Parents who do things differently (no "sigh") - Page 8

[mammal_mama]

Originally Posted by sparklefairy

Is this possible to avoid if you sprout your own?

(Sprouts are pretty easy to produce.)

Yes, I wonder about this too, because we sprout our own.

[Zach'smom]

Originally Posted by MaryTheres

2tadpoles, I know this is off topic but how do you accomplish this? I ask only because my DS loves to walk around and eat... He walks all around the house eating (raisans, animal crackers, goldfish and pretzles and "sharing" his snack with the dog... If he has to sit and eat he often will not eat (I think he gets bored sitting to eat). Anyway, do you have any tips for 'raising children to sit and eat nicely"? TIA

Ds is 5 yrs and I don't think he has ever sat and ate nicely. But nobody in our house is allowed to walk around with food. Meals and snacks are eaten at the table. It can be the kitchen table, dining room table, patio table, picnic table, restaurant table... you get the idea. That is the way it has always been. That is all ds has ever known. When he is done eating he is free to get up and leave whenever he is ready.

[UUMom]

I know a really cool mama who had a couple of very old carseats. They worried me, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything, since I couldn't do anything about them . When I moved my kids to boosters, I gave her my Britax. Just said "We're done with these, do you want them?" And she did. Maybe keep her in mind when you upgrade or something?

As for junk food...I don't like to buy too much junk, but my kids have eaten junk. However, what I have noticed with the now- grown friends of my oldest (who is 18) is that they do not appear any worse for wear. They seem very smart, I don't see a lot of overweight kids (mostly because of socioeconomic reasons, I think) or sickly kids. It seems genetics trumps all.

The girl I knew who ate crap everyday (and I adored her mother)-- and I mean- fruit rollups, ho ho's, creamsicles by the box, is an absolutely stunning, slender, athletic 18 yr old with amazing muscle definition and a good brain that got her into a highly selective college. Plus, she's generous as can be, with no food baggage. Sometimes when I see her, I recall her preschool lunch box of rainbow colors...and I remember how horrified I was. Now I think 'What did I worry about again?"

This doesn't mean I buy tons of food for my kids that I don't think are good for them...but as I've watched all these kids grow into healthy older teens (we've lived in the same general area for nearly 19 yrs), that stuff seems so far away and just not relevant.

[Demeter9]

Originally Posted by avent

I can totally see the OP's point about the food, the car seat, not so much.

I think as a society we have moved away from our children's natural inclinations to eat the right foods. And I say this as someone who really struggled to get my son to eat, so I'm not clueless to the frustration and tears of having a child who doesn't eat much.

But I don't understand the "that's all my child will eat" mentality, I really don't. What would you have done 100 years ago then, before blue applesauce and fruit chews and chicken nuggets? I'm really asking. I feel I can never get a good answer to this question IRL from the "that's all I can get my child to eat" mamas. So I'm asking here.

By the way, research done in the 1930s showed a correlation between the nutrition a child receives and their level of criminal activity. I do think having an adequately fed populace, that receives all of the nutrients needed for healthy human life, affects the levels of things like crime and war. I think people are born knowing instinctively what they need to eat (like all animals) and if we don't provide that somewhere inside they know their needs are not being met and it affects how they feel about society and their place in it. On the surface they are gobbling down swirly applesauce and smiling through sticky teeth, but underneath I think they know they're being ripped off.

Go ahead, rip me to shreds!

ETA: Not that this opinion causes me to say anything aloud to other mamas, I think they should do what they want. But I felt I had to address the "my child eats only this" and the "there's a war going on" parts of the discussion.

I agree with you incidentally. Because we get worked up about children "eating" doesn't mean that they are going to die because they didn't get McDonalds daily.

<edit to say - MOST children do not have to have therapy to eat. And sometimes those that do have issues are being fed things that make them WORSE anyways.>

[ShadowMom]

Originally Posted by siennasmom

I am NOT judging, I promise , but just as an FYI, sprouts can harbor salmonella and e. coli, and it's pretty much impossible to wash it off. I happen to love sprout sandwiches, too, but I'm too nervous to feed them to my kids. It's not a huge risk, but I am a big chicken when it comes to e. coli.

Isn't that the case with a lot of things, though? Cantaloupe comes to mind.

