Babysitter question

[Inci]

I really couldn't find an appropriate forum for this... I hope it fits here okay!

I’m an in-home childcare provider (nanny, babysitter, call me what you will) and overall I love it, but I have a problem I’d like help with - I’m posting about it here, to get parents’ perspectives, as well as on a nanny forum, for the nanny perspective.

So, my situation:

I’m working part time for 3 different families - I’m with Family A 3 days/wk (12-15 hrs total), Family B 2 days/wk (10 hrs total), Family C 2 days/wk (5 hrs total). I also have 4 other families that I babysit for on an occasional, as-needed basis.

In general, it’s pretty relaxed and informal, and we all benefit from the flexibility this arrangement offers. I enjoy the variety.

Lately though, I’ve been frustrated because all of the families have been suddenly canceling or shortening my hours, and thus, I’m losing money. (I get paid hourly). That is, Mom A sometimes tells me, “I won’t need you tomorrow after all,” and Mom B sends me home an hour or two early, and Mom C, who originally told me she wanted me two days a week, seems to cancel at least one of those days every other week. This week alone, I’m working at least 11 hrs less than I was scheduled to/expected to.
These last-minute cancellations are especially frustrating when, for example, Mom A asks if I can babysit on such-and-such a day and I say no, I’m already at Mom B’s house, then Mom B cancels at the last minute when it’s too late for me to say yes to Mom A and I’m out of work WHEN I COULD HAVE HAD IT, if only Mom B had let me know SOONER!

I don’t think the moms realize the way in which they are all connected, and the effect that each of them can have on the others... nor do they realize the effect they are each having on my finances. They probably don’t think that cutting my time by an hour or two here or there is such a big deal, but it BECOMES a big deal when they ALL do it, because all of those “little bits” of time add up. It’s been a struggle to pay the bills lately. I’m almost 30 years old and have been a childcare provider for 16 years - this is my main, sometimes only, income. I’m not some high schooler doing this for pocket money; I really need a stable, dependable income!

What I would really like is to set up a policy so that I’m guaranteed a minimum amount of money per week. That is, if Family X asks me to work 10 hrs a week, I need to get paid for 10 hrs of work every week, even if they cancel some of those hours or send me home early. But is it unreasonable to expect to be salaried for such a small amount of hrs? As a parent, would you be willing/able to pay to "reserve" a babysitter's hours, even if you didn't end up using all of the hours?

I don’t know whether it would be better to talk with each mom personally, or write up a newsletter-y thing to give to all of the moms. I worry that if I give them something written, it will seem a little too formal and off-putting (given the nature of my current relationships with them - I’m close friends with one of them), but on the other hand, a letter to all of them at once shows that my frustration is with the system as a whole, not necessarily any of them personally, and it shows that they *are* connected and have an effect on each other, which I think they may not always realize. That is, Mom A may not realize that when she comes home 15 minutes late, it makes me arrive at Mom B’s house 15 minutes late; or that when Mom C meticulously arranges her schedule for the day, possibly even inconveniencing herself, so that she’ll be home in time for to me make it to Mom D’s house in time and then Mom D cancels at the last minute, Mom C and I both feel frustrated.

Thoughts on how to handle this, in a way that’s respectful and fair to all of us?
It's a sticky situation, because I've purposefully chosen NOT to be a professional nanny (i.e. through an agency, with a contract, working full time for one family), because I DO prefer work that is more informal, flexible, variable, etc. And I'm not expecting or hoping to get rich. But I DO need to find a way to make this work so that I can at least pay for rent, utilities, car, and food!

[littlemizflava]

i am in the same biz as you and a mom so i know how you feel i always just end up charging by day not hours and if i say 120 a week for 5 hours a day it is that no matter if i dont work a day or 2 or even a few hours over it equals out in the end but with me the flexablity works because i do it at my house so late dont matter this is one of the main reasons i choose not to go to their houses ............ i would end up telling them that it is not working the way it is they probablly dont think that it is cutting you out of money or they know it is and are trying to save them selves that money but i think if you say you need me that day and you dont need me after all then you have to pay a cancelation fee that way you dont end up losing it all

[jillmamma]

Do you have a written contract with each family? If not, I think now would be a good time to put one into place. It lays things out in black and white and lessens the chance for mixups like this. I have done child care out of my home for 3 years (on a break right now), and always have had a contract with each parent. I charged a flat rate of $30 per day (if I get back into business again, I think I am going to go with a flat weekly rate). In your case, maybe it would work better to charge a weekly or monthly fee (I would suggest just take your hourly rate and multiply by the number of hours normally worked in a week/month, and maybe take off like $5 or something, so to them it is framed as a "better" deal, and to you it is a more reliable deal). That way, they pay for your time and availablity vs. just actual hours worked. If you watch their child(ren) on extra days, you could just charge your hourly rate for that time. But have it all spelled out in a contract, and I think you will come across as very professional and it shows that you see this as really serious business too. Good luck to you!

