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Originally Posted by Writerbird  Wow, Nature, you're very powerful to take things in control as you have.
BTW, if I'm reading this right, the grandfather likely molested two of his children - many pedophiles were themselves abused. It's really not too far fetched at all, but it does mean you had to cut out a huge chunk of family.
You. Freaking. Go. Girl.
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Yes, my grandfather molested his youngest son, and perhaps his other son as well. Its all very hush, hush. He denied it, but all the children admitted it. And whats odd was.. I was very close with him all my life. He was a great grandfather to me, but he ignored my cousins. We all lived together, so that was odd. Until I figured it out. He kept far away from males. He helped out at a public school (his pedophile status was grandfathered because it was so long ago) and ONLY helped teach females. Never males. This is because I believe he didn't trust himself. His abuse was only towards boys.
I finally confronted him with what relatives told me. He denied it...but he did it in a way that made me uncomfortable. He acted guilty. Instead of being shocked, or hurt.. he was angry. Outraged even. And his reaction was a bit odd.
I just couldn't allow him near my children after that. It ruined our relationship, because the trust was gone. I have no regrets about confronting him. I only wish I had known sooner.
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Originally Posted by noordinaryspider Nature, I think you're my new hero. 
And yes, the pedophilia does tend to be a repeating pattern in families that you have saved your little ones from when you successfully broke the cycle. |
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You know.. my father was a pedophile. He molested me when I was little. I cut him out of my life when I was nine and never saw him again. But I've heard over and over all of my life, mostly from social service workers, therapists, etc... that perpetrators were most likely sexual abuse victims themselves. And then I get "the look." You know, the one that says "You're tainted goods." I always hated the phrase, "Those who are molested are more likely to go on to molest their own children." because I have never known what to do about that. What do you say to that? I'm not a molester. I've never even come close to that. I've been in therapy and dealt with the "issues" from my father... but you never get cured of being born into a family that has pedophiles. You'll always be a victim that has a higher potential to abuse. According to CPS, its a "risk factor" that means I have more red flags than others.
I've never understood the fairness of that.
: Its almost like judging someone before anything happens. When I was a child, I was horrified about it. I promised myself I'd never have kids because I didn't want to molest them. Because the important people said that I would. I'm sure I wasn't the only child that was told that.. but it really traumatized me.
But you're right. It does tend to run in families.. and I know that I saved my children from a lot of abuse. Sexual, mental, emotional and physical.. by getting them away from most of my family.. I just wish that all people saw them as getting out of the pattern of abuse yk?
and not continuing to live it simply because their mama has a higher "risk factor."
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Originally Posted by bloominmamas Nature you Rock!! Way to protect yourself and your family. It's hard to cut out family when they are the ones that you are suppose to love unconditionally and vice versa. Way to go to anyone who had the strength to do that!
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Thank you!!
I'm afraid that I've had a deep thoughts night with this thread.
I apologize for derailing it the way I have.
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