choosing clothes and then not wearing them

[huggerwocky]

So, at the beginning of summer my daughter who is 10 got to choose some clothes that we ordered. Included was a shorts/t-shirt outfit. It cost 30 $. This was 6 weeks ago. Numbers of times worn: ZERO.

This is not the first time this happened. I always say, try it on, we can return it, we don't need to keep it. No, she'll wear it, she loves it, she wanted it

I feel like I need to do something now as it has become a habit of hers. If she chooses clothes, she should wear them. I don't have a money tree. Soon summer vacation will be over and then she certainly won't wear it because the shorts are not long enough according to school rules

Any suggestions?

[USAmma]

Maybe just limit her clothes to a few outfits to get her through the summer. If she wants to wear the same outfits over and over and never wear one set, then so be it. Does the unworn outfit have the tags still? Maybe you can exchange it for something else.

[crispysmom]

My 11 year old son did the same thing.

Saw something he wanted, swore he would die without it, promised to wear it, then left it in the closet for six months at which point he had outgrown it. It drove me nuts.

I took away his other clothes and left him with just those items he never wore. It worked and he didn't really notice.

Hope this helps.

[huggerwocky]

Originally Posted by USAmma

Maybe just limit her clothes to a few outfits to get her through the summer. If she wants to wear the same outfits over and over and never wear one set, then so be it. Does the unworn outfit have the tags still? Maybe you can exchange it for something else.

She doesn't have too many clothes, it's not like she can choose from 200 items. And for fall she will need new clothes, I already see this happening again. I wouldn't mind if it was a one time thing, but it happens all the time. No tags, she cut them off

[huggerwocky]

Originally Posted by crispysmom

My 11 year old son did the same thing.

Saw something he wanted, swore he would die without it, promised to wear it, then left it in the closet for six months at which point he had outgrown it. It drove me nuts.

I took away his other clothes and left him with just those items he never wore. It worked and he didn't really notice.

Hope this helps.

I might try that

[Susie1]

This has happened to me a few times. I guess I like something in style, but it just does not end up being me. I usually give it to someone else eventually. People tend to wear the same stuff over and over. I noticed my kids digging into the dryer to get the old faves and leaving their other newer stuff in the closet. I slowed down the laundry process and then they started wearing more of the other clothes.

[MamaLisa1]

my 13 year old daughter has been the same way pretty much her whole life. She HAS to have something and begs for it, and she will wear it once or not at all, and then that's it. She got these sneakers last year, and someone said they looked like 1st grade sneakers, so she never wore them again. GRRR....she is on an clothing allowance and has to choose her own things now and pay for them, and she takes it far more seriously now. She shops on the clearance racks and everything.

[huggerwocky]

Originally Posted by Susie1

This has happened to me a few times. I guess I like something in style, but it just does not end up being me. I usually give it to someone else eventually. People tend to wear the same stuff over and over. I noticed my kids digging into the dryer to get the old faves and leaving their other newer stuff in the closet. I slowed down the laundry process and then they started wearing more of the other clothes.

I understand that, but I feel like it happens every time

[huggerwocky]

Originally Posted by MamaLisa1

my 13 year old daughter has been the same way pretty much her whole life. She HAS to have something and begs for it, and she will wear it once or not at all, and then that's it. She got these sneakers last year, and someone said they looked like 1st grade sneakers, so she never wore them again. GRRR....she is on an clothing allowance and has to choose her own things now and pay for them, and she takes it far more seriously now. She shops on the clearance racks and everything.

clothes allowance sounds like a good idea!

[my6beans]

My daughter does this too!

She is almost 12 and does this about shoes! I take her and tell her "you pick the ones you liike out." I will then start the speech of "if you are not going to wear them, then I am not going to buy them we will find other ones." SHe then says "yes I LOVE them and need them!" Then they sit there and are not worn. She has done this with the last 2 pairs. She wants DC's which are about $75 and, although I will buy them, they are the only sneakers she will get for school. I am so glad I have 1 girl and 5 boys!

[MamaLisa1]

what are DC's?
I feel so cheap...I won't spend more than $30 on sneakers....I just bought clearance sneaks the other day for my one daughter for $20!

[sunflowers]

I don't have any advice but I wanted to jump in and sympathize with you. My ds will only wear a select few outfits (if you can all them that - more like a certain cut of tshirt and shorts). He's easy because as long as I buy in that style- no problem. And he's so not about shopping

But I was your dd when I was a pre-teen/teen. Drove my mom nuts with me picking out clothes and then never wearing them. I guess I got them home from the store and didn't like the way they looked on me anymore? It actually still happens with me but I've learned to keep the tags on them so I can return them when I change my mind :

[ASusan]

Originally Posted by huggerwocky

clothes allowance sounds like a good idea!

I was going to suggest this as well. I had a clothing allowance at 16, but I don't see why you couldn't do it at a younger age.

Figure out how much you spend a year on her clothes and divide it by 12. A monthly sum should be appropriate for younger teen. You might consider that some things - like specific sneakers for a sport or a dressy dress for a wedding - are not included.

[pigpokey]

I do this too, I buy things and don't always wear them. Fortunately I buy almost all my stuff at the thrift store -- if this is her pattern, I'd consider moving her to used clothes only. Then you can sell them or donate them for value near what you paid.

[momuveight2B]

Take them back. Adults do this too. I just returned pants my husband had never worn after a year to LL Bean for a full refund. That's why I shop there Sometimes things look great in a catalogue or in the store but once we get them home they are not what we expected. Six weeks is long enough that I would make an executive decision and send them back.

[sunflowers]

Originally Posted by momuveight2B

Take them back. Adults do this too. I just returned pants my husband had never worn after a year to LL Bean for a full refund. That's why I shop there Sometimes things look great in a catalogue or in the store but once we get them home they are not what we expected. Six weeks is long enough that I would make an executive decision and send them back.

I LLBean because of their return policy! They told me that if I bought clothes for next year for dd, they would refund my money if she outgrows them before then. Plus I bought ds his school backpack there a few years ago and I can exchange it for a new one whenever it gets holes or torn- which happens a lot! You've gotta love an exchange/return policy like that!

[SusanElizabeth]

Both of my daughters do this. I wish I had advice for you, but I wanted to say that you're NOT alone!

My (16 year old) daughter got a beautiful shirt from the store Anthropologie that she picked out to go to a Model UN conference. It was expensive, but I thought it looked very pretty. She has never worn it since then.

I have also bought clothes for myself and ended up not really liking them and not wearing them much. I actually wish that I had the knack of only buying clothes that I'll end up feeling good in. If someone has the secret, let us know.

[Starr]

Can you make it a policy that she can't cut the tags until she is wearing it that day? That way you can return it. I know once I had my mom buy me a sweater that was around $30, I cut the tags and sure enough decided I just didn't like it, she made me pay her back the money. It never happened again.

[smillerhouse]

I have done the clothing allowance for my dauhter,now 14 for several years. I am not a shopper,she loves to shop. I try to do it sesonally but she loves to change outfits,looks,often. I am tryin to keep within a budget and then she must work to earn the money for purchases beyond that. She often does not wear stuff that much becasue she keeps cahnging looks,preferences,etc. We have found several teen orented resale shops, I think Plat's Closet is a nationwide frnachise. Also,several places in the Mall that aren't real pricey. THe busget,clothing allowance, havin gher choose and stay within those budget (and time) boundaries is what I aim for. Sallie