Murphey's Law in Pregnancy

[GinaRae]

As pertaining to what screws up in your personal/family life, what's your story?

Mine? Oh we said we'll hold onto my '97 Caravan until after we pay hubby's car off (maybe $8,000). My van cost us $1,700 in Dec. and Jan. and requires a few thousand more for other fixes. So instead, we'll catch the car sales this fall/winter and get me a new one. I'll sweat it out this summer with no air conditioning if it means I can get a new (or new to me) van later.

The reality: While on a day's vacation at the beach this weekend, the car broke down. Seems the radiator conked out, the fluids mixed and it's a possibility the transmission died because of it. Grand total? $4,000.

No way.

The car has literally ben falling apart on us. Literally! And that $4,000 wouldn't fix the several thousand of OTHER things going on. I think we're literally going to have to walk away from the car and get nothing in returm.

I can't go without a car for long, but luckily my good friend isn't working anymore and will help out. It's just hard cramming all 7 of us (us and our combined 5 kids) into her Durango (they're smaller inside than you would think!)

Hopefully in another month I will have a vehicle. BUT, that means a new car payment of who knows what, and that much less to put into baby stuff.

So, what lemons has life thrown you for this pregnancy?

[*Lindsey*]

Aw, Gina. That stinks!

No real lemons here yet, thank goodness! :

[mittendrin]

Money and car troubles kinda like yours. It's getting old for me : and I am sick and tired of it. Medical bills that are piling mile high and I've given up on paying them cause I will refuse having to think twice if I can afford it to take my kids to the Doc when they are sick. I was born and raised in a place where your health insurance covers your needs, the system here is retarded and stinks to the sky. RANT.
Anyhoo, if I hadn't gotten pregnant chances of us finally moving back to Germany would have been excellent. We would have been able to save up a goooood amount of money with me being able to work and not having to spend money on pregnancy and baby.
It's twisted: Childcare is very cheap, if not for free in some places in Germany. Schools are better, it's safer and the food isn't half as toxic and expensive as here. So technically we'd be better off financially there but now that I can't work anymore and we have a $3400 health insurance deductible plus all the babythings from scratch to buy, we will not be able to start out over there.
AAAARGH!
Wanna hear another one? My mom got diagnosed w cancer pretty much the same time I found out I'm pregnant. She's growing tumors, I'm growing a baby. Good thing about it: She'll be done with chemo and 100% cancer free around the time I'm due with this one. It's weird.

[sorteep]

Oh dear, I'm sorry... we have been thrown some good stuff lately so I ma totally not complaining (the pgcy itself was the biggest curve ball......) I hope you manage with the car thing.. that is tough

[Isaac'sMa]

If I'm gonna share this with anyone, it might as well be you guys Well, I had to go see my MW yesterday b/c I've been having *intense* itching "down there" every time after dh and I DTD. UGH!! She swabbed me and said I have bacterial vaginosis (BV) and that dh and I both have to be treated. My "treatment" is a gel inserted every evening before bed for 5 days (or was it 7? I can't remember now!) GROSS! At least dh gets to take a pill (but it will make him violently ill if he has even a sip of alcohol during his whole 7 day treatment and three days after he's done) Oh yeah, and no sex for a week either while we're "under treatment"! She told me that and I said, "well, good thing we did it last night!" (not that we've been rabbits or anything lately anyway since the aftermath is so uncomfortable...ugh )

I've never had this before and I am NOT pleased. It started while I had a sinus infection that I got from one of my patients...so I guess my immune system was down and out. That's my lemon!

And Gina, bummer about your car...can you donate it and at least get the tax write-off?

ETA: plus i'm annoyed that I have to be on an antibiotic since I haven't been on one since I was twelve. I did NOT want to expose the baby to this.

[yogamama74]

My van is a 1992 Aerostar and it is dying a slow painful death. Transmission, engine, front end, everything is wearing out. It stalls at stop signs. It will cost thousands to fix so we'll just wait til its dead. Which should be soon.

