Please tell me: Am I overreacting?

[Beppie]

Please tell me if I'm overreacting....

My doctor changed my Due Date from Dec. 14th to December 9th. But he never told me he changed it.

(not to mention HE'S WRONG! We know when the baby was conceived b/c we only did the deed ONE time that whole week!!!!)

I found out because I overheard a nurse talking on the phone in setting up my ultrasound. And then I questioned her about it.

But I am SO ticked off. This doctor has a horrible reputation in the community for cesareans, and birth intervention. Did he make my EDD earlier to have an excuse to induce me? (I already informed him that my first baby was born at 42 weeks, and I'd like for this baby to bake as long as it wants.) Did he want to induce me 2 weeks from the 9th because that means it'd happen before the Christmas holiday? (42 weeks would then be December 23 instead of December 28.)

I am so annoyed. This doctor tells me nothing, doesn't spend more than 2 minutes in the room with me, doesn't ask me any questions about the baby movements, nutrition, exercise, ANYTHING! But changing the due date seems SO extremely presumptuous on his part. And I think it's the last straw for me. I don't feel I can trust him. :

I just wanted to ask other birth professionals, am I overreacting? Should he have told me that he changed my due date?

thanks for your thoughts.

(unfortunately, he's the only doctor who does births in our town. But I'm still planning on finding a new doctor, even though that means I have to drive 30 minutes to another town.)

[dewi]

Its sounds the routine normal way OB's treat pregnant women.

If you do not like being treated this way, get off his treadmill towards a c/section now! Your instincts are correct.
Everything you describe is why so many women choose Midwives and have a homebirth. Sounds like you might be ready to take control of your birth and normalize it starting today.

How about investigating a homebirth.

[Rachael Cail]

I second that

Yes - you can only make choices about your child's birth before - much better to go with your instincts, as was said, instead of having regrets for not listening to yourself. This is your baby, your birth, your family - unfortunately, for this doctor, you are just another patient. I would urge you to contact a doula or natural childbirth educator in your area; they'll be able to give you info on other options. Good luck!

[JanetF]

Doctors are not appropriate carers for pregnant women and this one sounds pretty normal in that regard. A mere half hour to better care? No brainer, hey? Better yet, a midwife in your own home since you seem to want evidence based care rather than scheduled fearmongering.

[SublimeBirthGirl]

Half an hour? that's nothing. I'm glad you're switching. It'd be nuts to stay w/ a doctor with a horrible rep who lies and does c-sections all the time over half an hour.

[wumanh]

Run away! Run away! I can't tell you how important it is to have a caregiver who supports natural birth (if that is what you want). You have to have trust. 30 minutes is nothing to drive for a better caregiver. I live in rural VT and you have to drive that to get anywhere!

[mezzaluna]

that's just not right... i hope you can switch to a better provider before the birth!! if you know the only day you had sex, then your due date has to be no earlier than your calculation, and could be a few days later if sperm didn't actually find egg for a few days. but i see no reason how your due date could be a few days *earlier*

[MidwifeErika]

If you have any doubts about your care provider now, switch. Find a new one. Even if that means traveling, 30 minutes isn't so bad... pretty normal for rural MN (grew up in a town of 2600 in MN... it was 30 minutes to anything at all!)

You can post in the tribal area as well and maybe people would have some good suggestions for midwives or doctors close by that would be a better fit.

[MadWorldSonnet]

Due dates often change. It may have been based on your LMP at first, then changed according to a sonogram,

Not being snarky, but have you ever called him on his behavior? asked him why the EDC was changed? Asked him why he doesn't spend any time with you or ask you any questions?

Do you have a car or reliable transportation? If so, I don't see any reason to not drive 30min for competant care. (to be honest, i thought that I had read it wrong, when I saw that it was only 30 minutes...)

[bigeyes]

They do it all the time. I knew the instant I conceived and I never had sex with my ds's father again. My idiot OB insisted I was further along than it was possible for me to be.

I gave birth at exactly 40 weeks to the day.

Pfffffffffffffffft!
You can't reason with them, but you can fire them.

[~Heyokha~]

Originally Posted by Rachael Cail

Yes - you can only make choices about your child's birth before - much better to go with your instincts, as was said, instead of having regrets for not listening to yourself. This is your baby, your birth, your family - unfortunately, for this doctor, you are just another patient. I would urge you to contact a doula or natural childbirth educator in your area; they'll be able to give you info on other options. Good luck!

[Beppie]

Thank you for all the words of wisdom!

At my next appointment I'm going to call him on his behavior (changing EDD w/o telling me, concerns about him not even discussing my pregnancy during appointments, putting me on the induction/cesearean bandwagon, etc.), and then I'm going to fire him. I've thought about canceling my appointment, but I really want to tell him my mind first. (I'm actually a lawyer---and although not a very confrontation person, I'm somewhat looking forward to expressing my frustration with how he's treating me.)

I also have an appointment tomorrow with the other clinic 30 minutes from here. I'm going to really make sure I like that provider, and if I don't, I'm planning on a homebirth midwife.

(It's true 30 minutes isn't far... my reservation is because my first dd's labor was very fast, and the roads here in rural Minnesota could be really bad in December, when dd#2 is born... that is the reason for my reservation about 30 miles! Not sure about icy roads and a fast labor. It wouldn't be fun for the baby to be born in our old car in Minnesota in December.)

[homebirthing]

As a fellow Minnesotan, I would look into homebirth as well as the hospital birth (since you are planning on changing docs anyway). That way you can make sure you get what you really want!

Good luck.