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Getting Rid of packrat's Stuff on the Sly - Page 3

post #41 of 51
Upside, it sounds like you're being respectful of the truly sentimental stuff and just tossing the junk, so I think what you are doing is fine.
post #42 of 51
Originally Posted by PapayaVagina View Post
haha! my dh is a packrat inherited from his dad. i find all kinds of crap that he keeps but mostly it's just stuff like water bottles, gum wrappers, and q-tips (I don't know why). I guess it's more of an untidy thing a lot of the times (gets this from both of his parents). But, he also has boxes upon boxes of unopened Star Wars figures in the garage that I would luuuuuurrrrvvvveee to get rid of, but he doesn't want to. He can't play with them, I won't let him display them but he won't get rid of them either. He thinks that he could maybe make some money off of them and wants me to research their serial #s...like I have time
Star Wars figures are never junk. Seriously. Some might be worth something on eBay if they are original 1970's. My husband and I have things like this that are not worth much but we save. What we end up doing is slowly give them to the kids to enjoy and play with. Anything worth anything I eBay or save.
post #43 of 51
post #44 of 51
Originally Posted by wednesday View Post
Hmmm, I agree with this POV, but some of DH's stuff that I have junked was not exactly trash per se. He has accumulated a lot of little novelty items. Unusual decks of playing cards, for example, or little plastic figures, or greeting cards (single ones or boxes). ID cards from jobs he held 20 years ago, old key rings with a single key to god knows what. It's like all the little things that accumulate in a person's top dresser drawer, dumped into a box every time he moved to a new place, and every one of those boxes saved over the last 20 years (and a lot of moves).

I know he doesn't ever think about any of this stuff, and clearly wouldn't miss it. But if he looked at it to try to go through it he wouldn't give up any of it.
Gosh, this sounds so much like my DH. Figurines, tickets to sporting events from YEARS ago, two dozen baseball caps, stuffed animals (he's got a thing for monkeys), bobble heads, goofy wall signs, business cards for people he hasn't spoken to in 10 years, magnets, just CRAP. I can handle the cross stich his sis made framed with the World Series tix from 97. That's memoribilia. Tickets from the Reds game in June 2001? TRASH. JUNK. And there's 10 times more of the latter than the former. I'm so tempted to throw crap out but he'd be so angry. Right now, I just have to contain in his spaces. But I still don't like it and I hate walking through his man lair and seeing all this crap when I go to the laundry room. Heck, I'm sitting amidst it all right now as I type since the computer is in his man lair too. There's a D*MN stuff monkey stairing at me from on top of the file cabinet. AAAAGHHHH!!!
post #45 of 51
I was thinking about this topic last week -- we have an entire (unfurnished) bedroom that is wall to wall with boxes and clutter, that I need to organize and clean up in the next few months, before I get too big with this pregnancy. It is frankly COMPLETELY unfeasible for me to try to involve DH in this in any way. It is not just that it would take 20 times longer. It simply would never get accomplished. I know how he is, he would not be able to spend two minutes in the room without getting sidetracked, or thinking of some other urgent thing he has to do, or getting "sick" and having to go lie down, or [fill in the blank here]. Seriously, getting him to de-clutter is about as easy as giving a cat a bath. I mean maybe you can manage it for a couple minutes, but you're not going to keep the cat in there all day, kwim? Or even for half an hour.

So I put it to DH like this: Would you rather I compel you to spend hours with me going through clutter and saying yay or nay to each individual thing...or would you rather I do it myself and use my judgment, and everything ends up tidy and organized without you having to do anything?

He thought it over, it was clearly hard for him to just give me a greenlight, but he finally acknowledged that in no way does he want to commit many hours to helping me "clean". So he's trusting me instead.
post #46 of 51
With my DH its books books and more books ... everytime I look he has bought another one .. he couldn't possibly read them all and even if he has -- he will not part with them. I have converted a walk in closet in our basement to "HIS LIBRARY" .. yikes .. every time I find a book I put it back down there - much to his annoyance .. but honestly I could walk around our house right now with a laundry basket and fill it to the brim with books that have floated back upstairs or they are newly aquired!!

He also has a habit of cutting things out of the newspapers of interest to him??? that he will never look at again!! ..

He doesn't really collect anything else -- but if he did I would take a picture of the items and then donate them!!
post #47 of 51

I have to confess

I snuck two trash bags to Goodwill when dh was asleep

None of the stuff inside was his. It was kids clothes (outgrown) and some Happy Meal toys that dh insists on saving. I refuse. I will save a certain amount and after that I refuse. Nothing will be missed.
post #48 of 51
I started as a teen with my dad's hoarding by removing a few decades old shirts or old jeans or shoes out of his closet every week or two and put them in the bottom of the trash can when he was at work. Also, tossing receipts and business cards and other things... He NEVER noticed anything.

My dad will rip through an electric shaver in a few weeks to a few moms because he shaves a very course beard twice a day but he SAVES them all. My mom does not make him throw them away.. I do not understand it. Of course, she hoards her own things too I think. I don't even want to see what the house will be like when my parents are gone and we go in to clean it out.

My grandparents (dad's parents) are hoarders too. Well, I don't know if my parents or their parents are TRUE hoarders and are hurt by cleaning. They're not. They're just run of the mill hoarders.

When we cleaned a bit for DH's hoarding mother I secretly tossed SO MUCH stuff... she had no idea. I would just thrust it to the bottom of the trash bag befpre putting in stuff she approved of trashing. And still there are things piled to the ceiling in her trailer and storage.

Now for us...

Neither my DH nor I are hoarders in the true sense, but we're very cluttered. Both of us. And when I want to declutter it's easy to blame him and want to attack his stuff first and ignore MY piles of things he doesn't approve of.

The DIFFERENCE between us is that I will go through my stuff periodically and toss a significant amount. And I don't keep trash like receipts, gum wrappers, etc... lying around.

So I secretly clean as well.

He will have a FIT if he knows I am going through his papers, so I don't tell him I removed old envelopes. I just go thru things to "straighten" them and "dust them" and don't worry, it's all still there kind of thing. I have to be careful not to move piles anywhere else, but I can toss stuff I KNOW needs tossing and he won't notice.

His books are hard to deal with. I know he loves them. I love mine. But I gave up hoarding books for the good of the family! He won't. He did "donate" many books 2 years ago before we moved. I sold hundreds on Half.com and donated the rest. I think we had 1,000 books in our collection and that's on a non-existent book budget. When we moved, we brought maybe 200 total.
post #49 of 51
My DH definitely has packrat tendencies, though he has gotten better over the years about getting rid of stuff. However, he would NEVER do it on his own. Mostly because going thru stuff can be tedious, and he hates to do things like that.

I put his stuff in "limbo" in bags in the garage. Then I give him a month or so to go through it...which he virtually never does. So out it goes.

As I've gotten older, I've gotten stricter about not having a lot of junk around.
post #50 of 51
My dh is like this to a point and I have started doing what you are doing-- I throw out stuff I know he won't miss. So far he hasn't. I put the rest together in boxes and put it on his side of our closet. We have a decent sized closet in our room. I put a shower curtain across it and we clearly have his and her sides now. His side can have whatever he wants to put in there-- it's his business and I don't have to look at it anymore. His stuff was starting to take over my side of the closet slowly (he's sneaky) so I had to go to that extreme to divide it. My side is my office for when I am studying.
post #51 of 51
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