[pigpokey]

Originally Posted by amitymama

Seriously? Sorry, that just made me

If I received a letter from a parent about the da-dum-DUM 'dangers of artificial colors' along with research on preservatives and had a finger wagged in my face for daring to expose their little Johnny to such horrors, I would laugh my butt off. Then I would tear up the letter and laugh some more. Then I would go out and buy bright blue applesauce and send my kids to school with it everyday and enjoy the thought of that parent's head exploding.

Well I know it will not likely send him to the hospital like a severe peanut allergy, but I will assume that you simply don't understand that if he eats a bright green popsicle, he will be within minutes screaming and pounding on the floor in whatever agony is going on inside him. Otherwise, you would realize it's not my head that's going to explode, it's my heart for my child's suffering.

I assume you are not a sadist, but just ignorant of food coloring reaction.

I'm glad you don't have children who react to food colorings.

[Chavelamomela]

Okay, okay.

I WAS WRONG!!!!
I WAS JUDGEMENTAL!!!
I WAS THOUGHTLES!!!

: : :

YES, you are right that I was quick to judge this more experienced mom...

And yes THE TITLE OF THE POST WAS BAD TOO...EVEN THE "SIGH"

Now everyone thinks I am uptight judgmental mom with a super-easy
kid who thinks everyone else should be exactly like me...um, not quite.

But yeah, I love my kid to bits, have a great relationship with him, and do with that society was more encouraging of healthy parenting practices...sigh...(can I put a "sigh" here?)

[Nature]

Originally Posted by Chavelamomela

Okay, okay.

I WAS WRONG!!!!
I WAS JUDGEMENTAL!!!
I WAS THOUGHTLES!!!

: : :

YES, you are right that I was quick to judge this more experienced mom...

And yes THE TITLE OF THE POST WAS BAD TOO...EVEN THE "SIGH"

Now everyone thinks I am uptight judgmental mom with a super-easy
kid who thinks everyone else should be exactly like me...um, not quite.

But yeah, I love my kid to bits, have a great relationship with him, and do with that society was more encouraging of healthy parenting practices...sigh...(can I put a "sigh" here?)

Encouragement is wonderful. Judgment, not quite so much.

[ShadowMom]

Originally Posted by Chavelamomela

Okay, okay.

I WAS WRONG!!!!
I WAS JUDGEMENTAL!!!
I WAS THOUGHTLES!!!

: : :

YES, you are right that I was quick to judge this more experienced mom...

And yes THE TITLE OF THE POST WAS BAD TOO...EVEN THE "SIGH"

Now everyone thinks I am uptight judgmental mom with a super-easy
kid who thinks everyone else should be exactly like me...um, not quite.

But yeah, I love my kid to bits, have a great relationship with him, and do with that society was more encouraging of healthy parenting practices...sigh...(can I put a "sigh" here?)

I'm impressed you stuck around, mama. You must be cool.

[avent]

Originally Posted by Chavelamomela

Now everyone thinks I am uptight judgmental mom with a super-easy
kid who thinks everyone else should be exactly like me...um, not quite.

I don't think that at all. You sound like a great mom who cares about what's going on around you.

[BusyMommy]

Originally Posted by Qestia

If her kids are happy and well-adjusted and her carseat does meet safety standards what exactly, is the problem?

Well, after the fact but :.

And, I gotta say this is more my rxn on principle even tho we can't do sugar, etc:

if I received a letter from a parent about the da-dum-DUM 'dangers of artificial colors' along with research on preservatives and had a finger wagged in my face for daring to expose MY little Johnny to such horrors, I would laugh my butt off. Then I would tear up the letter and laugh some more.

BUT I agree, OP you're pretty cool to stick around and to care about (your) kids!


oh btw: you can edit your title if you want--just do an "Advanced" edit. fyi

eta: just clarifying thh quote to include my kid--no-one else's

[offwing]

Originally Posted by Chavelamomela

Now everyone thinks I am uptight judgmental mom with a super-easy kid who thinks everyone else should be exactly like me...um, not quite.

I didn't think any of those things ... I only thought you were stuggling a bit on when to MYOB!

[mammal_mama]

Originally Posted by offwing

I didn't think any of those things ... I only thought you were stuggling a bit on when to MYOB!

Yes, I don't think anyone was trying to just slam you into the ground. To echo some other posters, you asked what we thought and we responded. I think many of us have had our own judgmental moments. Don't sweat it!

[Strong Mama]

I'm impressed you stuck around, mama. You must be cool.

Yea, mama, you rock!

