Midwife didn't make it to my birth=partial refund?

[grapejuicemama]

Ok. So this is what happened.

I had my baby a few months ago and I've been agonizing over this since it happened.

My mw missed the birth because she was several hours away at her home and I had a very quick labor. Less than 20 minutes, actually.

She had checked my cervix a couple of days prior and said that I "felt more ready than so and so", but she went home to wait for "so and so" to have her baby first because she didn't want to miss that birth.

So, we had an UC and then called her after the baby was born and went over everything with her. Her apprentice and another lady showed up an hour later and she said that she'd give them each $100 out of the $3150 that we paid her.

I didn't see my mw until 6 days after the baby was born.

I feel like we are entitled to a partial refund. Not because I'm angry that she wasn't there (though I do feel a little abandoned) but because we paid for a service that wasn't provided. Obviously, no one could have predicted that I'd have a 20 minute labor, but why should we still have to pay for services that were not rendered?

I absolutely believe in paying for the services that were provided, but how would you break that down?

What do you think? I really want to know how others feel about this.

[JessicaE]

My son was born 9 minutes before our midwives arrived. I had called them several hours before and said the ctx were 5 minutes apart, intense, and hard to relax through. She told me to wait for my doula and call back. We did, they left right away after that call, and they missed the birth.

I paid the full amount, and didn't expect/request a refund. They gave really wonderful post-partum care. I really thought they should have been there, but I've made peace with it as there were a number of factors in play.

[mwherbs]

and would you expect to pay more if she spent 3 days at your house?
no not her fault that you gave birth quickly-- and someone did arrive.
you don't just pay for the birth but prenatal care, and a mw to be on call 24/7 for your whole pregnancy, and if you had been able to call her in time she would have been there as well.

[mendomidwife]

It is always disappointing for everyone when a birth is missed. I don't give a refund.

Carla

[Carolinamidwife]

It is disappointing and normal to feel abandoned by the postpartum care, I assume, since you did say they live far and you went quickly. I don't give a refund past 36 weeks for any reason.

[mom3b1?]

If the labor had lasted a long time, and the MW had every opportunity to be there but did not come, I might expect a partial refund, maybe just a token amount to apologize for not trying to be there. I can't imagine any MW acting that way, though. Circumstances cause them to miss births from time to time, through no fault of their own. Because your birth was so fast I don't think she really had a chance to be there, and it'd be unfair to penalize her. I think it would have been nice of her to personally come see you sooner, but she did have someone else come. You might want to let her know how you feel, so perhaps she will make an effort with future clients to make a personal appearance, but it may not be possible for her. There may be too few MWs to take care of the mom's who need them, and that may be as good as it can be.

Kiley

[bobandjess99]

ALL the midwife contracts I have ever seen or heard about SPECIFICALLY state that missing the birth is NOT a reason for a refund. I can not believe your midwife did not address thatin her contract??? did she?
Because you just never know when it comes to birth, and midwives would be giving a lot of refunds. Clearly, you KNEW beforehand that your midwife was very far away, and was covering a large area of clients. It was part of the chance you took.
Also, I have heard it explained that you are not payting for the midwife to BE ther, so much as for the "insurance" of having a midwife.....the knowledge that if you DID have a long, hard, difficult, complicated labor, then someone would be there to help, someone would be there who had skills you might not have, someone who might be able to resolve problems, give encouragement, or identify a true emergency in order to transport. And you DID have that. I'm assuming that had your labor lasted longer, you would have called her, and sahe would ave been there in 2 hours, which was the "lag time" you knew about and clearly agreed to by hiring her. You had to know that there was a CHANCE, however small, that your labor would last less than 2 hours, and she would not make it for your birth. (I still can NOT believe this was not something you guys discussed/was in the contract???)

Now - if she was supposed to provide a certain number of postpartum visits, and did not fulfill that, or was supposed to come out within 2 days/3 days, etc, and did not fulfill that - then I would think you would have alegitimate complaint. Super fast labor? Basically - you gambled and lost....had you just gone UC - you;d be $3000 richer right now - but you DIDN'T, you chose to hire someone , and well....basically lost your bet. Sorry, it bites....and honestly, I'm right there with you. There is a GREAT midwife in town, and I'd LOVE to hire her for my birth(I see her for prenatals n a per-visit fee basis)...but it's $2000 for the birth package, and I can do it myself for free....so we UC.

[SublimeBirthGirl]

Well, I prefer UC personally, but it's like the pp said. It's a gamble, on the midwife's part too. She might have been at your house for 3 days of constant labor support. She would not have called you and said you owed her more because you took up more time than she expected. Birth is unpredictable. You paid that money for peace of mind, and you had a smooth birth. Be happy.

