PORN empowering vs. degrading.

[notsosuremom]

What's your view on porn.... empowering vs. degrading.
And should teen age children be allowed to view porn.

notsosuremom

[nextcommercial]

I don't think they should be allowed to view porn.

I'm not stupid enough to think they will never look at porn, but I don't think it is my job to allow it. I think it is my job to teach my daughter that porn is not real.

I would hate for my daughter to think that what she sees on the tv or in magazines is what will be expected of her when she is older. I would hate for my daughter to meet a man who was looking for a porn star in a partner.

[UnschoolnMa]

I think it can be either. I've seen erotic photos that many consider porn that I thought were totally hot and empowering. I've seen stuff that I find totally revolting.

I have shared my thoughts on most mainstream porn stuffs with the kids. Things like real women, real sizes of stuff, real intimacy vs a set, treating women (or men, but it's usually women) as objects to be used and tossed off, etc. I've also discussed porn addiction. I just like to keep the lines of communication open.

I don't go buy anyone porn, but I wasn't born yesterday.

[oceane]

I am not a mama yet and was never into porn myself but yeah, I watched some TV stuff as a teenager. I don't think I would buy anything either but I would tell them about feminist porn vs. amateur porn. I have read that those are the ones where women get abused the most as they see it as a way to get a career. So if you do want to educate you could research that. It needn't be degrading.But I also don't think it is necessary to watch porn to feel empowered and at peace with sexuality

[~PurityLake~]

I think it is degrading. I don't know how displaying one's body as a sexual object can empower a person. Not when there are so many other areas in life that can empower.

I say no to teens looking at porn.

[Jessy1019]

For me, performing was empowering. I'm not naive enough to think that's always the case, though. I don't find watching porn degrading, though.

I don't mind if my kids look at it when they're teenagers. I expect they will. My four year old understands that the things she sees in movies and on television are fake, so I don't expect her to have trouble grasping the concept as a teen.

[Yoshua]

It can be both. There is no set "this answer is right, that is wrong" answer to this question. It depends on the person performing and how they feel about it.



It is like anything else in life, take my job for instance. I can choose for it to be empowering to me because I get to help people or degrading because I get to listen to people tell me it is my personal fault they don't know how to spell jennnifer. Yes I spelled it the same way they did and because they couldn't see their own mistake I got to listen to management basically yell at me for 15 minutes about how it was my fault their email didn't go out.


I choose to see it as somewhere in the middle to be honest, and I honestly think that people in the adult film industry probably see it the same way. Some days they feel empowered, some days they feel defeated. I don't think theirs would be exactly the same as mine but no ones is.

[Moon Faerie]

Question for those of you that feel porn is degrading 100%of the time - Let's say dh and I both agree to film us having sex for our own viewing. Is this porn? If yes, who is being degraded?

[DiannaK]

degrading .....
we are MORE than the sum of our parts ....

I don't want any of my children watching it ..male or female. I can't control what they do as adults, but it's my job to begin teaching them morals and values.

[DiannaK]

Originally Posted by Nikel1979

Question for those of you that feel porn is degrading 100%of the time - Let's say dh and I both agree to film us having sex for our own viewing. Is this porn? If yes, who is being degraded?

In my opinion ... if both of you agree to it, I don't see anything wrong with it. You're the only ones having sex, and you're the only ones going to see it.

[~PurityLake~]

Originally Posted by DiannaK

degrading .....
we are MORE than the sum of our parts ....

I don't want any of my children watching it ..male or female. I can't control what they do as adults, but it's my job to begin teaching them morals and values.

I agree. It is our job as parents to protect our children, even when they are teenagers. I don't think that a child has anything positive to gain from watching porn. I disagree with a poster who suggested that teens are going to look at porn anyway. When I was a teen, I didn't look at porn. Looking at porn is not an expected human behavior. It is something taught/learned.

[warriorprincess]

Degrading, and yes, I will work to make it harder for my teens to view it.

[Jessy1019]

Originally Posted by Abi's Mom

I disagree with a poster who suggested that teens are going to look at porn anyway.

I'm pretty sure MY teens will look at it, since their mom works with it (and likely still will when they are teens). Part of my job involves searching porn sites and writing about them. If nothing else, they'll see it over my shoulder.

[~PurityLake~]

Originally Posted by Jessy1019

I'm pretty sure MY teens will look at it, since their mom works with it (and likely still will when they are teens). Part of my job involves searching porn sites and writing about them. If nothing else, they'll see it over my shoulder.

Sorry, I thought it was a general statement about all teens.
Yes, your situation is different. I'm not trying to judge anyone else's choices. I just thought I was arguing against a generalization.

[Oriole]

Ok for adults.
NOT OK for teens... :
Geeeeeeeeee..

Call me naive, but I believe that not all teens will watch porn outside the house just because their parents don't share porn dvds at home. I'm just crazy like that. I believe kids should be allowed to be kids (and teens are still kids) and should not be pushed to explore sexuality before they are ready. ( just because they bought a condom - doesn't make them ready, imho)

I haven't seen a porn movie until I was in early 20s. Looked kind a sick to me, but my curiousity was satisfied. I have established myself in a loving, commited relationship by then, and was curious about it. We rented a movie. That was it for me.

