*Pregnant after a loss (PAL) July thread*

[jillybeans]

There is a pregnancy after a loss thread in the loss forum, but I can't hang out there because most of the moms are due around the same time Riley was. Are there any moms here that are pregnant after a loss or two?

We lost dd's twin in march of 05, then had a chemical in January this year. We were told we'd lose the baby we got pregnant with in March right away, but we didn't. I did end up losing Riley, but for different reasons. So I've had three losses total, out of three pregnancies(not counting this one) and one living child. I'm really hoping that this one will be ok. We have infertility issues on top of the miscarriages, so it's that much of a struggle to have a baby.

I thought it would be nice to talk out some of the fears we all have, especially this trimester.

[Eman'smom]

I was thinking about posting a thread like this. I've only had one loss, but it really shakes you to the core.

This baby was very planned and very wanted but it's hard to get super excited. I'm still very newly pregnant, and I'm very aware of what can happen.


For now I'm just taking it one day at at time, I'm pregnant today, I'll worry about tomorrow then KWIM? If I think too far ahead I just get freaked out.


Lets all think sticky thoughts

[Jes'sBeth]

We had 2 losses on the way to Annie and I had a very early loss in Jan. It certainly makes you more hesitant doesn't it.

[Romana]

I have a similar story to you, OP. I had 3 m/c, one of which was twins (I consider it two m/c because the two babies m/c more than a month apart). I had a chemical pg only a couple of months before getting pg with dd. I spent that entire pregnancy not bonding and not being excited because I just couldn't bear the thought of losing another baby. Of course, everything was wonderful and we have dd now.

We also have fertility issues. It took 9 mos to ttc dd and 8 mos for this pregnancy. I would be devastated by another loss, both because of losing the baby and because it takes so, so long to conceive.

This time, though, having a child already . . . I find that I *can't* not bond. It just happens. I'm so thrilled to be pregnant again that I can't turn it off. I already bought a couple of sweet newborn outfits at a garage sale. I don't know what to do except hope for the best and keep the pregnancy private from most people until we feel comfortable we've made it through the scariest part.



Julia

[jillybeans]

glad to know I'm not alone!

[milky_mama]

Lots of hugs to you mamas!!

[doulanichole]

As someone who has also had trouble getting pregnant (about half the time it seems) and staying pregnant (2 m/c's, blighted ovum, many chemical pg's), it can often be a long road. It is hard to decide how much to do while pg after a loss/many losses including HCG levels, u/s's, etc. Trying hard to enjoy each day and not wish away the weeks so that I can feel more secure.

[sophiemalone]

Thanks for starting this because I am right there with you. After a m/c this past Feb with twins, it is taking a lot of mental energy to stay positive with this one. I don't want to go to the midwives yet and get into the blood testing, hcg multiplying thing - I just can't go there yet. I am saying no! to my anxiety and fears right now and trying to just live and be grateful.

Sophiemalone

[sarahtar]

I am also pregnant after a loss about 3 months ago. Kind of hard to really get into this pregnancy for the time being. My coping method? Trying not to think about it.

[Isaacs_mom]

I lost my first pregnancy and then had Isaac .. so i am with you .. i know how you feel and wanted to give to all of us on this thread.. think good thoughts for lots of sticky baby dust **********

[alisaparrent]

After losing our baby in March, we are now pregnant again. I couldn't be more excited, but there is still that lingering fear and doubt. I know exactly how yall feel.

We haven't even told anyone yet and I'm almost 7 weeks. My husband and I were talking about it and even if I was to MC again, I would want my family to know, so that they would be there to support me. So, we are telling them soon, but I also want to be positive about this pregnancy and bond, because this is our baby and will always be whether we MC or not.

After our MC I kept telling everyone that once we get pregnant again, I would be a freak about checking blood and US's, but now that I'm pregnant I just don't want to. Anyone else feel this way? Maybe out of fear?

