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sooo here's a question...

post #1 of 49
Thread Starter 
what if your hubby is procirc, and the reason he is, is because ALL the guys he knows who AREN'T circ'ed (or were circ'ed as adults) hate it and wish their parents had it done when they were born?
post #2 of 49
It still isn't his decision to make for his child. His child can make that decision as an adult if he chooses. Not his penis not his decision.
post #3 of 49
Thread Starter 
i'm gonna need more than that...
post #4 of 49
Call him out on it. Get the story straight from these supposed "many" men who wanted to be circed. Then find out if they actually went through with it.
post #5 of 49
Thread Starter 
that's a good idea, i know of one for sure who did because i used to work with him as well, and i asked another guy friend of mine the same thing, if he had any friends who weren't circ'ed or who got circ'ed as adults and he told me the same thing:
post #6 of 49
Also, if you find these men really exist, ask them the functions of the foreskin. 100$ says they dont know them ignorance could be a big factor here.
post #7 of 49
I bet he doesn't know many guys that were left intact and every pro-circer I've come across knows someone who either hated having his whole penis or 'had' to be circed later and was so awful. I wonder if it's all the same guy. Only in the US do guys wish their penises were lacking, absurd.

Anyway, with circumcision on the down fall it's less likely a boy today will be the only one who has his whole penis. So, it's less likely a guy will want to get circed so his penis with fit in with his friend's penises.
I'd tell my dh he needs to research if he was trying to use that argument will me.
post #8 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by faeriebeauty22 View Post
what if your hubby is procirc, and the reason he is, is because ALL the guys he knows who AREN'T circ'ed (or were circ'ed as adults) hate it and wish their parents had it done when they were born?
Tell him to prove it.

Call the guys up and ask them. Call his bluff.
post #9 of 49
Keep in mind too that these guys (if they're for real and not a "friend of a friend of a friend") were brought up in a culture that devalues foreskins. So they've been raised to think that their own bodies are gross.

Keep in mind too that many of them if they actually survived childhood with their foreskins intact may have been damaged by overzealous "cleaning" regimens that inappropriately retracted them, causing scarring/true phimosis and infections.

Ask most European and Asian and Latin American guys if they wish they were circed and you'll get that green-around-the-gills protective-crossing-of-legs response and a hearty "hell no!"

People have all sorts of negative body images about themselves because of the dominant culture and want to do crazy things to make themselves fit the norm more closely. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with their bodies; it means something is seriously screwed up with the dominant culture that only values light skin/blue eyes/straight hair/skinny bodies/height/circed penises whatever, and tells people that don't meet this norm that they're dirty/shameful/worthless/LESS THAN.

Besides, any intact adult who is so troubled by his foreskin that he wants to be rid of it forever can go out and do that pretty easily -- it's not major surgery, pretty much any urologist would be happy to take his money, and he'll get great painkillers afterwards. So he has no (third? : ) leg to stand on.

As for a baby? His body, his right to decide for himself how it will look (and function) when he's an adult.
post #10 of 49
I would ask if they did get it done and if so see what they say because men who are unhappy with getting circumcised as an adult actually will know what they are missing & assume if they were a baby they wouldn't know both ways.

Plus, it's hard for some men to admit they made a mistake so they may say they wanted it instead of being tricked into it.
post #11 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by faeriebeauty22 View Post
what if your hubby is procirc, and the reason he is, is because ALL the guys he knows who AREN'T circ'ed (or were circ'ed as adults) hate it and wish their parents had it done when they were born?
First, I'd ask him how he knows the status of so many men.

Second, ask him to make a list of names of all these men who have these complaints. Since he knows such intimate details, he should be able to name names.

Third, have him ask all of these men why they haven't simply gone out and done it themselves.

Since men don't generally talk about their penises amongst themselves, my theory is that he probably doesn't know the status of any men or their wishes regarding circumcision. Even if he does, its probably only a handful and not enough to constitute a good sample.

I'm sure someone here will post the Vulnerability of Men article... good advice. Your husband is probably feeling insecure.
post #12 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by SammyJr View Post
First, I'd ask him how he knows the status of so many men.

Second, ask him to make a list of names of all these men who have these complaints. Since he knows such intimate details, he should be able to name names.

