younger daughter hit puberty first?

[DancingJoy]

My 12-year old just had her first period. It is quite awkward because my oldest, who is 14, has not started yet. It is especially hard on my eldest because she does not seem far along in puberty at all. Her breasts are still in that budding stage and she still wears a training bra. During the summer, my youngest moved up to "real" bras and is now a bit taller than her older sister. As you can imagine this has been really tough on her. It is hard enough navigating a world of hips and breasts without her little sister becoming a "woman" before her. Ocassionally she will burst into tears over it. I tell her not to worry too much, assure her that her time will come before she knows it, etc. but this new development (pardon the pun) with her sister is making it difficult. Is it normal for sisters to be so different when it comes to puberty? I remember my sister and I both started at roughly the same age.

[CarrieMF]

I was the younger sister who got AF before the older sister. I was 11 when I got mine, my sister was 13 at the time & did not get hers for another year or 2. Seriously not fair.lol

I went from being 11 in Grade 6 & not wearing a bra 1 day, to wearing a 36B the next. I have never worn a training bra & skipped over the A's. By the time I was 13 I was in a C but should have been in a D. My sister is barely in a B breastfeeding.

My sister has always been smaller chested than I, actually she is smaller chested than my Mom & I am larger chested than my mom.

I would sit the older dd down & talk to her about how she's feeling, then I would tell her that her younger sister is probably having alot similar but opposite feelings. Being the younger sister who is devoping before & faster than the older sister isn't a fun thing either, especially if that younger sister is one of the earlier ones in her grade(I was #2 & I ended up with the largest chest in my grade).

If your older dd is self conscious about wearing a training bra(and I imagine she is), can you get her a padded bra that would give the appearance of more?

[SusanElizabeth]

I also got my period at 11, whereas my sister, who was two years older, didn't get hers until she was 15. I do think it can vary a lot in one family.

My youngest daughter didn't get her period until she was 16.

So there are wide ranges and what can you do, but say, "well, that's life." And actually not getting your period by age 14 is not unusual.

[DancingJoy]

Hmm... yeah, so I guess it isn't too unusual for sisters to vary from one another. Your stories were helpful. I will definitely sit my older dd down and talk with her about it. Looking into bras with a little more padding to it wouldn't be a bad idea. The poor dear. Last week we had a family get together by the lake and she refused to go swimming (which she usually loves to do!). She has two younger cousins who have also started outgrowing their training bras. I confess I don't know what is going through the mind of my younger dd. She isn't quite as vocal about her feelings as older sis. If being on the early side bothers her, she isn't showing it.

[CarrieMF]

Last week we had a family get together by the lake and she refused to go swimming (which she usually loves to do!).

If you aren't opposed to 2 piece swimsuits you can get some with padded cups, though alot may not be appealing to a 14yo.lol

[DancingJoy]

Originally Posted by CarrieMF

If you aren't opposed to 2 piece swimsuits you can get some with padded cups, though alot may not be appealing to a 14yo.lol

No, I don't really have a problem with a two piece. Certainly worth a try! This has been tough on me too. I mean there is only so much i can do for her, you know? We can only hope the puberty fairy decides to pay a visit sooner rather than later! LOL

[CarrieMF]

Originally Posted by DancingJoy

No, I don't really have a problem with a two piece. Certainly worth a try! This has been tough on me too. I mean there is only so much i can do for her, you know? We can only hope the puberty fairy decides to pay a visit sooner rather than later! LOL

It'll come soon, especially with her having buds & then being emotional over it. the emotions could be the hormonal changes getting stronger.

[ThreeBeans]

My two best friends (sisters), three years apart, had a similar adolesences. Younger sister was always taller and more physically mature (breasts first, hair first, period first). Fortunately older sister wasn't phased in the least...she had no desire to grow up

[DancingJoy]

Originally Posted by ThreeBeans

My two best friends (sisters), three years apart, had a similar adolesences. Younger sister was always taller and more physically mature (breasts first, hair first, period first). Fortunately older sister wasn't phased in the least...she had no desire to grow up

Yes, this would be so much easier if my older DD had that same attitude! She is in such a hurry to grow up...

[DancingJoy]

Update: My older dd just got her first period today. The crisis is over! ha ha. She is simply ecstatic.

[mothragirl]

i got my first period when i was 11, my twin sister was 15. it was really hard on her.

[DancingJoy]

Originally Posted by mothragirl

i got my first period when i was 11, my twin sister was 15. it was really hard on her.

I imagine it was, being twins and all. Did you develop at different rates as well? (breasts, etc.) Interesting... i always thought that twins would be similar in things like that.

[mothragirl]

Originally Posted by DancingJoy

I imagine it was, being twins and all. Did you develop at different rates as well? (breasts, etc.) Interesting... i always thought that twins would be similar in things like that.

yep, i developed early, she never really did. we're fraternal twins

[fourgrtkidos]

I didn't start my period until I was almost 15 my younger sister started at 11.

I took after my Dad's family who all women started around 13-15. My sister took after my Mother's family who started between as young as 8- as old as12.

She started before me. I was a little mad, too. But, in the long run, I developed differently but just as "normally" as she did. My mother didn't let my younger sister rub it in my face. Talk to both of them seperately. Ask the younger to be careful of the older sister's feelings. Remind the older DD- different IS NORMAL- every one is DIFFERENT!!! If you are worried. about oldest DD's development..... Talk to your Pediatrician.........
~Michelle

[egwtme]

Solved!

So glad the issue solved itself so quickly. This is becoming (the older daughter starting after the younger) more and more common. I won't get into this in any detail since your family is happily home to two menstruating girls now.