Ex's SIL washed DS's mouth out with soap!

[Jilian]

I am LIVID. My NB DS recently had a suprised open heart surgery (born with an undetected defect) and while we were @ the hospital far away DS1 stayed with his dad. His dad took him up north to visit family during this time (with my permission) and while he was up there he left DS with his SIL. I think this girl is fairly young, maybe young 20's. DS said a bad word and she washed his mouth out with soap WTF?! DS told me and ex confirmed it. He said he talked to her about it. I had to try hard to keep my cool. This chick is lucky she lives thousands of miles away or I'd let her know what I really think of what she did. She's only even met my DS a few times, who the hell does she think she is??!!

Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. :

[Finch]

Omg I'd want her head on a freaking platter. Holy crap. I am livid for you. Hey, how's Evan, btw? Been keeping you in my prayers.

[runes]

omg, i'm so sorry, mama! on top of the stresses of your sweet new little one, you're having to deal with this drama?

i'm hoping that your ex was able to tell his sister that her actions were totally inappropriate and downright abusive.:

[TexasSuz]

I had a daycare worker do that to me when I was really young and I still remember the taste. It was awful! Someone should do it to her and she how she likes it. I bet she has said a few bad words in her lifetime!

[wytchywoman]

Is there any way you can write her a letter to let her know how totally inappropriate that was? I would also stipulate to your XH that this woman not be allowed to interact with your DS anymore, at least not without supervision. When I was divorcing my XH I actually had part of the divorce decree state that if XH's sisters or mom ( who were all unbelievably absuive and had no problem hitting any child, either theirs or someone elses) wanted to see our DS then they needed to go to counseling. One sister complied and she is actually doing much better parenting wise, the others didn't and they have never seen our DS.
Anyways, I would be totally hopping mad too and I would find some way, diplomatic if possible but that isn't mandatory in my book, to let her know she screwed up big time.

[Bad Mama Jama]

What? That's all I can say without being banned...

[bigeyes]

grrrrrrrrrrrrr!

imo, that is child abuse

[fek&fuzz]

that is horrifying. Hopefully your ex was just as upset about it as you are and will never leave your son with her again.
I can't imagine thinking it is ok to do that to someone else's child (or your own, but especially someone else's.)

[~PurityLake~]

Ew, that brings back memories. When I was 8, my brother kept calling me a f*****, and I finally called him that name back. Of course, that happened to be the exact moment my mom walked in the room, heard me, didn't care to hear that my brother had been saying it and that's the only way I even knew that word. She made me hold a bar of soap in my mouth (I don't remember how long, just that is was nasty). I don't know if she changed her mind about doing that or what, because she never did it again.
I would never do that to my daughters. I don't think it teaches anyone anything good.

[sunflowers]

I hope your ex doesn't allow her to have your ds again without supervision!

In many states that is actually considered child abuse and can (and would!) be reported to CPS. If my ex or anyone with whom he left our dd in the care of ever did that I'd be certain she would not be with them again. At least not until they got some very good parenting classes.

Have you told ex that if it ever happens again that you would call CPS?

Hugs, mama

[Genesis]

OMG! I can't believe someone would think that is acceptable to do to another person's child! :
(or their own child, for that matter)

I'm not sure I would be able to control my anger if someone did that to DS. You should call this person up and say something, IMO.

[CaraNicole]

i did have an idea of what to do from the title...
i was going to say, the next time your at her house put liquid soap on her toothbrush but after reading your post...

i would call and do nothing short of have a "insert all cuss words known to man" field day with her on the phone... i might would press charges, this is child abuse imo and should be dealt with...not only for your ds but for other kids she may "take care of"

ugh what a UA violation...

to be honest i don't get worked up over alot but this has my panties in a knot... i must go now my hormones are getting the best of me...

to you and your DS

[meandmine]

So sorry that your newborn has been so sick. Hope he is recovering from the surgergy!

As for what happened.

Keep it simple ... life is long .... first question is: Was your X appalled. If yes, then make sure you ask him how he handled it and and what he said to your X sil.

If you and your X are on the same page and X addressed the inappropriate discipline (I agree, btw, waaaay out of line). Then that is that. She has been told that you and your X don't use that form of discipline and that it is unacceptable and won't be tolerated.

If your X and you are not on the same page then there needs to be further discussion with your X. If you can't come to agreement then you probably need to talk it through with a mediator if there needs to be a specific change to your parenting plan regarding forms of discipline and who can care for your child solo.

One step at a time. I would not go ballistic yet and not directly with your x sil until you have worked it through with your X.

Believe me, I understand.

M

[DragonflyBlue]

Originally Posted by bigeyes

grrrrrrrrrrrrr!

imo, that is child abuse

Actually in many states that IS child abuse. You could call DCFS and find out if you really want to pursue this. Your child was assaulted, plain and simple and it would be a cold day in hell before the SIL ever saw my child again.

Me? I'd call and report her for child abuse. I wouldn't give a hoot who it might piss off.

Poor baby... I'm so sorry for him...

[WatermelonSnow]

That is awful! I'm so sorry for you and your little man.

[Jster]

Wow, that's horrible! My dad did that once, and I'll never forget it, it was the worst thing and so unfair. It's not like little kids come up with those words on their own, I had heard the "bad word" out of my own dad's mouth.

I agree with others, this might warrant a CPS report. It wouldn't effect your ex, just his sister, but might really make them realize that even though DS is far away from you, you are still keeping an eye on him and his care and that they have to abide by certain standards.

Sorry to hear about this!

[MsChatsAlot]

I hope both of your little ones are okay.

I would definitely talk to her, use it as an opportunity to inform and educate. Let her know it's not okay and why. I would be fairly nice about it though. No one ever hears anything in anger. And, I'm guessing she did it because it's all she knows or what she learned. It's a good time to let her know that it's not okay ever and show her a different route.

Healing & love to you and both of your boys.

[goodheartedmama]

This was common practice in my house growing up...just for ever "talking back". I have horrifying memories of it. I'm sorry your son went through that.

[marieeagle]

That is awful! I can't even imagine if someone did that to my babies! I am so sorry! :

[cycle]

I am so sorry for your dc! I would do what most of the pps said - find out if it is considered child abuse in your state and press charges if it is - and have a very direct and firm talk with her.

I can't even imagine how you must feel.