Its the greatest van and I'll miss it when its dead. We cannot afford a car payment right now, but I would love a new van....

I am also having health issues...I am beginning my THIRD sinus infection in 5 months. The last two ended up in bronchitis and I had to take antibiotics. : Which led to thrush afterwards too...and prescriptions for Diflucan.

Oh and my toilet won't flush right and the bathroom tub and sink keep getting clogged because we have 1920's plumbing.

to mittendrin ... your mom being sick must be hard.

[Curlita]

Not a major drama by any means, but just when my husband and I are trying to save all our vacation and sick leave for paternity/maternity leave (half of which will be unpaid for me, best case scenario), our son keeps getting sick and we need to take time off with him... and I haven't quite figured out how we will bankroll the unpaid portion of my leave, since we have little in savings and a lot of debt from the time my husband was out of work in 06.

But my car runs and my crotch is okay, so I'll count my blessings.

[JamesMama]

Lets see...found out I was preggo at the end of Feb...got kicked out of our apartment in March, moved in April...into a crappy apartment where the neighbors are druggies and fight all the time.

Right before that, DH found out that he would require at least 4 lazer surgeries to correct/stop diabetic retanopothy.

Each surgery has required him to take 1, sometimes 3 days off (he has to miss the day of surgery and then 2 days after to recover) so he's burned up every single second of his PTO and has taken 1 surgery with zero PTO so we had to borrow out of savings to cover his paycheck that week...

So we have no savings, and no pto. Lovely....his factory went on shutdown last week so we won't be getting a pay check at ALL for this week.

[crystalalene]

Oh goodness.
I am luckily in good health with no real unbearable symptoms and baby is dancing his/her way around in there. So, I am thanking god for the good things.

And praying about the other stuff:
--DH is cranky due to heat, lack of money, and boredom.
--As you all know, I want to get set up with a mw for a homebirth but she wants $ up front, dh doesn't want to do that, and I'm still battling with ins and dh over it. Haven't told mom yet, esp in case it doesn't happen.
--We have all of our savings sitting in escrow to buy a property that will use all of our credit so we've got no cash right now.
--The town is supposed to give dh a permit to work on an apartment to rent out but that's still not gone through yet.
--We need to redo the bathroom, esp if we do a homebirth, but otherwise because it is gross and I don't want to bathe a baby in there. DH has been putting it off for almost three years and now, of course, there's no money.
--We got rid of my car this spring to lighten the load/get rid of the payment but it doesn't seem to have made much difference except that I can only drive if dh doesn't need his truck (which is getting harder and harder to get in and out of as the floor of it is at my waist).
--DH and his dad are in the middle of a silent treatment that may go on for ??? long (and FIL is supposed to help us finance property so it could cause that deal to die anyway).
--My brother is on his way to the gulf coast for active duty (his first station) for at least six months.
--School taxes are due end of August. Furniture payment is also due then.
And the small stuff:
--I have to get two cavities filled Thursday.
--I'm trying to get ready for a yard sale Saturday.

Whew. That makes me feel better.

[GinaRae]

Originally Posted by Curlita

But my car runs and my crotch is okay, so I'll count my blessings.

:

[GinaRae]

Gosh Renae, I should stop complaining!

I had come in to complain more and now I am having second thoughts. But if I leave, I will not have the venting and that can only be bad as I am in a foul mood already, right?

I had a bunch of extra play money coming in each month last fall. Money that I convinced hubby would pay for a MW and baby stuff. Money that has since dried up and blown away. *sigh*

[Googy]

I'm just so sorry that everyone is having such a hard time, and I'm glad that we all have the great group of mamas on this board to vent to!

[veganjoy]

to all of you.

Things will be okay, but we just have a lot going on right now:
In 2 1/2 weeks, we are moving across the country. There, neither DH or I will have jobs (he just finished school, and I'm working on a project I won't receive royalties from for another year). We don't have housing, and I'm not sure what we'll do on arrival. Living in a moving truck with our two cats appears to be more of a possibility these days! Particularly since our only vehicle might not make it for the duration of the journey. We won't have health care either, and I need to figure out how to find/pay for a midwife.