I think if your teen asks about porn - surely can be a point of an interesting dicussion, but allowing a teen to watch porn under this roof? No thank you.
There is a net-nanny on DSD's computer, and plenty of discussion on staying safe on-line.

Bothers me very much to see how fast our kids' innocence goes out the window

[~PurityLake~]

Originally Posted by Oriole

Ok for adults.
NOT OK for teens... :
Geeeeeeeeee..

Call me naive, but I believe that not all teens will watch porn outside the house just because their parents don't share porn dvds at home. I'm just crazy like that. I believe kids should be allowed to be kids (and teens are still kids) and should not be pushed to explore sexuality before they are ready. ( just because they bought a condom - doesn't make them ready, imho)

I haven't seen a porn movie until I was in early 20s. Looked kind a sick to me, but my curiousity was satisfied. I have established myself in a loving, commited relationship by then, and was curious about it. We rented a movie. That was it for me.

I think if your teen asks about porn - surely can be a point of an interesting dicussion, but allowing a teen to watch porn under this roof? No thank you.
There is a net-nanny on DSD's computer, and plenty of discussion on staying safe on-line.

Bothers me very much to see how fast our kids' innocence goes out the window

I agree with you.
However, I still don't think it's okay for adults, either. But that's just my opinion.

ETA: when I say not okay, I mean not a morally good choice.

[Oriole]

Originally Posted by Nikel1979

Question for those of you that feel porn is degrading 100%of the time - Let's say dh and I both agree to film us having sex for our own viewing. Is this porn? If yes, who is being degraded?

Nah, I think that's fun. Whatever works for you and your husband Completely different! (Assuming you are not showing it to your teenage kids )

At the same time, if you were 16 and asked the same question - my reply would differ.

[Sea_Guy]

Porn: Awful at any age

Pornography is degrading. :

Note the period at the end of the last sentence. There are no exceptions to this simple fact. "Soft-core" or "hard-core" porn is destructive, to both the makers and viewers.

"Fact?" you say with horror and amazement at something so ludicrous?

Yes, fact. That is why there are so many counseling centers that help people with addiction to pornography. It is addictive. It distorts healthy perceptions about sexuality. People begin to associate certain emotions with pornography instead of with their spouse. If this is done by someone outside of marriage, of course it causes them to associate these emotions with some-thing/-one other than their spouse--they don't have one at that point. (Something? Yes. Body parts, not your lover, but their [insert attractive body part of choice]. Or anybody else's attractive body part of reader's choice.) It causes the awkwardness that so many of us have experienced when we are looked at as sexual objects. (Ew, creepy!) (Yes, this has happened to me, as a man. Again: ew, creepy!) Even couples with otherwise healthy sex lives that delve into this so often have hardship because something unhealthy was introduced to their intimacy. One begins to desire what they saw Jack or Jill do but their spouse doesn't want to, and potentially destructive tensions arise.

Don't get me wrong: I love my wife's ... well never mind. She's attractive, I love her, she loves me, and we have a good sex life. We teach each other what we like, and it's wonderful. We don't need to see others having sex to have a fun and enriching sex life. There are some publications that are instructive and can help a couple seeking new ideas without being vulgar and degrading. Choose wisely.

Those who partake in porn in marriage without their spouse: it is often viewed by the other spouse as infidelity. This caused a great deal of heartache to my mother. She was left with feelings of inadequacy. She was not the one with problem, it was her husband and his selfishness that caused her heartache. Each couple should work out what they are comfortable with, and enjoy. Leave Jack and Jill out of it.

As far as the argument that "it's fake and we all know it:" yeah, people know that most violent films are fake too. It doesn't stop repetition of unhealthy behavior and a more violent outlook on life. Just watch the evening news if you don't agree.

Sex: Good in marriage. Porn: Bad. Period.
Simple lessons that a kindergartner can understand.

[trinity6232000]

Personally I don't have a problem with porn. I'm not going to be buying porn or allowing internet
access to it in my home for my dd to watch as a teen though. If she wants to look at porn, she can
wait until she's paying for it herself. If she is an adult and still living in my home it's not something
I would have a problem with.

I've never been creeped out by porn. I don't believe that porn takes a normal adjusted person and
turns them into somebody else. If somebody is looking for something to help them escape their life
then they will find it. Be it porn, workaholics, drug addiction. IMO porn is the symptom of the bigger
problem, not the disease that starts it.

PS-I don't think that people who look at porn aren't well adjusted people, and I
also don't believe that simply looking at porn means a person has problems.

[wildecent]

i think it's a problem because it makes unrealistic sexual situations seem plausible/normal.i've met grown women who fake orgasams because they think having a real one "will take too long"they want to have that porn experience(or,more icky,give the partner the experiance they think he "deserves") even as they don't seem to realise they are cheating themselves out of real sex and letting their partner go through life thinking that women come on cue all the time.that said sexual outlets from teens are important,porn is out there wether it empowers or degrades,i think it's important to keep open lines of communication about sex,morals,ideas,and give enough space for the kids to own their own sexual life/morals/ideas...