Still keeping baby a secret???

[ScarletBegonias]

We are not telling anyone until we pass the 12 wk mark. But it's getting hard. I see family looking at my tummy, friends are asking if we are going to have another. There are a couple girls at work who just had babies/are pg. I actually think there is a rumor going around that I am pg.: And i think it started before I even knew I was pg.:

I can't lie and say "No, I'm not pg.", but I don't want to tell anyone yet.

One of my friends asked me (as we were nursing our babes, hers is 3 months old, mine is 17 mo), if we were going to have another. I told her "Probably eventually." Then she said "Soon?!?". And I was thinking Sheesh, what do I say? I'm already 8 weeks. So I just told her "Eventually.". It's true, eventually this baby will come out!!!

I know that in 4 weeks when I tell her, she'll bring up this conversation.

I'm just having a hard time with it, I want to wait on telling others in case anything happens, but I do feel this babe will stick. Plus, I feel it's obvious to everyone, especially because my belly poking out a little bit more every week.

Any other mamas going through this too?

[Brigianna]

Yep. I'm a big fat (and getting fatter) coward about telling people I'm pg "again." ("again? AGAIN!?"). I'll have to say eventually, but... not now!

[nolonger]

I feel like it is very obvious, but my dd says there's no noticeable belly and people aren't exactly going to be expecting it on me anyway.

I haven't made any grand announcement, only told people who needed to know for some reason.

[joshs_girl]

This is our first, and so, I think we are just cautious.

I've only told my mom, and by accident my sister. All of you of course

My first appointment is at 10 weeks, so we'll tell immediate family after that, the rest of the world after 12 or 14 weeks.

[eilonwy]

We accidentally let it slip to our son, but by some miracle he hasn't spread the word to the entire world yet.

I'm so dreading people learning that we're having a fourth. Meh. I'm kind of inclined to wait until I'm really showing (which, at my size, will be at least six months) :.

[camille76]

No, we haven't told anyone yet either. Well, I told my best friend who lives in another state... but we haven't told family or friends yet. I'm am starting to want to tell because i look like i'm getting fat!! So I wonder what people are thinking, if they've noticed.... "Boy, she's looking a little thick around the middle!" or maybe they suspect I'm pg. Who knows. Either way, it's starting to bug me. And to make matters worse, I can't seem to find my t-shirts that I want to wear that'd help mask it a little better. All I have are form-fitting shirts. :

[lovetobemama]

I have told some close family and close friends, which is good because the m/s has been too rough to hide, and it has helped to have their help with ds when I can get it.

I haven't told anyone that I work with, or the majority of our friends. I do prefer to wait till 12 weeks, just to be sure. I only work on Mondays, I am home with DS the rest of the time, but each Monday is getting harder and harder to get through. Thankfully, only a few more Mondays till m/s should be over, and then I can happily tell people.

I am particularly worried about tomorrow because the past few days have been hard, and I have taken some time off each of the pervious few Mondays, but can't take any off tomorrow, so it will be a very long day of faking feeling well. I work with toddlers, so being tired or cranky just doesn't work. I know I will get through it, I am just venting a little bit. Thanks for listening!

[slgt]

We told my parents, only because I needed to ask my mom to stay with me while DH is out of town and I'm still pretty sick. Some of our very closest friends know, but only those friends who don't know any of our other friends, so no gossip. Some of my coworkers have guessed based on my behavior (um, throwing up in our not-very-private bathrooms?). We're avoiding telling our more "networked" friends until after 12 weeks, and immediate family until our app't that will hopefully tell us everything is ok with hb. Extended family, maybe 14 weeks.

[Dea]

I have officially told the whole world....

[NamastePlatypus]

no we have told everyone but my mom never does until I am 15 weeks

[cicely_m]

I'm just starting a new job today, with the contract up for review in September.... so here's hoping I can keep a really good secret!!!!:

[Justmee]

We told my parents adn dh's parents. We'll tell our siblings around 12 - 14 weeks depending on if we are going to see them in person or if we will call anyway. We tell them all the same time. I'll tell close friends but most other people I just wait until it's obvious to them.