I know DH will find something, as he's educated in a fairly lucrative field and incredibly good at it. The waiting is just difficult, and everything feels more tenuous when you're pregnant!

[GinaRae]

Not quite exactly the same, but we moved across the country a year ago in April and we were walking a really thin line as far as housing, finances, cars making it, etc.. It was tough. So worth it, but tough. Doing it preggers?? I dunno! I'm here for ya!!

[Kontessa]

Oh you poor mama ((((Hugs)))) Well aside from getting pregnant while hubby was on leave from iraq and then them extending him so he will miss the birth and first few months....

Really though, in the last month, if it can go wrong, it has. Nothing seems to ever go as planned this past month. I am now scared of everything. LOL Specially driving while I know friends are busy and could not come get me.

Speaking of going wrong. I can not send this as I write it as my power just went out. I will save it and copy and paste when ever it comes back on. Thankfully I am on my laptop. I should get candles going though in case kids get up worried. And why does it have to be so hot right now? LOL :

[ComfyCozy]

Well the $2000 of work on our cars a month ago wasn't helpful... but I'd say the worst is that my relationship with my mother has totally bottomed out over our plans to have a homebirth and what we've chosen to name the baby. Her behavior towards me has been so reprehensible I've just had to quit speaking to her for the time being. I just can't trust that she won't ruin my next several weeks anytime I speak to her. It's a shame because we used to talk daily.

[dcgrl]

Nothing so dramatic as what you all have going on, but...

We closed on our house at the end of February, and found out we were pregnant 4 weeks later. Surprise! (good thing the house has an extra bedroom!) Probably would have bought a cheaper house if we knew a baby was coming...

Found out I have no maternity benefits, except for my PTO and the typical (unpaid) FMLA.

My parents live 900 miles away (actually, we have no family closer than 400 miles away), and I'd really love them to be down the street to help ease our impending childcare issues.

oh, and mounds of debt, which husband likes to tell me about at midnight as we're drifting off to sleep.

Things are mostly good, though. We're so excited, even though the baby was unexpected. We love where we live and we can't wait to share it with the boy...

(VeganJoy, husband and I moved across country (North to South) 2 years ago, with no jobs, no prospects, little savings, and it was the best thing we could have done. Good luck! (can I ask where you're headed?)

[Isaac'sMa]

okay, I'm feeling bad now for complaining about my itchy crotch!

[veganjoy]

Originally Posted by dcgrl

(VeganJoy, husband and I moved across country (North to South) 2 years ago, with no jobs, no prospects, little savings, and it was the best thing we could have done. Good luck! (can I ask where you're headed?)

I'm so glad you said this. We've been in Colorado for several years while my husband attended law school, and will be returning to Los Angeles, where we're both from.

Originally Posted by Isaac'sMa

okay, I'm feeling bad now for complaining about my itchy crotch!

I can handle moving while pregnant, unemployment, homelessness, and all manner of challenges. But honestly, I think "itchy crotch" is beyond my capacity

[GinaRae]

Originally Posted by Isaac'sMa

okay, I'm feeling bad now for complaining about my itchy crotch!

We grew our crotch and we do fantastical things with our crotches. We deserve the right to complain about itchy ones!!! No apologies.

Originally Posted by ComfyCozy

the worst is that my relationship with my mother has totally bottomed out over our plans to have a homebirth and what we've chosen to name the baby. Her behavior towards me has been so reprehensible I've just had to quit speaking to her for the time being. I just can't trust that she won't ruin my next several weeks anytime I speak to her. It's a shame because we used to talk daily.

I hear ya! Ever since mom and I had a blow up about 18 months ago and didn't talk for a while, it's been a strained thing. Always a pink elephant in the room and I don't feel I can tell her what I think anymore. I feel your pain.

Originally Posted by dcgrl

oh, and mounds of debt, which husband likes to tell me about at midnight as we're drifting off to sleep.

Wow. Great timing! It must be when his consciousness allows it to dwell on his mind too.