Another spin-off! Do you 'discipline' other people's kids at the playground? - Page 2

[BlueStateMama]

If a child is being violent or mean and the other parents are nowhere to be seen or clearly ignoring what's going on, then I will say something to the child, as nicely as possible, or help my child stand up for themselves. If it's just something annoying, I wouldn't say anything.

Well put - I totally agree.

[rabrog]

I just disciplined a 6yo today at the playground. She was bossing the other kids around (the other kids were with our "group") and no one was having fun. She instigated rock throwing at the younger kids. I said "stop throwing rocks NOW." She just looked at me and quit. She tried to tell me that my DD wasn't leaving her alone to play with her ball. I told her if she didn't want to share the ball, it shouldn't be at the playground. : Her mom was sitting at a table on her cell phone.

Jenn

[mamadawg]

I totally do it. I can't help it. We were at a fountain the other day and bigger kids kept throwing water in the littler (including mine) kids' eyes. It was really annoying and obnoxious. I told a couple of the older kids to knock it off. I even told a mother to stop splashing so hard around my kids. She kept getting water in their faces and it was pissing me off. I have very little patience for people who blatantly disregard others.

Oh, and I made a kid cry once at a pizza parlor where our preschool was having a field trip. They have a huge play room that includes a large ball pit and he kept throwing them outside the cage. He hit one of the kids in the other preschool class in the face and then, seconds later, he hit my daughter in the face. Both were screaming & crying (we're talking 3 year olds). So I went to the boy, who was about 7 or 8, and I said as nicely as I could that he should play with the balls in the cage because they are dangerous outside of the cage. He burst out crying and ran away from me. I felt bad, but the mama bear in me came out. I really was nice to him.

[fiorio]

If older kids are being too rough when there are little ones around I will say something to them nicely only if the parents are not right there.

I did go crazy mama bear on one kid. I was at a very busy playground with 2 yo DS, and he was playing on a structure along with another girl around his age and a smaller boy who was probably 18 months. There were two moms with their group of 4 kids and they were doing a good job watching but it was hard for them to see everything going on. There were several near accidents because a very large 6 yo boy kept going up the slide even though the little ones were going down, and he was pushing past them. I said something to him once, and then his mom came over and yelled at him and swatted him on the butt. : She then went off somewhere else...and her great strategy had the effect of making him angry and wanting to vent his frustration on anyone weaker. He started walking right behind the smaller boy and almost knocked him over, and then ran to the top of the steps and stood there refusing to let him go up. The little boy's mom saw this and came over to get him, and I got in the older boy's face and told him "You do not do that. You leave the little kids alone". I was probably a little nasty but I was so furious at this bully. He kept away from me, DS and the other little ones the rest of the time. I know he learned that physical intimidation at home, but at the time the only thing I was feeling was anger that he would harass little kids.

[guestmama9911]

If it's my child being bullied, then hell yes, usually sweetly "please don't push/trip/whatever him. He's very little." But I put a stop to it immediately. I've never had a parent say anything to me. The thing is, if he's in the process of being knocked off a jungle gym, there's no time to find a parent. I need to stop that right away.

If I see other people's children in a situation, I try to size it up and see if there's an immediate risk of someone being injured, and then I try to gently put a stop to it. I have actually, more than once, shouted out "Is this child's parent or guardian nearby?" and then explained the situation to them.

Today though I was really pissed at my mother's pool because this kid kept splashing my autistic sister and none of the adults seemed to care and after both my mother and I tried several times to get him to stop, and he had splashed all of us including my son, I actually yelled at him and said "If you don't leave us alone, I'm going to get the manager, understand? Do not splash us again." The three adults present just looked up and kept talking. Made me mad, beause I had yelled so they would hear it. The kid laughed and swimmed off.

Way to parent, there.

[Lia & Eva's Mama]

i always intervene. if i see some behavior that is innapropriate and the mother is blind to it. i find kids listen to strangers better anyhow.

[MissSJ]

I would definately intervene. It actually did for the first time when I went on a trip to OH last week and we were at the mall at a place called Picture People. The two employees were either taking pictures or showing a customer their pictures when a group of about four children probably between 4-6 came in and started playing with the props (wood blocks) in the first picture studio near the entrance. My mom and I looked around for their parents but we didn't see anyone. Then the children started throwing the blocks pretty hard against the wall. After a while I asked where their parents were and told them that it wasn't a play area suggesting they go back to their parents. They continued to throw the blocks and when one hit my mom right on her ankle bone my stern mama voice came out and I told them they had to leave and find their parents. I watched them and they went across the hall into another store by a group of women. I was pretty astonished that anyone would let children that young wander around a mall by themselves.

[honeybee]

I deal with kids directly. I taught high school, and even before I had kids, I was used to dealing with kids -even teens- in public. I always approach them in a positive way, and give them the benefit of the doubt as far as motivation goes. For instance, if a bunch of teens are swearing near us, I would smile, catch someone's eye, and say something like, "Hey, you guys look like you're having a lot of fun. But you probably didn't notice there are little kids around. Could you please watch your language and keep it G-rated while the kids are in earshot? Thanks a lot!"

If there was immediate danger, as described in the OP, I would be more sharp, with a firm "stop!" and putting my body in front of the victim. I might stop a hand from hitting me or someone else, but otherwise wouldn't touch the hitter. If the child was really out of control, I would probably approach a parent, but try to do it in a disarming, sympathetic way. "Hi. Your ds seems to be having trouble controling his body right now, and he's hurting others. I think he's overwhelmed with all the activity, maybe he could use some quiet time away from the playground?"

But, this is tricky. It really depends on judging the parent's demeanor. Again, I always try to project empathy... because otherwise the parent will feel defensive and either 1) lambaste you for interfering (which doesn't bother me all that much) or 2) launch into the kid and way over-react. I find the second scenario to be the most common, and it's why I usually deal with the kids directly, and try to teach ds to handle his own disagreements.