Birth Position

[Beppie]

I met with a new doctor today (trying to find one I like, although there's not much choice out here in rural Minnesota). She's with a hospital that has a low cesarean rate, which I'm happy about. But...

One question for her was about birth position. I would like to be able to birth stooping, or some other position rather than on my back (my first dd I was on my back and had an episiotomy---I'd like to avoid that this time).

But she said, she would rather have her patients on their back, because it gives her control over the baby's head...

I felt disappointed. Is it worth it trying to look for someone else because of this? Or is it just so standard, it's no use trying to find another doctor who agrees with me? I'm having trouble finding ANY midwives within 2 hours of where I live, which is really sad

[courtenay_e]

um, yeah...I wouldn't want anybody messing with my baby's head when it was being born, but that could be because I'm traumatized over and over by watching ruthless docs "guide" a baby out by yanking it up and down or side to side. I know that NOT all practitioners do that...but I'm more of a hands off type anyway...so that would make me really nervous. I know that there are midwives who travel. Perhaps looking into that would help?

[DoulaClara]

I agree- a mother knows the right way to birth her baby. A baby also has his/her own little rotational dance that they need to do upon exit. No one takes that doctor by the head and forcefully moves her about when she's trying to vomit or breathe or any other natural function of the body.

I would suggest that if you really are running low on choices, and you're attached to this place (low C-section rates are pretty hard to find in certain areas) I would approach the doctor with- "I understand that you prefer women on their backs. I birth much better when I am in control of my own position and want to discuss with you some ways that we both can be certain that the baby is delivered safely and securely." Then go on to offer possible alternatives- such as placing chux pads in the middle of the bed, and possibly having pillows at the edge of the bed, and really only placing hands on the baby as it is being born to guide it to the bed.

The language used when approaching a doctor is so important- asking, "Can I XXX" makes their preferences the priority. When it really shouldn't be! Hope this helps.

Clara

[SublimeBirthGirl]

I would never, ever, ever use a doctor who had that philosophy. It is fundamentally opposed to everything I believe about birth. If you can find no homebirth midwives, it would, IMO, be worth a 2 hour drive to have an HCP who believes birth is about the woman and baby working together and not about her own convenience and preferences.

[DoomaYula]

I found a few midwives within 3h that were willing to travel out to me. Is that a possibility?

But yeah, mentioning "control" is a big red flag for me.

[adtake]

What about on all fours ..she would have access to baby's head and you could rock?? How I had #3 and LOVED it!!

GOOD LUCK!!

[Nan'sMom]

She sounds ignorant. You are the one birthing the baby, not her. You don't want her messing with the head or trying to force you into non-optimal birthing positions--most women find that on their backs is not an optimal position and it can cause problems and a less safe birth for mom and baby. I'd try to find someone else for sure!

[JessicaE]

I agree with the others, this would be a deal-breaker for me. I'd keep looking.

[birthgreeter]

as a 'use to be' labor and delivery nurse in a hospital, and birthing center....who worked with doctors... prior to becoming a midwife....
It IS a control thing ---for them having THEIR way.
Most doctors have no experience with birthing women in any other position. I asked some of them that very question once, and they told me----we were told to use this position and when to cut.
If you want to stay with her, Tell her-dont ask- that you will be moving about in your labor. If that is not ok with her, then I would home birth.
You have freedom in the home!
Blessings to you!

[mendomidwife]

I would look elsewhere.....
I do homebirths and I always ask women WHERE they want to birth (in their house)....most choose their bedroom, but some the kitchen, some the bathtub.
I think they instinctually find a place that's right for them.....and a position.
It's not HER birth, it's YOURS.....it isn't about what is easiest for her. She is your guide. She might be surprised at this news......but it's true.

Carla

[doctorjen]

I'd be nervous about this provider feeling she has to have "control" over the baby's head. I only attend hospital births, but most of my clients birth squatting, kneeling, all fours, or standing. Those who birth lying down do so either because of their own choice, or exceptionally rarely because they need an instrumented delivery. On the one hand, hospital based providers may just be inexperienced with more normal birth positions and just need to gain experience. When I first finished training and went out on my own, I had to learn how to keep my hands to myself and to feel comfortable with birthing women having control. You might have the chance to help a provider along that learning path. On the other hand, you might want to not be the very first upright woman a provider has ever seen, especially if they are actively disapproving at the same time!

[MsElle07]

I would be wary. I think the fact that you asked ahead of time and she said no is a an enormous red flag. It seems like often providers will promise the moon during the pregnancy, and then not follow through during the birth. But with someone who says up front, "No, you can't choose your own position because I need control" is not a good sign at all.

[mandib50]

i'd be worried too that the control issue would extend past the pushing position. i had a midwife 2 1/2 hours away from me and i drove to see her for my visits and she came to my home for my births. she doesn't do that now but she does have clients who go stay in the city and birth in the hotel. i'd do that any day over giving birth with your doctor.
good luck!

[Beppie]

update

Thanks for ALL the replies, I agree, I think you all are right, that what the doctor said about position does raise a red flag.

Fortunately, just this afternoon I finally talked with a homebirth midwife in my area (as far as I can tell, the only one around), who just sounds WONDERFUL, like the best option I could ever have hoped for.

I'm so relieved I don't have to choose between 2 mediocre/less-than-mediocre doctors. Just a 20 minute talk with this midwife, and my excitement about this birth has gone through the roof, I am suddenly really looking forward to a homebirth. What a difference between this excitement and my stress one week ago!

thanks all of you for your thoughts!

[courtenay_e]

I'm really glad to hear that. Here's to getting to know the midwife and having a GREAT birth!