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Originally Posted by chrysalis  i'm feeling REALLY scared as to all the choices i have now as to where i can go.......its harder when i'm not being physically abused...i get worried people will minimize the effects of 'just' emotional/verbal abuse.
i also do not have my own car or money...mamas on the single forum said i should probably stay away from my mom too as she trained me up in going w/ guys like this and its true if i really think about it...its so true. she is a LOT like them. she hasn't even called me since i hung up on her. how DARE she blame this on pg hormones. her way of minimizing the situation in HER mind to keep me here so i don't 'struggle'? doesn't she think i'm struggling now? she thinks i overeact. i'm NOT. she uses a lot against me. whatever. god this is so scary.
tom didn't show up til like 10ish last night. megh and i were in bed watching a movie and i told her not to say anything to him (maybe that is wrong but i didn't want her saying 'get out of here tom...' like she's done before. i dind't want it to start anything w/ him) and she says 'what took you so long to get up here' and he says all friendly, 'i made a peanut butter sandwich. i was hungry...' and that was that. i didn't look at him ONCE. i kept my back to him and held megh...acted like i was really sleepy. i slept like crap last night.
i looked up emotional/verbal abuse to help myself really get that i am/we are being abused in this way...it helped to affirm this...and that it CAN get worse. he has had his moments where it was real bad...REAL bad...
now i have to get past this 'stuck in the muck' feeling i have...its like my feet are lead and i don't know where to go next. i don't want to go to a shelter around here...ugh. i still can't believe my mother. maybe it was cuz her boyfriend was around and she didn't want to talk to me then and was panicked...still she treated me awful. she is my own family money source. i just don't know what to do...i feel VERY let down by her. it is making me feel very depressed too.
but i know i can go ANYWHERE i want to. i just have to trust the universe i will be provided for and we will be ok...that we WILL get out of here by nov so i can have this baby elsewhere...ok so where is the question...if central oregon is out then where would i want to be...or who would i want to be by...hmmmmmmmmm.
i do not like that my MW wants to meet tom. at this point i think his part in this is irrelevant.
i just wrote my ex step dad who is a very peace loving man (he makes rainbows even worldwide for peace/love) and asked for money help. we shall see...i still would prefer central oregon...
i'm feeling so alone today. so scattered about money...how will i get out...how will i do this...where can i get the money for a uhaul truck...etc. hmmm what could i sell.
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the things that jump out at me from your posts are the similarities to a relationship I had that ended in stalking and insanity for years until I moved away. I found out this guy had done this to every woman he ever dated. Because he was a good time charlie everyone looked the other way and ignored his abusive behavior until he escalated to beating a woman up in public.
The verbal abuse, domination and with-holding with regard to money, isolation, all that comes first.
The rages and the throwing things, yelling, the christmas tree out the front door thing, that's next.
Violence is the next step.
You are doing the right thing in making plans to leave. If your mother isn't supportive, do it without her. Only you know what is right for your babies.
, Lisbeth. I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time, Mama.
