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sooo here's a question... - Page 3

post #41 of 49
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by trmpetplaya View Post
My dh rinses under his foreskin every day or every other day during his shower I have NO complaints whatsoever about his hygiene. We were both born in 1983 and most men in our generation were/are circumcised and yet my dh is very happy that he was left intact. Of course, we live on the West Coast so that could have something to do with it... but still...

The only guy I know who chose to be circumcised as an adult still appreciated that his parents left the decision up to HIM since it's HIS penis. My ex-boyfriend was happy to be intact and slept around a ton as well (in case your dh tries to use the excuse that girls don't like intact penises...) and has absolutely no plans to be circumcised ever.

I also know at least three guys my age who really wish they had NOT been circumcised, but there's not a whole lot they can do about it now. The decision was taken away from them before they could even have a say in what was done to their own body (the most private part of their own body, no less) :

I also know circumcised men who are happy that they were circumcised, but I'm not convinced that they aren't just in denial And they, of course, have nothing to compare it to... just like women who were circumcised who claim that they're happy and aren't missing out on anything (and those women definitely do exist - it's all about cultural expectations...).

love and peace.
i think it might be coastal thing, because the guys he talked to were east coast guys. i don't really know because i'm totally west coast, but it's an interesting observation. oh, but he doesn't use the asthetics excuse, his best friend growing up wasn't circ'ed and he got plenty of play before he got married, lol. i think that after he learns of all the BAD things that are possible he'll reconsider and understand more why it shouldn't be his choice to begin with. it's just that he doesn't know, and no one has ever challenged that before me.
post #42 of 49
Just to chime in, my DH was born and raised on the East Coast and was glad his mother left him intact. He has several friends who grew up around here that feel the same way.

I'm always totally baffled by adult men who claim they wish they were circ'd at birth but then never actually get themselves circ'd as adults. It kind of invalidates their whole argument, like if you hate being intact so much but are still afraid to have the surgery done, doesn't that show exactly how bad the procedure is?
post #43 of 49
Tell him you know a whooooooole bunch of women who think men with intact penises are sexy.

And just don't do it. Not his body. Not his decision. Period.
post #44 of 49
The way I see it, a man who was left intact at birth can go and get circed as an adult if he chooses. It's not quite as simple the other way around.

Yes restoration is possible but time consuming and does not give back everything that was taken (although it is an improvement)

I read recently about a man who did get circed as an adult just because he felt "uncomfortable about having a foreskin- he said it was the biggest mistake of his life, as his sexual sensation was greatly reduced.
post #45 of 49
Also restoration DOES NOT give a man his foreskin back, it only stretches the remaining skin he has to cover the glans. Once the foreskin is gone it's gone.

Here's a list of what is lost:
post #46 of 49
Although people often use the (made-up) excuse that it's easier on a baby, adults get adequate pain relief (which most babies dont get), and adults don't have to have the foreskin forcibly separated from the glans, as babies do (b/c in infants it's fused, but in adults, it has naturally separated).

A boy born today is going to be less likely to desire a circumcision when he grows up because there are so many more intact boys now that the old myths about foreskins being gross or weird are just not going to be prevalent like they were in the past. Now, an intact boy is not going to be the only one. He's going to be like about half his peers.

There's a reason that the men you are talking about didn't accept their genitals the way they were. The reason is that our culture has maligned the foreskin for so long. European, Canadian, Australian, Japanese, Brazilian, Chinese, Indian, etc. men don't hate their foreskins, because they haven't been brainwashed all their lives to think that intact is hideous. Now, American culture is changing. At the very least, it iss seen as a reasonable, healthy, and ethical choice to leave a boy intact. Hopefully, it will soon be seen by the majority as the best choice. I have a feeling that when the almost 50% of boys that are being left whole grow up, they will set the world straight on the value of the foreskin!
post #47 of 49
Others have more than covered this topic, but I just wanted to add that if your son is informed about the functions/etc of the foreskin, it is very, very unlikely that he will be upset that the most sensitive part of his penis wasn't cut off when he was a newborn, you know?

A little bit of education goes a long way. I'd be willing to bet that the men your dh knows who aren't happy about being intact/were circumcised as adults, are pretty much clueless about the functions of the foreskin, etc.

You can make sure your son knows what circumcision is and how it harms, as well as making sure he knows all of the functions of the foreskin and how important it is.

He'll be thankful that he was left with his whole body.

This is just something that I find so difficult, though - the fact that American boys should be grateful for not being cut up at birth. I know they should be, because their parents have protected them, and they were more fortunate than many other little boys - but their whole penis is THEIRS, not anyone else's.

And only they should decide if they want a healthy, functioning part of it cut off (I know you know this - I'm just in the mood to rant a bit!).

Here's the Vulnerability of Men article, since I don't think it's been linked to yet. SHould help you understand where your dh is coming from:

post #48 of 49
Originally Posted by Super Pickle View Post
Although people often use the (made-up) excuse that it's easier on a baby, adults get adequate pain relief (which most babies dont get), and adults don't have to have the foreskin forcibly separated from the glans, as babies do (b/c in infants it's fused, but in adults, it has naturally separated).
VERY good point.
post #49 of 49
Thread Starter 
so pretty much... i love all the input everyone is putting up here. some of it i have learned for myself and some of it is new information that i wouldn't otherwise have access to, as the only intact male i know i no longer speak with. so it's good to get points of views from people who are intact/have intact children and all that goes along with it! i'm a sponge, i'm soaking, i'm soaking!!
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