undecided about whether to have more babies - letting nature decided?

[kathymuggle]

I have 3 children - conceived easily. Ages: 11,8,4

I am thinking of having a fourth - but I am really undecided! Actually, the whole decision thing is driving me a bit :

I am toying with the idea of letting nature/the universe decide if we should have another child. To do this, I would like to know how fertile I am, statistically. If I am still just as fertile as I was when I was 24, then going off BC is not letting nature decide, it is ttc, kwim?

My info:

-I am 35
-I am overweight
-I have just recently started to become irregular. (my periods are now 45 days apart instead of 30: , this has caused a lot of POAS!!!). I have no idea what is causing this. PCOS, perimenipause, or is this sudden irregualrity normal?
-I am not usre if I am Ovulating - my O mucous has dwindled (but is still there, just not as much of it)

Any thoughts or even links would be much appreciated on trying to figure out how fertile I am would be appreciated!

TIA

KAthy

[MeepyCat]

I tend to think that it's a bad idea to let fate decide on big issues. If you want another child, you should have one. If you don't, you shouldn't. If you're really undecided, you should seek clarity before moving forward.

Statistically speaking, you are almost certainly less fertile now than you were when you were twenty-four, but there's no saying how much less fertile. You'd need a full (invasive, expensive) fertility workup to figure that out. Charting for a few cycles would give you some information, but charting while on hormonal birth control is useless, so if you're on that, you'd have to go off. Chance being what it is, you could be borderline infertile and still luck out on the first try.

[kathymuggle]

Well, I would be happy (ecstatic) if I got pregnant -and see it as a blessing. But I would be OK with it if my family were done - seeking clarity has gotten me nowhere so far (and I have been struggling with this issue for about 1 yr )

Kathy

[MaryLang]

Letting "nature" decide has been the best thing we have done with our three. Three years of infertility and then 3 in 3 years .Although due to medical problems we have been TTA for over a year. We are trying to decide now whether to leave it up to fate again or not. I don't think we'll ever TTC per-say but just throw the charts away. If it were me I'd go for it and just see what happens. Your already irregular, you might get pregnant right away, or you might get a surprise a few months/years down the road. Sounds like fun to me. Anyways what a personal decision for me to be rambeling on about.

[mama2zoe]

We're doing the same thing. I've been agonizing since dd was born about whether or not to have another and we've finally decided to not use bc and (try) not to pay attention to fertile signs. Our situation is a bit different because it took two years to get pg with dd and, honestly, I really can't face ttc again - too heartbreaking. OTOH, I don't want to not have another and regret not taking advantage of my (possibly) fertile years. I'm 38 and with my history I'm not even sure if this will even happen for us.

At 35, even if you're overweight, I would still bet that you're fertile. Even if you're noticing changes in your cycle you could be (and probably are) years away from your last ovulation. A simple blood test would let you know if you're heading into menopause. But I love the idea of NOT knowing and just having lovely sex without any worries! Happy if you do get pg and okay with it if you don't.

Good luck with whatever you decide!