Gang signs? - Page 2

[Bestbirths]

I would think for example that inner city children are probably smarter about gangs and more educated to know better than to throw gang signs. The perception out there be it true or not, like on youtube, is that White suburban (or I would think all races of suburban kids) could be throwing gang signs just to be cool with no idea what they mean, having no previous exposure to gang activity. My daughter won't be throwing anymore gang signs once she found out what they were she was pretty upset about it. She doesn't want to be around those kids anymore which is a plus. We are kind of in almost a rural area, I've heard them call it a bedroom community. It's the farthest out without being in farmland as you can get from the main city. Yes, I wouldn't put it past my teen to walk right into any type of trouble, so I've got her on a pretty close watch right now. sigh. She's in counseling, and her attitude gets better some days then takes a dive other days. You know those kinds of kids who make their parents hair go gray? I think I've got one of those, so this is going to be interesting. So ladies, if we ever meet and you see these gray hairs, I am earning every one of them.

[PikkuMyy]

The "peace sign" with pinky up and middle finger down is a heavy metal, head-banging "rock on" thing that people use all the time. It's way overused, in fact, according to the Onion (satire, joke newspaper) - people are using it to celebrate getting the last bag of potato chips, on up to winning a round of miniature golf.

I wouldn't think gangs at all either. Bored teens who are up to no good? Sure!

[Pinoikoi]

Well, best births, I am glad that you spoke with your daughter about it, and have some agreements.

I just think parents need to be more proactive about this stuff.. it really is an open ended definition, and in some places I think gang activity is considered felony material.. Hypothetically, a kid could vandalize something, and he and all his buddies could get a felony for the additional charge of gang activity.. and I think it happens more often than we know of.. schools have to be hypervigilent, and communities are starting to do it too, now.

Anyway, I just hope that everyone does some research on this subject. I had to go through gang training last year. It was eye opening. That's another thing. Students in many schools will be suspended for gang related drawings, poetry etc.

[Bestbirths]

Since my children are unschooled, they would get suspended right out of the house....literally. We have a younger child who is ill and we are trying to make life less stressful for her, so it's so important to get some solutions to these teenage issues because we really don't have as much tolerance for it as we might if the situation were different. It sounds terrible, but there is a two week facility for juvey type cases where you can drop them off for just a short time, and if things get bad enough, I would consider taking her there if things kept progressing downhill. Unless I can think of some other solutions, but that is Z and we are probably on R.

[Pinoikoi]

Originally Posted by Bestbirths

Since my children are unschooled, they would get suspended right out of the house....literally. We have a younger child who is ill and we are trying to make life less stressful for her, so it's so important to get some solutions to these teenage issues because we really don't have as much tolerance for it as we might if the situation were different. It sounds terrible, but there is a two week facility for juvey type cases where you can drop them off for just a short time, and if things get bad enough, I would consider taking her there if things kept progressing downhill. Unless I can think of some other solutions, but that is Z and we are probably on R.

I was wondering about the hsing thing while I was typing.. I am glad you have options. It is also good that your dd knows that you know you have options, especially with other kiddos in the house. I tell my teen all the time that I have a responsibility to the little ones. He's over 18- my responbilities with HIM are a different ball of wax.

There is a homeless shelter for teens here, but the juvey place here only accepts criminal offenses, and only SOME of those.. I don't think it is terrible that you may consider dropping a teen off for a short time if they don't toe the line. Tough love works. And really, I have worked with teenage felons more than I care to think about (cop killers- the whole deal, but thankfully, a previous profession). Ime, it really is best to stop certain behaviors before they get out of hand, for ALL parties involved.

[menudo]

Wake up and smell the coffee. IF those kids are doing graffitti.. and throwing gang signs. They are in a gang. Period. If dd is throwing gang signs too, then she is in it too.

An organized gang and a gang of people are not exactly the same thing. Yes, gangs are everywhere, all races, all incomes, etc. Graffiti and gangs are not always related. Gang graffiti is completely different than graffiti artists. I have lived in the inner city and the suburbs. I am familair with this all. My concern is subrubanites are jumping to the "he/she MUST be in a gang because___________" way too often these days.

[thefreckledmama]

When I was a teenager (not that long ago, I'm only 26) my friends and I all went through a "wanna be bad a$$" stage, where we would take pics throwing up various "gangish" signs and acting like hard a$$es-most of the guys took it especially far. The truth of the matter, the closest any of us had ever been to real gang activity or knowledge was watching "Boyz in the Hood". So I think to say that exhibiting that behavior automatically means that a child is involved with a gang is silly and alarmist. That's not to say that 'suburban' kids never could be, but I never got that impression from the OP, even before she mentioned talking to her dd about it.