Third, have him ask all of these men why they haven't simply gone out and done it themselves.
i totally agree with this...my partner doesnt know if any of his friends are intact or circ'd, nor does he care...he figures its none of his business, since he is not having intimate relationships with them...

your partners reason for wanting to circ makes me angry... :

peace...
post #13 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by faeriebeauty22 View Post
ALL the guys he knows who AREN'T circ'ed (or were circ'ed as adults)
He can't know too many, because adult men today, when they were babies the circ rates were very high, so it's hard to believe he would know tons of men like he is describing. Secondly, maybe it's a cultural thing, if they are all from the same neck of the woods, that might explain why they hate their penises so much, I guess.
post #14 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by faeriebeauty22 View Post
that's a good idea, i know of one for sure who did because i used to work with him as well,
Have you asked this guy if he is happier with the function of his penis now that part of it has been amputated? I'd be willing to bet my last dollar that he's not, even if he wouldn't admit it.
post #15 of 49
Do guys actually talk about whether they're circumcised or not? I would wager that my husband has no idea what the foreskin-status of his closest friends is, except that the odds of a 30-something man in America are high that he's circumcised.
post #16 of 49
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quirky View Post
Keep in mind too that many of them if they actually survived childhood with their foreskins intact may have been damaged by overzealous "cleaning" regimens that inappropriately retracted them, causing scarring/true phimosis and infections.
AH!! that's EXACTLY what i said but i didn't know if i was just making it up to sound good, so i'm glad that someone else said so too. i feel like i know more than i really do. well, i didn't tell him, i told my other friend with whom i was debating this issue with (the other guy who knows people who are intact and "hate it" or were adults when they had it done) hubby and i are going to talk about it when i get home, he promised he was going to do his own hard research on it. but i plan on bringing this same thing up with him as well.
post #17 of 49
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by SammyJr View Post
First, I'd ask him how he knows the status of so many men.

Second, ask him to make a list of names of all these men who have these complaints. Since he knows such intimate details, he should be able to name names.

Third, have him ask all of these men why they haven't simply gone out and done it themselves.

Since men don't generally talk about their penises amongst themselves, my theory is that he probably doesn't know the status of any men or their wishes regarding circumcision. Even if he does, its probably only a handful and not enough to constitute a good sample.

I'm sure someone here will post the Vulnerability of Men article... good advice. Your husband is probably feeling insecure.
well, he has named names, and i know who he's talking about. for some reason these guys would share all kinds of intimate/sexual/personal/gross stuff with ME, as if i was interested!!: so i don't think he's lying about it, seeing as with his job you can come in contact with thousands of people. BUT i do think he may feel partial guilt in being circ'ed himself so he's kind of pushing it onto others. i have read that is a common post-traumatic response in older men.
post #18 of 49
He might hiding behind the fact that you can't contact these guys. But, if you can and he gives you that info, Id be all over talking to them and finding out their opinions and discussing foreskin function.
post #19 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quirky View Post
Keep in mind too that these guys (if they're for real and not a "friend of a friend of a friend") were brought up in a culture that devalues foreskins. So they've been raised to think that their own bodies are gross.

Keep in mind too that many of them if they actually survived childhood with their foreskins intact may have been damaged by overzealous "cleaning" regimens that inappropriately retracted them, causing scarring/true phimosis and infections.

Ask most European and Asian and Latin American guys if they wish they were circed and you'll get that green-around-the-gills protective-crossing-of-legs response and a hearty "hell no!"

People have all sorts of negative body images about themselves because of the dominant culture and want to do crazy things to make themselves fit the norm more closely. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with their bodies; it means something is seriously screwed up with the dominant culture that only values light skin/blue eyes/straight hair/skinny bodies/height/circed penises whatever, and tells people that don't meet this norm that they're dirty/shameful/worthless/LESS THAN.

Besides, any intact adult who is so troubled by his foreskin that he wants to be rid of it forever can go out and do that pretty easily -- it's not major surgery, pretty much any urologist would be happy to take his money, and he'll get great painkillers afterwards. So he has no (third? : ) leg to stand on.

As for a baby? His body, his right to decide for himself how it will look (and function) when he's an adult.
That pretty much sums it up. Great post.
post #20 of 49
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinker View Post
Have you asked this guy if he is happier with the function of his penis now that part of it has been amputated? I'd be willing to bet my last dollar that he's not, even if he wouldn't admit it.
he was focused on the pain of it. he said he wished his parents did it when he was a baby so he wouldn't remember it.
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