How comfortable are you with a sexually active teen? - Page 17

[barbara73069]

Whether we want our kids to have sex or not really isn't the issue. I think it is more about if they do have sex, how do we as parents handle it.

[Labbemama]

Originally Posted by barbara73069

Whether we want our kids to have sex or not really isn't the issue. I think it is more about if they do have sex, how do we as parents handle it.

Well said.

I'm not ready for my oldest child to be having sex but I think there is a small liklihood that she is. I had hoped she would wait longer and I have concerns about her handling it but she has been dating this boy forever in teen time and I think that eventually they will be. Especially if the boys mother continues like she is, making accusations and invading their privacy. And if it's at her house I will laugh. It happens here that will be another story.

[churndash]

I don't think that sex is only for marriage, but I do think sex is for adults and that my 15 year old is not an adult. This is not a new concept to the children, I started this whole "some things are for adults" since they were very small.

Apart from the possibility of getting pregnant or a disease, I think a sexual relationship is just a lot more complex than a non-sexual one and adults, generally speaking, are better equipped to cope with those feelings.

I would like to believe my kids and I have an open enough relationship that she would come to me if she wanted to have sex and talk to me about it. I really DO believe we have that relationship, but then again, you just never know 100% with kids so....she does have lots of other adults in her life, cousins, aunts, friends, so I think she'd go to someone in any case.

I would get her birth control if she were determined to have sex but I would not allow it to take place in my home. That's just beyond my comfort level. And of course I'd be there for her if things went badly, ranging from getting pregnant to getting her heart broken.

[Minky]

Originally Posted by Verity

As someone who didn't lose her virginity until age 24, I have a hard time believing this. If a guy is saying he doesn't want to "take her virginity," that is another way of saying he's just not that into her. If a guy is really attracted to someone, he's going to refuse to have sex with her? WTH?

Actually, this happened to my sister. She "waited" until she was 22, met the man who is now her DH, and he made some comment about not liking virgins because there was too much pressure or something. She lied, said she wasn't a virgin, but told the truth just before they were going to have sex. Luckily (I guess--I don't think he's much of a catch), he stayed with her, but they ended up waiting until marriage.

Still, true as it is, it's no reason to have sex with just anyone to get rid of that pesky virginity. If he hadn't wanted the "commitment" of having sex with a virgin, he probably wasn't the right guy for her anyway if she wanted a long term relationship.

[Tanibani]

I lost my virginity at 23 to my first serious boyfriend and he didn't have a problem with it.