[Leilalu]

I'm just so happy to have a good test result( makes me a little more certain I won't miscarry early again) that I'll tell the world!
I have told 3 good friends, and a friend I ran across at the store.

Everyone was already eying me suspiciously anyway. I have a bit of extra skin leftover from my other 2 kids. Most of our friends know we are trying as well. It was just really hard up until this point, because I am past when I normally would have miscarried. So, part of me wanted to spill the beans so bad, yet the other part kept it in. Only those 3 friends knew I suspected I was.

[Cuileanne]

I'm about 5-6 weeks along, and we've told my mom, dad and one sister. I told DH that we can also tell his 'rents, but would prefer to keep anyone else "out of the know" until I'm a bit further along. We'll see if *I* can keep my big mouth shut or not though

[Nature]

We've told the only family we speak to. Which means 95% of our families don't know. But then, I never told them we were pg with our last either. In fact, they still don't know! They all think we have 2 kids. No idea #3 is 18 months old.

I'm so evil.

No, they are toxic people so we just don't associate or tell them anything. I haven't even told all my friends. The ones I see or talk to the most, yes. But others.. nah.

[Writerbird]

We've told three very close friends. I didn't mean to tell two of them, but they remembered my cycle I'm glad I did, though, they've been lifesavers.

We were hoping to hear a heartbeat on Wed, and tell the whole family on Sunday (birthday party for my husband). But I just found out the sonogram tech is booked solid, so we're going to have make a tough call. The next big family party isn't until September, and I'd rather tell them all at once... but seems like it's borrowing trouble to say anything before we hear the sound.

We'd be 8.5 weeks along. Argh.

Oh well, we are enjoying our little secret.

[nolonger]

Originally Posted by Nature

95% of our families don't know. But then, I never told them we were pg with our last either. In fact, they still don't know! They all think we have 2 kids. No idea #3 is 18 months old.

I'm so evil.

No, they are toxic people so we just don't associate or tell them anything. I haven't even told all my friends. The ones I see or talk to the most, yes. But others.. nah.

You are very, very brave!

It's beginning to look more and more as if this is the route I am going to have to go. I wish I could have given my older kids the same gift you are giving yours, that of keeping toxic people out of their lives.

I really don't have much family to speak of, just an adult daughter, and she already knows.

[Nature]

Originally Posted by noordinaryspider

You are very, very brave!

It's beginning to look more and more as if this is the route I am going to have to go. I wish I could have given my older kids the same gift you are giving yours, that of keeping toxic people out of their lives.

I really don't have much family to speak of, just an adult daughter, and she already knows.

Out of my family and my husbands, we only have dh's two sisters and their children. There are a few family friends on his side that are called "uncle" and we see them. Other than that.. thats it on his side. On my side, I have a younger male cousin, and an uncle by marriage, and an uncle by blood that we keep in contact with a little bit. The uncle by blood lives in California and I haven't seen him since I was 5 years old.

So that leaves out, my aunt (toxic queen, mental & emotional abusive), my grandfather (pedophile), cousins, my father (pedophile), everyone on my fathers side that I never met, my mother (passed away) my grandmother who raised me (passed away), 3 more uncles (one of them a pedophile), and a half brother and sister, .. .dh has an adopted father (pedophile), a mother (passed away), a grandmother (passed away), and a brother he has never met.

Wow.. 4 convicted pedophiles in the family. Isn't that a really large amount or something? Geesh.

I separated from all of them out of necessity. I wish I had had the gonads to do it sooner for myself, but I was scared. Now that I have my own little family, I realize that I didn't need them. Not the way they made me feel like I did.

So.. when you take out the undesirables, my family is very small too.

[Writerbird]

Wow, Nature, you're very powerful to take things in control as you have.

BTW, if I'm reading this right, the grandfather likely molested two of his children - many pedophiles were themselves abused. It's really not too far fetched at all, but it does mean you had to cut out a huge chunk of family.

You. Freaking. Go. Girl.

[nolonger]

Nature, I think you're my new hero.



And yes, the pedophilia does tend to be a repeating pattern in families that you have saved your little ones from when you successfully broke the cycle.