Originally Posted by rayo de sol
Are you absolutely sure
that there's no chance that he could be sexually abusing her? The above sounds worrisome.
Have you taught your daughter about "good touches" vs. "bad touches" and what areas are private on everyone and therefore not to be touched? I think it's really important to give children this information because if they are sexually abused, without information, they might not have any vocabulary or concept of what has happened to them, so therefore they might not be able to alert you to the situation.
It seems like whenever there's a gray situation like this where it's not clear what's going on, there's a whole tide of posters who fall all over themselves to brush away any concerns of possible sexual abuse. Why is everyone so eager to dismiss the possibility? It happens all the time. I think we all need to be more vigilant. Some biological fathers DO sexually abuse their daughters. So, let's at least admit that it's a possibility even though it's a horrific and tragic possibility.
CoSleeping is not a sign of sexual abuse.....
Here are real signs of sexual abuse, does your daughter exhibit any of these? If not chances are she is not wanting to talk to you about it because you have decided to stop co-sleeping when she didn't want to and now she can get that comfort from her father.
If your daughters attitude and personality has not changed, chances are abuse is not happening. If they have then you have a red flag.http://www.protectkids.com/abuse/
Waking up during the night sweating, screaming or shaking with nightmares.
Showing unusually aggressive behavior toward family members, friends, toys, and pets.
Complaining of pain while urinating or having a bowel movement, or exhibiting symptoms of genital infections such as offensive odors, or symptoms of a sexually transmitted disease.
Having symptoms indicating evidence of physical traumas to the genital or anal area.
Beginning wetting the bed.
Experiencing a loss of appetite or other eating problems, including unexplained gagging.
Showing unusual fear of a certain place or location.
Developing frequent unexplained health problems.
Engaging in persistent sexual play with friends, toys or pets.
Having unexplained periods of panic, which may be flashbacks from the abuse.
Regressing to behaviors too young for the stage of development they already achieved.
Initiating sophisticated sexual behaviors.
Indicating a sudden reluctance to be alone with a certain person.
Engaging in self-mutilations, such as sticking themselves with pins or cutting themselves.
Withdrawing from previously enjoyable activities, like school or school performance change.
Asking an unusual amount of questions about human sexuality.
Children who have been harmed by viewing pornography may be excessively curious about or overly preoccupied with sexuality. Some children expose their genitals to others or engage in a sudden, unusually high level of masturbation.
Age-Inappropriate Sexualized Behavior
Some children may display sexual knowledge and behavior beyond that which is appropriate for their age. According to the American Psychiatric Press, this is one of the few reliable and distinguishing characteristics that identify sexually abused children. Very young children may enact adult sexual scenarios and behaviors in their play with other children or with their dolls and stuffed animals.
Having learned the message that sexual overtures are acceptable ways to get attention and rewards, children may enter into unhealthy relationships, particularly with older, age-inappropriate partners. Additionally, believing the myth generated by pornography that their bodies are for the use of others, young girls may become promiscuous. Children preoccupied with sex may attempt to engage younger children in sexual behavior because younger and smaller children are easier to manipulate and often more cooperative.
Aggressive attempts to undress, sexually touch, or attempt intercourse with others are not uncommon among sexually preoccupied children. When a tendency toward secretive play combines with intense sexual preoccupation, a child may be vulnerable to repeating his or her abuse with other children in ways that can create chaos and further victimization. Such a child requires extensive parental supervision and therapeutic help.ii