[amitymama]

Originally Posted by pigpokey

Well I know it will not likely send him to the hospital like a severe peanut allergy, but I will assume that you simply don't understand that if he eats a bright green popsicle, he will be within minutes screaming and pounding on the floor in whatever agony is going on inside him. Otherwise, you would realize it's not my head that's going to explode, it's my heart for my child's suffering.

I assume you are not a sadist, but just ignorant of food coloring reaction.

I'm glad you don't have children who react to food colorings.

If your child reacts that badly to food colorings, then it is YOUR job and HIS job to avoid eating it. Why should ALL the children at his school be disallowed from bringing it/eating it because of your son's reaction to it? I assume the illness is not airborne like a peanut allergy and must be physically ingested to have the severe reaction you described above. The teachers should be supervising the lunch period and making sure he doesn't swap food with anyone (if he's not old enough to understand, though I would think even a relatively young child could understand the importance of not trading food if he's had such severe problems from it).

I'm sorry your DC has such a reaction to these things, I really am, but it's just not fair or practical to force other parents to abide by YOUR rules for one child, and for something that is easily avoided -- JUST DON'T SHARE FOOD.

[runes]

op...i don't think that you were being judgemental. i think that some people reacted (consciously or subconsciously) to your thread title, but i don't think your concern is out of line.

listen, i was called judgemental because i happened to mention to a mama, out of my concern for her dd, that there was a lot of sugar in the not one but two containers of soy yogurt that her child was eating per day. it says so, plain as day, right there on the container, and i wasn't spouting off opinion, nor did i even suggest that she might want to find another food that wasn't as sugary. i stated a fact, neutrally, and was seen as being judgemental. sometimes you just can't win, no matter what. and i learned the lesson the hard way, that no matter how caring or neutral you are, someone somewhere is going to take you for a judgemental b!tch for even mentioning it. c'est la vie, unfortunately.

as for the car seat issue, your concerns are valid as well. it's so funny to me that everyone says that YOU are being judgemental for noticing that a car seat is unsafe/expired...BUT it's fine if you have the friendly neighborhood car seat tech come by and give her the same advice.

i'm sure most pediatricians out there would say that foods with artifical colors, hfcs, processed/bleached grains etc. are not even close to being optimal nutrition. in fact, i would venture to guess that many of them would suggest that this food is to be avoided for the most part.

it's considered ADVICE for a doctor to say that to a mother, but it's miraculously judgemental for one mother to say the SAME THING to another mother?

by the way, i love my pediatrician's office. right when you walk in, there is a big pile of junk food (soda, candies, fruit roll ups etc) on the receptionists counter, with a whole bunch of nutritional information flyers. on the soda bottle is a sign that says "DIABETES IN A BOTTLE" in big black block letters. it's ok for my doctor to do this, but if i (for instance...i really would not do this because i'm not a very confrontational person) walked up to a mother that was giving their child some sugar laden beverage, and i said "hey mama, do you know that soda is basically diabetes in a bottle"...i can only imagine the choice ua violation words that i would be called here.

:

[BusyMommy]

Originally Posted by kidspiration

on the soda bottle is a sign that says "DIABETES IN A BOTTLE" in big black block letters. it's ok for my doctor to do this,

THAT is cool!

[runes]

Originally Posted by amitymama

Seriously? Sorry, that just made me

If I received a letter from a parent about the da-dum-DUM 'dangers of artificial colors' along with research on preservatives and had a finger wagged in my face for daring to expose their little Johnny to such horrors, I would laugh my butt off. Then I would tear up the letter and laugh some more. Then I would go out and buy bright blue applesauce and send my kids to school with it everyday and enjoy the thought of that parent's head exploding.

this statement stands out to me as the single most judgemental, and perhaps the SADDEST post i've ever seen on mdc.

:

[BusyMommy]

No, no, I disagree. There was one on the peanut allergy post that struck me more forcibly.

ya know, I'm not going to lecture someone else on how to feed their own children but when OUR actions affect OTHER'S kids, that's totally different. As a quick example, my son has tree nut allergies yet Moms would still send in trailmix and cookies w/nuts. :

[Zach'smom]

If the carseat is expired and unsafe just tell her. I had no idea that carseats expired until someone told me. I was very thankful that another mama told me about that. The thought never crossed my sleep deprived mind.

The food issue is a snarky one. Pretty much no matter what you feed your children someone is going to feel that they are feeding their kids better things. It is impossible for that not to happen.

I would really feel awful if someone thought I had low standards because of something my child eats. I love him more then anything and everyday try to do what is best for him. Saying that a caring mama with well adjusted kids has low standards just seems kind of harsh.