Would You Do This?

[bdavis337]

OoooooKkkkkkkk. I'm CONSIDERING something I never thought I'd consider. After watching how totally inept my mil was with my kids this afternoon, I'm really worried about MY folks being out of town after next Tuesday. We have a few friends who would be willing to let Timothy stay with them for a day or so, but nobody willing to take Mark (go figure). My OB apt was supposed to be next week, but they called and asked me to come in tomorrow instead, and as I would have been 2 1/2 weeks between appts otherwise, I agreed.

Now I find myself thinking about asking her to strip my membranes. I know it's an invasive procedure, not natural induction and I know we've had threads about this recently here as well. I'm having pretty decent cramps today, a little bit of mucus-y whatever, and the baby has dropped in position considerably. I'm due offically on the 22nd, and there is no question whatsoever about my dates.

Am I just being silly? Should I even be entertaining these thoughts? Aside from it being painful and potentially a source of infection, are there higher medical intervention rates with this sort of "help"?

[luckydog]

Bethany, one of the biggest risks here is that it could cause your membranes to rupture, which of course puts you on the clock - and if your body isn't actually READY for labor, you could indeed be setting yourself up for a cascade of intervention. I don't know how common this is, but it's something to consider.

To that end, before I'd agree to it personally, I'd want to know my Bishop's Score so I'd know what my odds are of a full scale induction even being successful if my membranes ruptured as a result of the stretch and sweep. (The higher your score, the greater your odds of successful induction.)

[bdavis337]

Hmmmm, ok I've never seen that before, thanks. I also don't know what the potential complications are from having membranes stripped, so knowing that helps me make my decision.

My house is a disaster right now. Mark hasn't slept properly in almost a month, so he spends literally the entire day whining and crying. He's short nearly 2 1/2 hours each night, and it's just creating a major problem. He can't function, he cries all day long and I can't do anything to get him to sleep, he just lays in his crib and cries and cries when it should be naptime.

Timothy is bored to tears with summer vacation, and mopes around moaning about being bored and not allowed to "do anything fun". Last time my MIL watched the kids (for a whole hour) I came home to a disaster. They'd eaten their snack on the living room floor and crackers, cups and all sorts of crap were strewn everywhere. She was sitting on the couch, watching tv with them, and hadn't made any attempt to clean up. Mark had woken from his nap while she was there, and she didn't change his diaper when he got up, even though I put him in sposies for her. His shorts were soaked through, and he was whining and fussing and she said "I can't figure out why he's so unhappy". ALL the toys were out on the floor, with nowhere to walk. It was really like something my sister has described in her volunteer family crisis work.

So Tom and I are very concerned about what we're going to do if we need to ask her to help us out for more than a few hours, or god forbid a whole entire day. He'd have to spend absolute minimum time at the hospital with me, which is fine with me (I like my privacy in that time right after Baby arrives!) but I don't want my household in chaos when I arrive home with a new baby. Mark is having a really hard time right now for whatever reasons (he had a dr. visit not a week ago, and the pedi assured me he's totally healthy, no more asthma problems, etc) and I just can't imagine bringing a brand new baby into this type of stress, with my MIL standing over my shoulder asking "how are you feeeeeeeeeeeling?".

It's really starting to concern me.

[newmommaamy]

Even though it isn't an ideal situation, your MIL raised your DH and will probably be just fine left alone with the kids for a day. Sometimes knowing that no one is coming back in an hour to rescue you makes you do a better job- maybe she will react that way.

Or, if the chaos is the thing you are most worried about maybe you can send your DH home to clean up a few hours before he brings you and baby home.

Whatever happens I hope Mark gets some sleep so that you can get some peace.

[bdavis337]

Sadly, this isn't the case with my mil. She really is incapable. But that's not worth going into here. My biggest concern is how the major upheaval created by her "in charge" at my house will effect my homecoming with the baby. '

Thankfully, MT is asleep and I just put T down. In about 20 minutes I'm going to put my sneakers on and go out and walk around the quad. We live in a housing association, and I can walk around our little area and keep sight of my front door at all times. I'm going to walk for about 30 minutes and see if that moves these cramps from "unpleasant and icky feeling" to "contraction status".

[bdavis337]

Well, I didn't do it.

When she finally did locate my cervix, my OB said "well...........I hope you weren't expecting to be dilated or effaced, b/c you're neither. And your baby is still posterior, and not even in the birth canal yet". Well.

[luckydog]

Bethany. But misery loves company - at least I'm not the ONLY 38 weeker with a super-comfy baby in there.

Jakey is also completely posterior at the moment (which is kind of fun, because I get lots of interesting movement when I give him a poke or 12 hehe).

[2much2luv]

Hang in there.

[phathui5]

Bethany- Kick her out. No one who isn't legitimately helpful and contributing positive things to your mental health should be around after you have your baby.

Hire a teenager to come play with the kids if you have to, but get her out if she isn't actually helpful.

[Dreamer]

Originally Posted by bdavis337

Well, I didn't do it.

When she finally did locate my cervix, my OB said "well...........I hope you weren't expecting to be dilated or effaced, b/c you're neither. And your baby is still posterior, and not even in the birth canal yet". Well.

Don't feel bad Bethany, my boy is the same way!! I was really hoping he was at least engaged or something at my 37wk appt on Tuesday--had been getting lots of 'Oh, you've DROPPED!' comments from random strangers so I figured *surely*...

Nope. He was still high and posterior (although I do believe last night I felt a shoulder twist across my lower abdomen and he sorta turned around to the correct position)... but of course, there is plenty of time to turn around again (and it's his usual 'thing' to turn around for a couple days, then go posterior again)... *sigh*

I just hope he decides to get out on a day when he's already facing correctly!

Good luck with the MIL situation... no words for ya there!!

Alayna

[bdavis337]

Originally Posted by phathui5

Bethany- Kick her out. No one who isn't legitimately helpful and contributing positive things to your mental health should be around after you have your baby.

Hire a teenager to come play with the kids if you have to, but get her out if she isn't actually helpful.

The situation here really doesn't warrant something quite that drastic. Yes, she drives me crazy, she overly religious, annoying and overall just a very "different" person. But she's not detrimental to my mental health. She's not attending any part of the labor and delivery (although she's made it quite clear she wants to, I*I have made it clear that she's not!), and she dearly loves her grandchildren, and they love her. She simply lacks maternal instinct or skill. My husband survived to adulthood despite her parenting skills. : She's good for things like "I'm going to the grocery store, would you like me to pick up a gallon of milk?" or "I'll take your oldest to church with me this morning if you'd like", that sort of thing. My concern arises when we're talking about leaving her alone with the children, b/c she's just not capable. And unforunately, she's just about the only person I know willing to stay overnight with my toddler.

[bdavis337]

Originally Posted by luckydog

Bethany. But misery loves company - at least I'm not the ONLY 38 weeker with a super-comfy baby in there.

Jakey is also completely posterior at the moment (which is kind of fun, because I get lots of interesting movement when I give him a poke or 12 hehe).

See, Baby Boy just isnt' moving much at all lately, and I had myself convinced he wasn't posterior anymore. Maybe he's just squished. His HB was 138 at the OB's today, and he kicked her a few times while she measured me, so she wasn't concerned about his movement.