or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Special Needs Parenting › Dh filing a complaint against his boss w/human resources
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Dh filing a complaint against his boss w/human resources - Page 2

post #21 of 165
Thread Starter 
Thanks for the support. I told him to let me know what happens. He doesn't think anything will be amiss today, but I'm not so sure. He thinks she'll be on her best behavior, I think she's going to be a raging lunatic. Maybe the day will be somewhere in the middle?
post #22 of 165
Just wanted to offer support. I hope all is well. I have had bad male and female bosses but never a good female boss, and I am sure there are great ones out there...but your DH's certainly is making a case for more bad female bosses. He sounds like a gem, I hope he is doing o.k.
post #23 of 165
Thread Starter 
He's doing great. As of this afternoon, either bosslady hasn't heard yet or she's hiding her emotions VERY well. Our guess is that HR is doing a thorough investigation, starting with HER boss, crosschecking when he filed his paperwork, reviewing his previous workload, etc. We both think as soon as she gets even an INKLING there is something going on, she'll freak.

She's got a history of giving her supervisors a huge amount of responsibility and then freaking out and taking it all back as soon as they start looking good. She thinks they're all out to get her job and she wants to think she's indispensible, so she starts getting skittish. When she hears about this, she's REALLY going to think he's out for her job, which he really isn't.
post #24 of 165
Originally Posted by shelbean91 View Post
Honestly, I really, really hate to say it, but the worst bosses I've EVER had have been female. I think it really sucks to have to come to that conclusion and males can be jerks just as much, but IME the women are WAY worse and that sickens me.
AMEN to this...here's our story---dd has severe SID and for several years had a feeding tube due to this (and reflux that made things worse) and dh works for a woman--but you know, and I hate to stereotype but here goes--this woman has never been married and has a cat and is very very large...she's very difficult and VERY unforgiving and harsh on all of her employees but especially my dh.
The first time he ever had to leave work due to dd issues it was a terrible issue and this woman is just as nuts as the boss your dh works for--she will (and still does) call our house and demand to know where dh is and talk to me like I'm her dog or something demanding to know where he is and then ranting about whatever the problem is that is work-related (like I have a clue as to what the heck she's talking about)--in fact, I've thought about getting caller ID just to screen HER calls!
These are the things you must must do--and we are doing this, so I know--
1) keep a record log of time your dh takes off and why and write down all details (like dr. appt at 3 with Dr. Bill for X)
AND document ALL conversations he has with bosslady over time off, expectations, raises, etc., etc., ---KEEP DETAILED RECORDS include comments, times, dates, etc. --everything he can think of...
2) keep a record log/book of any and all over time or extra time that your dh does to either make up for lost time or just in general for the company so that they can see that he fits the description of a dedicated employee
3) get a lawyer who deals with these cases IMMEDIATELY and get on line to find the BEST one in your area--google a search for support groups in your area on special needs and ask the parents in that group--that's what we did and we came out with a pit bull of a lawyer.
As nutty as this gal sounds, she'll back down if she knows your dh is serious. That should do the trick.
BEST OF LUCK TO YOU--you and your dh do not deserve this!!!
post #25 of 165
I've been through a discrim case and the EEOC and this is what I can remember (and maybe you already mentioned you did this but I'll list it anyway):

1. File everything you can with everyone you can sooner than later. That was very wise to have gone to HR, it proves he tried to 'mediate' first. Dates matter big time in these situations.

2. Have Shawn make as detailed a timeline as he can, while he still remembers. If there are any other co-workers that can corroborate any of the conversations bosslady had with him (schedule changes, derogatory comments, promotion discussions) have him write it down, in case it's needed.

3. Print out anything at all from emails or memos that have a date or any references to these events.

Basically, it's highly possible the company may try and scare him out of trying to protect himself. And I know he wants to keep his job, but he needs to go into this situation ready to fight if he has to. Being prepared will show them that he means business.

Also, the EEOC will provide representation if they think he has a case. And the pp is right, it could be big money (though I know that's not what you guys are aiming for right now).

Good luck! I'll sub to see what happens!
post #26 of 165
Thread Starter 
Thanks again. I'm going to have him start to write down dates/conversations as they happen. He's got a pretty good memory and enough of an email trail to fill in what he doesn't exactly remember.

Again, I would think his boss would have more sensitivity in the realm of discrimination, b/c she's claimed to be harrassed before because of her race/gender. I can't believe she doesn't find anything wrong with what she's doing.

