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Attachment to "security objects" - do AP kids use them?

post #1 of 34
Thread Starter 
I'm interested as my 17 mo old is not attached to any object in that manner other than her mama. Some of my friends babies have a favorite teddy or binky etc. I have noticed these children are seperated from their mom during the day or sleep in another room. Any observations or comments?
post #2 of 34
No attachment to binkies or pacifiers here. She has a doll and a teddy bear that she will sometimes ask for when going to bed, but not always, and that only started about a month ago (she's 22 mos). ALL the kids and babies at her afternoon day care have a binky or pacifier. I didn't take her day care until she was 12 mos and then only for 2 hours 3 times a week.
post #3 of 34
I think this is such an interesting question. My dd1 (28 months) has never had any attachment item, other than her dad and me. No pacifiers, blankets, teddies, etc.

She'll sometimes take different things to bed with her (she does sleep on her own), but it doesn't seem to matter to her which particular stuffed animal she has. And most of the time, she doesn't bother.

I went back to work when she was 6 1/2 months old, but she was with her dad most of the time that I was working (I think she was with her childminder for about 10 hours/month on average). She's still nursing, which I'm sure helps as well.

Would love to know others' experiences.
post #4 of 34
My first ds was very attached to his pacifier and blankie (he still, at 4, will not sleep with out his special blankie) my second ds is only attached to me. I did go back to work after my first ds was born, but he was not in daycare - he was taken care of by my dh. Both kids were AP'd - family bed, EBF, in arms all the time. . .
post #5 of 34
No attachment objects here, just mama & papa (19 months old). Well and her thumb but that's always there.... She has never been in daycare, I work at home so she has had babysitters here at home, with me in every hour when needed. I haven't seen her really get attached to anything other than us, even toys.

Kim
post #6 of 34
Out my six, three had attachment objects. These three have similar personalities. I am thinking it has more to do with the temperment of the child than the style of parenting.


peggy
post #7 of 34
I'm not going to include my 1yo here, because I think it's too early to tell about him. But as for my other two (3yo and 6yo), one has never been attached to anything but me, and the other has been attached to a series of objects. Security Object Serial Monogamy, perhaps! From the time she was about 18 months, she's been attached to various dolls and stuffed animals. So, I am agreeing with Peggy, that it must have to do with the personality of the involved children.
post #8 of 34
Its was interesting, because my ds didn't have an attachment object, until after he selfweaned from nursing! Wonder if this happens w/any other kids?

Warmly~

Lisa
post #9 of 34
My 20 month old is very very attached to her "baget" (blanket) and seems to be getting more so, and not less. She is a very free spirit, very independant, so it is kind of funny.
post #10 of 34
My 5yo never used a pacifier or was attached to any particular object. I did go back to work only 6 weeks after she was born but my oder sister took care of her for me until she started kindergarden this past fall, so she wasn't in a true "daycare" environment. My sister practices AP, although she doesn't really know it. I tried to explain it to her, but it's hard to do so in Spanish. She just barks back "what do you think I've been doing with all these kids all this time, letting them cry?" Anyway, DS is waaay to little to know, but so far he doesn't use a pacifier. He does suck his thumb though....not sure if that counts
post #11 of 34
I was wondering the same thing .

My son 23 month, so far does not have an attachment object, well except me. He has been in a wonderful daycare since 2 months of age. However, he shares my bed and is still breastfeeding. Interestingly he does form very close bonds with people.
post #12 of 34
My oldest was really attached to his pacifier, my 3 yr old is attached to his pacifier and a small silky/flannel blanket. And my 1 yr old is attached to his Mama. We currently co sleep with the 2 youngest but my oldest now 9 did co sleep with us when he was younger.
post #13 of 34
Nothing for my 3. Just mom and dad. Our families don't understand this and we are inundated with blankies and stuffed animals......... We just tried saying something about it recently (please, no stuffed animals for Easter) and we were told how rude we are.

I just give the stuff away. Not the handmade blankets, but all the dust collectors, yes
post #14 of 34

Re: Attachment to "security objects" - do AP kids use them?

Quote:
Originally posted by Mellymama
I have noticed these children are seperated from their mom during the day or sleep in another room. Any observations or comments?
What does being separated from their mom during the day have to do with them being attachment parented?:
post #15 of 34
Well I am definately not an expert on all AP kids. I do know that mine have not had any security objects thus far. My DD is 8 yrs and my Ds is 11 months.
I however, sucked my thumb and slept with a security blanket until I was 18! Let's just say that my Mom was DEFINATLEY not AP.
I didn't stop sucking my thumb till I got pregnant! :
post #16 of 34
I agree with Peggy and the others who said this usually has to do with the child's personality, although I realize some kids who are suffering from a lack of attachment do cling to "mommy replacements."

My siblings and I were raised by attachment parents. Some of us had objects, some didn't. I was very shy, and I did have an object: a little dolly that I carried everywhere with me.
post #17 of 34
This is an interesting topic. My ds never had an attachment to any object until after his brother was born. Now he wants to take his trains, his football and various other things to bed with him. I think having to share his beloved mommy has been hard for him and he is seeking extra comfort and security by forming attachments to his most beloved toys. I agree with those who said that temperment is a factor. He is definitely a sensitive little boy. It is kind of bittersweet for me. I am sad that he needs to do this but happy that he has found a way to comfort himself. He still nurses and gets as much of my attention as possible, but the life he knew before baby brother was born is changed forever (sigh)!
post #18 of 34
i guess im not really "ap" but we never cry it out
and we never spank ( i think lance had two spankings in his life, but they weren't really spankings....diaper on...two swats)

anyway.

nothing special in way of objects for Alex (7 months)

Lance (now 9) always likes to take something from our house when we go somewhere

my college class called this a "Transitional Object"...helping in going from one place to another bringing stability.

it is never the same thing twice. he just likes to bring something with him.
post #19 of 34
dd has her ba (blankie), shes been veery attached to it since maybe 6mo old, shes 5 now. Never been in daycare. I don't think parenting style has much to do with it.

I
post #20 of 34
Nope,no security objects for dd(she's three). I on the other hand, spent my whole childhood attached to a my babydeers and my thumb.My mother was not very attached to me so that is where I found my solace.
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