[Ruthla]

I don't see why it matters how much the apprentice and the other assistant were paid. Your midwife provided pre and postnatal care, and made sure somebody was there for you as soon as realistically possible after the birth. She was unable to attend the birth due to circumstances (ie, fast labor), but got somebody to check out both you and the newborn an hour after the birth- certainly a reasonable time frame.

It sounds like you're mostly upset that she sent out her assistant instead of coming to you herself. I think that's a reason to talk to her, and let her know that you felt abandoned, but IMO it's not a reason to withhold fees.

[MidwifeErika]

Remember too that you are paying for that spot she held open. Had she not had you as a client, she could have had someone else due at the same time. You wouldn't have been charged any extra had you had a very hard and long birth, so it wouldn't be right to give discounts for fast births.

Now, had she not come because she was hanging out in the bar, I would feel totally differently, but a fast labor was something out of her control so I don't think she owes you any of the money back.

Congrats on the baby!

[mandib50]

i would pay

[birthgreeter]

I limit how many clients I take on each month. By doing this, it means I will have more time with you, BUT it still does not mean that I may not miss a birth. If a birth happens as fast as yours did, then your midwife would have had to live within 10 -15 minutes and still may have missed it!
I tell all of my clients right up front that they will still owe me if I do miss a birth. I make every attempt to be there for the birth. My paper work my clients sign states the following:
"we understand that we are responsible for full payment in the event the midwives cannot be present at our birth due to a precipitous delivery or lack of adequate notification."

Actually, I HATE missing a birth! After spending time with my clients to get to know them, I WANT to be there!
If someone delivers while I am on vacation, and my 'back up midwife" does the birth, I am sad to miss it!
I do not lower my fees for missing a birth. I do not lower my fees if you come late to my care.

[JunipersMom]

I HATE missing births - its like foreplay without the climax (crude comparison but it really does fit) as a midwife I spend alot of time thinking about my clients and how their doing, what I need to do for them, wondering if the dream I had about them should warrant a 3am telephone call etc... That along with the prenatals, phone calls, emails, births, postpartums and regularly scheduled events - I think it works financiallly to my clients benefit, especially if they have a quick birth and I dont have to set-up my digs in their house and eat their food .
I never give refunds after 36 weeks.

[Maggi315]

I am in the rare minority, I do give a partial refund. that's why I charge for each visit individually, I charge for work done. If I miss the birth, though, I do come right after and do all the postpartum care, so I do charge for that and a fee for being on call, but I wouldn't charge the full fee, I just don't feel right about it, I understand others who do and respect that. Now, if someone just didn't call me, maybe that would be different.

[momto l&a]

I have had 2 of my births missed, we didn't get refunds.

The mw's came, cleaned, checked everything out and left.

[pamamidwife]

I don't offer a refund if I miss the birth because of a fast labor.

Just like I don't charge if it's a super long labor.

[pigpokey]

Originally Posted by mom3b1?

If the labor had lasted a long time, and the MW had every opportunity to be there but did not come, I might expect a partial refund, maybe just a token amount to apologize for not trying to be there. I can't imagine any MW acting that way, though. Circumstances cause them to miss births from time to time, through no fault of their own.

Whoa, Kiley. It's off topic for the OP, but mw's are not supreme beings. They get stressed, overschedule, get addicted to drugs and alcohol, sex and gambling, piddle around their houses so they can leave for the birth after rush hour, and all the other reasons people are late and screw up at work generally.

[wednesday]

I understand the "no refunds" thing, but I would have thought the MW would at least make an appearance the same day. I thought MWs did some things after the birth, like checking the baby, cleaning up, checking on the mother, etc. Leaving this task to an apprentice and "another lady" doesn't quite sit right for me. Even if it was a long drive and the birth was over, it seems to me it would have been more professional for the MW to come and do the post-partum stuff in a timely manner.

[RachelGS]

I wouldn't expect a refund, but I would be very angry that the midwife didn't show up for six days. Yikes.

[Quindin]

I am not in this situation because midwives are paid by the state, but I had not even thought about a situation like yours when I lived in the US. Important to consider!

On the one hand I understand that the midwife has that spot often for her clients and the fee is like an insurance - also, she needs to have that money ahead of time as a warranty as she is not god and can't know for sure if she will make it. On the other hand, it really sucks for the mom who is paying for services that were not rendered during labour. Then again, if there was a contract...

You should definitely bring up the fact that she did not even see you until 6 days - that for sure is not cool

I guess if I had to pay for midwives I would look for someone who charged per visit, just in case.