As far as people corroborating his story, he talked to a person who is her equal that recently left the company and this guy said he would stand up in court if necessary to back Shawn up. There are many people who can at least talk about how erratic/irrational she is, if not specifically talk about this particular situation.
post #27 of 165
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by GranoLLLy-girl View Post
1) keep a record log of time your dh takes off and why and write down all details (like dr. appt at 3 with Dr. Bill for X)
AND document ALL conversations he has with bosslady over time off, expectations, raises, etc., etc., ---KEEP DETAILED RECORDS include comments, times, dates, etc. --everything he can think of...
Sometimes- he'll let her know something is coming up and he *might* need to have time off depending on if we can get other coverage. He'll end up not taking the day, but in *her* mind, he's taking 'all this time off'. Should he document he's telling her he *might* need time off or just when he *actually* takes time off do you think?
post #28 of 165
Document everything. Both when he *thinks* he will and when he *does.*

This is so sad you have to go through this.
post #29 of 165
In addition to documenting everything as pp's have suggested, also make sure that Shawn does not leave this documentation at work. It either stays with him or is kept at home. Don't assume that documents that are on his work computer will remain there. Sometimes things mysteriously disappear, sad to say.
post #30 of 165
Thread Starter 
Oh, we TOTALLY know about not keeping things at work without backup. Fortunately, anyone who might be responsible for deleting any of his files are also his friends/acquaintences, so that is a good thing. He's supervisor in the IT dept.

But, that's definitely a great tip. Work computers are not personal computers and the company has access to anything, at all times.
post #31 of 165
I'm so sorry you are going through that.
post #32 of 165
Thread Starter 
Yeah, it sucks, but at least we know what to do. And he still has a job in the meantime. And for the most part, he likes his job and coworkers. We'll see how things fall- hopefully in our favor.
post #33 of 165
Thread Starter 
On one of my online groups, I got the name of an employment lawyer that used to work for the big companies, but now works for individuals in discrimination type cases. I left a message to see what he charges for a consult, should it come to that. Hopefully not TOO much. Even more hopefully, it won't come to that.
post #34 of 165
Thread Starter 
Still no update- boss seems to be acting as normal, so either she doesn't know or is hiding very well.
post #35 of 165
Thread Starter 

Slight update

I talked to the attorney- he charges $200/hr and a consult generally lasts around an hour. Of course, that's a LOT of money.

He said we're on the right path- waiting on HR to see what happens, but if we DO feel the need to file w/EEOC, he'd recommend a consult just to help streamline the process. My sister also works for an attorney and I just left her a message to see if he knows anyone who's familiar w/this type of case.
post #36 of 165
Hopefully you won't need to got there, and I know it sounds like a lot now, but $200 isn't so much when you consider the cost of changing jobs. The fact that he gave you some feedback and only suggested the consult if he needs to file with EEOC is a good sign that he wouldn't be trying to fleece you, IMO.

Sadly, I don't think that the fact that a person is saavy about discrimination due to race/gender/orientation/religion means that they will "get" disability rights or rights related to parent needs. For a long time, a major argument against certain types of job discrimination was based on the fact that there was pay discrimination yet no difference in fulfillment of job responsibilities. So some people very versed in that struggle may not get "even if sometimes time off is needed or worker X can't do something as fast as worker A,B,C, and D for disability related reasons, you still can't discriminate against them because of it." It is an issue people need a different kind of education around, and very often people never get that.

post #37 of 165
Thread Starter 
Of course, if it comes down to it, $200 is a very small price to pay and fortunately, we're at a place where that is doable without breaking the bank.

He told me there were to be across the board raises for cost of living, but bosslady is requiring productivity evals on 3 employees to justify the raise for them- yep, you guessed it- the 3 people in the dept who have FMLA filed. Nice, huh?? Her comment to dh about the other FMLA people missing work - 'you just can't run a business that way' WOW!
post #38 of 165
And I assume he wrote that down and dated it, right?

post #39 of 165
Thread Starter 
This actually happened a while ago- and it is noted somewhere in his notes.
post #40 of 165
Thread Starter 

Another small update

His boss knows.

She hasn't said anything to him. He had drinks yesterday after work with a couple of coworkers/friends and they told him bosslady was asking many other employees if she's in trouble and if they're going to 'run off and tell HR' on her.

So, we know she knows. He's requesting a meeting w/hr Monday to see what's happening.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Special Needs Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Special Needs Parenting › Dh filing a complaint against his boss w/human resources