Hugs to you all and remember to talk to your little one, they hear us~
Alisa

[doulanichole]

I definitely don't want to do hcg levels again. The u/s is a little harder for me to resist as it was so disappointing for me to think I was pregnant and then find out it was a blighted ovum. I KNOW that an u/s certainly won't guarantee a positive outcome, but it is something that is on my mind (although I would wait so that I wouldn't have a vag u/s).

Not really feeling a need for more reassurance right now....I think that's a good thing.

[Romana]

I'm not sure what bloodwork will be done at my six week visit. I'm not going to ask for or refuse bloodwork, but I would like to know my progesterone since that's a known problem for me.

I know my doctor doesn't do more than one u/s - just the 20w one. I am not going to ask for one, but part of me just wants one. I want to see a heartbeat and feel secure. But I also don't want to unnecessarily expose the baby to u/s. So I'm trying to just take it day by day, enjoy what we have, and hope for the best.

It's just hard.

[jillybeans]

With Riley we did all the tests. My hcg were as follows: 14dpo(then every other day 50, 72, 149, 300, then they went to normal from there. They told me I was miscarrying. I didn't until weeks and weeks later. So no, we aren't doing anything other than the progesterone test this time(because I have such low progesterone) We'll do an u/s at 7 weeks, then decide if we want another one later.

[a-sorta-fairytale]

Hi
I am just peeking my head in here. I had a homebirth turned cs transfer in 2004.
I had a mc sept 05 @12 weeks.
I have had secondary infertility ever since.
After 20 months ttc including iui clomid and being told we had a 1% chance of getting pg on our own i finally got a BFP this morning.

I am TERRIFIED. I just want everything to be normal. I just want a healthy baby to grow in my uterus and come out my vagina and be healthy. Thats it.

I got a hcg and prog today and will get it again on friday. And i will be getting a early u/s. I would never have imagined myself going this "medical" route but i was traumatized by the mc and infertility. I was really sad that i didnt have a u/s pic of the baby we lost. I think i may eventually stop hyperventilating when i get to 13 weeks.

Thanks for letting me crash the thread

[jillybeans]

You're not crashing the thread! Maybe we should do a monthly P.A.L thread for all of us to sort out our fears.

[a-sorta-fairytale]

i would be up for a monthly pal thread

[jillybeans]

how is everyone doing? I'm getting much better about not comparing this pregnancy with my last two. My progesterone levels are iffy, but my lines keep getting darker (yup, still testing lol!) and m/s has kicked in, which is completely new for me. My last three pregnancies, even the one with dd and her twin, I never had m/s at all. It's very reassuring. I've started making plans for this baby, instead of missing Riley, and thinking about how far along I'd be, etc. It's becoming more real.

[ameliabedelia]

to everyone. I had a loss in Dec 03. Got prengant with dd2 in 02/04, and then it took several months of TTC to get pregnant this time. It is really hard. I find myself really cautious right now, and super aware of the fact that a BFP doesn't necessarily mean a baby. Everytime I go pee..I wipe "cautiously" and pray I don't see blood. I also find myself freaking out over symptoms. As annoying as the sore nipples and breasts, tiredness, sensitivity to smells and having to pee a lot are...I am SO THANKFUL to have them. THey tend to come and go however, so if my breasts/nipples are less sore, I find myself worried.

We haven't told anyone except my parents..and are trying to wait until I am further along to tell.

[Eman'smom]

ASF glad you are joining us.


I have my good moments and bad moments, my boobs hurt. If they are really hurting I feel good, if they aren't huring as much I get worried. I am still temping, so there is a little fear in the morning, but it's something I need to do, I feel like I'm at least monitoring this so I won't be blindsided.

I've held off getting blood work done, and I think I'm going to. I go see our hospital midwife in a few weeks and am hoping for an ultrasound then, we'll see maybe I'll feel differently when I get there.


For now half of me wants to enjoy every second and the other half can't breath until I feel the baby move.