Bad news friends, and how to get rid of em??

[flutterbylvr]

My dd1 has just made a new friend and I love her. Unfortunatly though, she has the one she calls her best friend. This girl does undesirable acts, she is disrespectful, and her parents are more than less to be desired. Anyways DD wants for new friend and best friend to meet and for them to be the 3 musketeers, but old friend doesnt ever want to come over to play. In fact she will tell dd that I will be over in a little bit, and then never comes over. Since summer has started this has happened twice or three times a week. The only time this girl came over to ask dd to play was when it was her birthday party and I am soooo convinced it was so she would get a present out of us, I am very negative about this situation, sorry.

Now that you know the situation a little here is my question. How, in any way, if any, can I help my dd to come to terms with this. She is so innocent about the whole thing she keeps on making excuses, oh she was busy, she had church, she........ I would really like for her to accept that this girl is prob bad news and all she is going to do is use her, and treat her poorly. I know she needs to learn this on her own, but it makes her sad and she is upset that they are 'best friends' but the girl never wants to play.

I am just trying to divert her attention with the new friend. Is that all I should do besides listen????????

[Susana]

I would say yes, divert her attention to the new friend as much as you can and definitely be there to listen and also be available to do things with your dd when she's feeling hurt. My dd (almost 14) and I have been going thru all kinds of friend-related things and I have seen dd get hurt lots. I try to make it better, but really, I have found the best thing i can do for her is to listen and also let her choose what *she* wants to do...It's been hard to get to this place, I have to remind myself dd is a smart and nice girl...if she wants to hang with a particular person they must all right to an extent if dd likes them.

Now, when dd would get her feelings hurt, I would give her some space and wait for her to come to me, which she always did. We'd go get something like Starbucks or an ice cream cone and she's always end up confiding in me her feelings. I can't tell you how valuable those talks have been. One thing I have learned is not to criticize the friend we're talking about because that really seemed to hurt my dd's feelings. I understand that, although it's hard to keep my mouth shut sometimes...

I'm sorry your dd is going through all that. It blows, for sure. Hope I've helped if even just a little!
best of luck!!