Family members always asking...

[dot2dot]

...are you pregnant? What do you say? My mom asks this every couple months and just did this morning. Actually, her specific question is usually, "You're not pregnant, are you?" I think I am a couple days post o and TTC although she doesn't know that. I laughed and told her no and asked why... my usual response. Anyway, now I am feeling all guilty. What if I am (almost) pregnant and by saying no I am denying my baby? Is it now a self-fulfilling prophecy that I won't be? I think I am : Stupid question and thinking on my part, I know.

So what do you say to family/friends who ask when you don't really want them knowing everything (or anything if that is the case)?

[quirkylayne]

I just say "soon" and I don't define what that means. Gotta keep 'em guessing

[g&a]

I used to say "not that I know of! hahaha"
'Cause, really, you don't know, right!
And when people would ask when we were having another kid I would say "I'm not sure" or "someday" or something equally as vague. It's when they tell you you really should start soon so they aren't so far spaced, and you're not getting any younger etc. that I don't know what to say (we TTC'd for 10 months, and I was a little sensitive about it). I acted pretend offended and said something like " Get off my case already! haha" That usually made them stop.

I know what you mean, you don't want to lie, but don't want to tell your life story either.

Good Luck, I hope it works out for you this cycle.
g.

[Ruthla]

How about "why are you asking?" or "Isn't that kind of a personal question?" or "Have you been having regular bowel movements lately?" If she wants to ask a personal question, ask her one as well!

[shelbean91]

'I don't know, we're doing it 10 times a day, what more can we do?????' maybe she'll stop asking.

[dot2dot]

Thanks for the replies, I am glad I am not the only one with nosy people around! I do like the "not that I know of" answer. If I need to answer again I think I will follow it up with "Why, are you?" (Mom has been single for years now) just for fun. Here's to hoping I won't need to for a while though!

[Nightsky]

Like Ruthla, I generally tell people that's a personal question. For the really thick-headed people I inform them they are asking a question regarding my personal reproductive health and choices, do they want to continue down that pathway? If they still don't get it, I will share my personal history of puberty to womanhood. Complete with lovely cycle details and everything in between. (I've had to scare my parents with that one...they stopped asking me now : )

dot2dot, your mother sounds as if she is wishing for grandchildren, and asking you way too frequently for comfort. Inform her that it is making you feel uncomfortably pressured by asking you if you are pregnant yet. I would let her know she would be the first to know if you become pregnant. That you would not hide that from her, or deny her the mother-daughter bond that a pregnancy can bring. That's just my suggestion, goodluck with your mother, and conceiving!

[mama2zoe]

Well, I don't think you're "denying" your possible baby if you don't even know whether or not you're pregnant. It seems like your mom is just thinking that you might be ttc and curious to know if a grandbaby is on the way. Since it doesn't seem from your post that you mind her knowing if you DO become pregnant I'd probably say something like "Don't worry mom, you'd be the first to know after dh and me." and leave it at that.

[oceane]

don't worry about the self-fulfilling prophecy. After all you don't know and therefore no is the right answer! : Also, you might not want her to ask you even more often, so don't tell her you're TTC if you're not up for that I guess. Parents are like that...

[famille_huggins]

Originally Posted by dot2dot

Thanks for the replies, I am glad I am not the only one with nosy people around! I do like the "not that I know of" answer. If I need to answer again I think I will follow it up with "Why, are you?" (Mom has been single for years now) just for fun. Here's to hoping I won't need to for a while though!

Hahaha -- I LOVE this response, and intend to use it as my own! We are ttc again, but after back to back losses, I really want to hold my cards close this time.

[Gr8ful Momma]

Originally Posted by dot2dot

...are you pregnant? What do you say? My mom asks this every couple months and just did this morning. Actually, her specific question is usually, "You're not pregnant, are you?" I think I am a couple days post o and TTC although she doesn't know that. I laughed and told her no and asked why... my usual response. Anyway, now I am feeling all guilty. What if I am (almost) pregnant and by saying no I am denying my baby? Is it now a self-fulfilling prophecy that I won't be? I think I am : Stupid question and thinking on my part, I know.

So what do you say to family/friends who ask when you don't really want them knowing everything (or anything if that is the case)?

I get that same scenario all of the time. I feel that it is a very invasive question and that it shouldn't ever be asked. I do not feel that you are denying your potential baby but denying someone privileged information.

I usually don't even answer and just move on like they never said anything.

[rametteperegrine]

My mother is horrid with this. I generally tell her to mind her own business but I think I'll switch to the regular BM reply now!