[Nicole77]

I am coming into this as both a former nanny and now a mother. When I nannied in my early twenties I was paid a salary of $14 per hour for 36 hours per week. I worked three 12 hour days per week and if someone came home early or late my pay remained the same. Both parents were doctors so sometimes they would be a bit late and sometimes they would come off call early and I would get an unexpectedly free afternoon. It worked out well and I suspect more often in my favor than in theirs and I appreciated the consistent pay.

As a mother now I try to extend that same courtesy to sitters that we use. When my son was 7 months I needed someone to watch him for two hours three mornings a week while dd was in preschool and I had college courses. I ended up hiring a good friend of mine who is at home with her children. We sat down before the semester started and figured out which days I had off from class and which days she would be away and I would need alternate arrangements and agreed that those days would be unpaid. Outside of those specified days she was paid. When I decided to skip class and stay home she was paid because she had made herself available. And when ds caught a cold and I kept him home she was paid because she made herself available. In short, my choice to not avail myself of her services for a particular day should not be weighed more heavily than the fact that she arranged her day to be available for us.

I think you should expect no less from the parents that you work for. I am not sure how to make such changes with as little friction as possible since this has not been the arrangement until now but I would start with talking to the parents about the way that these sudden changes in plan affect you and your finances and see what they have to say. Perhaps they will make the obvious leap on their own.

[Starr]

I don't think its unreasonable. DD goes to a wonderful in home DCP, she attends 4 days a week for about 9 hours each day give or take. She has a full time slot meaning we are contracted in for a minimum of 30 hours a week whether or not we use them. There have been exceptions like if I let her know months in advance she wont be there for several days in a row she is sometimes able to work aound her being gone and we didn't get charged. She has 2 part time kids that she is able to float around.

[karina5]

I also would add a minimum number of hours to get paid.

I'm sure if you nicely explained the situation to the families, and that you need to earn a living, they will understand. And if they don't, who wants to work for them???

Next time, though, get it all squared away beforehand. Good luck!

I was a former nanny, too, btw. =)

[girlie1125]

Not a nanny, but as odd as it sounds, I have friends in the interpreting business that face similar dilemmas.

I think lots of good suggestions were made here. I have two.

One, when explaining the change to your moms, rather than detailing the inconvenience to you and your *finances*, explain the strain its putting on *your ability to remain a nanny/child-care provider*. I could see someone saying to themselves "I don't care about your finances!", and I don't think that's what you're after. But if they instead think "What would I do without my wonderful sitter!?!" that's something different.

My first thought of how to implement a change was not contracts or getting paid for X hours whether or not they're used. These were suggested by "folks in the field" so I'm sure this arrangement works best for many. My first thought was "cancellation policy". In other words, you must cancel within (48 hrs? one week?, whenever allows you enough time to fill that slot/make changes accordingly) or you will still be charged for that time.

As a mom, *I* personally think I'd be much more amenable to a cancellation policy (even if it was a 7 day cancellation policy) than to paying a flat fee no matter how many hours I actually used. If my child is sick at the last minute, I would be fine with paying a DCP for that day. But if I know 2 weeks ahead of time that I'll have a slow week at work and be able to take some time off, I'd be a little irked at still having to pay.

Just my $0.02

[Inci]

Thanks for the feedback, everyone!

Girlie, this -

"rather than detailing the inconvenience to you and your *finances*, explain the strain its putting on *your ability to remain a nanny/child-care provider*"

- is a very good point, and so true! That's exactly it.
I chose to give up a full-time, well-paying, Lead Teacher position with regular hours and benefits, to go back to nannying/babysitting - because it's what I prefer! I love the relative informality of caring for children in their homes, being able to develop closer relationships with both the children and their parents. I need to be paid regularly, and paid enough money, not because I want the money itself... but so that I can continue to do this work, which I enjoy! Occasionally an older child will ask me why I get paid to be with him/her, and my typical response is something along the lines of, "I need money to pay for things like my apartment, gas for my car, and the food I eat. If your [mom, dad] didn't pay me, I would have to get a job somewhere else to earn money... and then I wouldn't have so much time to be here with you, and I would be sad!"

[lilyka]

I had this problem when I babysat too. they would just cancle so they could save a few bucks. totally screw me. like I was a worthless accessory. I had to make a contract and stick to it. I required paymnent for any cancelation of less than 48 hours for my regular kids. I also started requireing payment by the week in half day chunks. So i got $30 a day and $15 for a half day (they should have been kissing my feet. this wasn't that long ago) or $75 a week for anything 3 days or more. So if i was scheduled for 2 half days they paid me $30 wether they showed up or not. If they wanted more then they could pay me that day. i did it at my house which helped to. that way I could babysit for more than one family and if one cancled I could still have the other family. Since you have so many irregular families this might be benificial to you. I also had drop of rates. $4 per hour per child (the going rate here). If they wanted to be a regular family with a contract they could get the cheaper rate. But if they wanted the flexability of drop of then they could pay the higher rate.

So there are several option for you. I would offer them a weekly rate with a max number of hours (Say for anything up to 10 hours you pay $30 or whatever then extra if they want more.) and then much higher hourly rate if they want more flexability. That way even if you get dropped you could still come out ok.