From everything else that was said about the children in question, it does sound like they might have had some behaviorial issues in the past that might have led them to be staying in the area in the first place-trying to get them away from whatever bad influences they had been around themselves. I think the OP's parental instinct about them was right on, and would think and behave in the exact same way regarding them being around my children. I hope that if and when I'm ever in a similar situation with my kids, I can handle it as well as she did.

[Bestbirths]

Thanks Jaime...I feel the most insecure about the teenage years, so that means a lot!

[Pinoikoi]

Originally Posted by menudo

An organized gang and a gang of people are not exactly the same thing. Yes, gangs are everywhere, all races, all incomes, etc. Graffiti and gangs are not always related. Gang graffiti is completely different than graffiti artists. I have lived in the inner city and the suburbs. I am familair with this all. My concern is subrubanites are jumping to the "he/she MUST be in a gang because___________" way too often these days.

Is graffitti legal where you live? Most cities it is a crime.

[menudo]

"Is graffitti legal where you live? Most cities it is a crime."

Yes, but even the PD will explain GANG graffitti is territorial, threatening, etc. Graffitti art and tags are different, albeit illegal (unless permission is given). Someone close to me tagged all over NYC-major pieces, tons of talent. These guys were seen by authorities and a nusiance, not gangs.

Funny thing is when I was high school I used to write my nickname in bubble letters with an exclamtion point at the end on all MY stuff. I sucked at it and it was bad bubbles letters-not graffitti style. Well years later some one is TAGGING all over out here my nickname with the exclamation point. Those who know me (inclusing my own Mother) have commented on it. How embarrasing. No, I am not a desperately bored wanna be tagger at age 31!

[Pinoikoi]

Well, menudo, if graffitti is a crime, and it is done by people in an organized group then it is gang activity. And that is sort of my point. Is graffitti in itself fairly harmless? Yes, I mean an irrate shop owner or whatever will have to go out and repaint, but no one is physically harmed over it..

The problem I have is that the working definition for gang activity is so BROAD that a small misdemeanor for graffitti can be blown up into this big felony issue because of the organized association aspect. And really, as a parent, I am glad I know about that. Has my own teen gotten in trouble? certainly.. but I am CLEARLY going to make sure he knows what the definition of gang activity is and its implications..

The definition of gang activity is so broad that it is difficult to avoid. Until it is better defined, or there are better ways to combat serious gang activity, I don't know how it can be avoided.

I am just saying, be aware. Many communities are tightening up their belts where gang activity is concerned, but often I think regular, good kids that make a small mistake and hang out with a couple of shady characters can get caught up in this gang activity definition and felony arrest. In my neck of the woods, usually a suspect will be charged with as many violations as possible in the hopes that something will stick in court.

I really hope that a graffitti "artist" wouldn't be arrested for gang activity, tried as an adult and put in prison for it- but you know what? the possibility is there.

[marlne]

Originally Posted by Bestbirths

What do gang signs mean? A sideways peace sign? then some funky other thing with the other hand, peace sign again with the pinky up too and the middle finger down? There are some new kids that visited our neighborhood this summer. I have a horrible gut feeling about them and I have tried to keep ds away from them, and ds has been sneaking out to hang out with them and getting calls at all hours of the night. Of course, since I have her phone, I am commendeering her texts. That's when I found the pics on her phone of the kids in question and herself flashing these gang signs. I told the last character who called I would track him down.

I haven't read the other posts yet but for my daughter and her friends, they do the sideways peace sign as a "cool" way for doing the actual peace sign. (bad mom here as I "tease" her for that one.lol)
The other sign you mentioned is what they do as a "rock on" sign. (if I got your description correct)

[Bestbirths]

Thank you. I feel much less uncool now and ten years younger really!!!! now that I know what the sign means.

[marlne]

I feel like I may be losing what "coolness" I thought I had as my daughter gets older..lol

[mommy68]

I don't know what they REALLY mean, but I know around here they are used so frequently because they think they look 'cool', not that there's any gang activity.

I agree.

I would be more leary about the clothing they are wearing and if they wear a certain color t-shirt to match their friends, that kind of stuff. When we go in to the city I see groups of young boys walking and they all have on red shirts or another group and they all have on white t-shirts, etc. You can just tell.