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Parents who do things differently (no "sigh") - Page 2

post #21 of 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chavelamomela View Post
Am being too judgmental? What do you do?
I am thinking of gently speaking with the mother about the carseat, but I won't touch the kids diet with a 10-foot pole.
Yes, I think you are. You can tell her about the out dated carseat if you must but that's about it IMO. The other things are simply judgmental.
post #22 of 235
Quote:
Am being too judgmental?
Yes.
post #23 of 235
I would talk to the teacher about food sharing- I would be having an absolute fit if my kids were getting food dyes at school. My kids really react badly to that stuff. But I'd bring it up with the teachers, not with any of the parents sending in the junk.

I'm not sure how to ask about carseat safety. She could be using a very old, expired seat and not know any better, nor have resources to replace it. Or she could have a fairly new seat that's the old style. I know I went crazy looking for an inexpensive seat that didn't have the overhead shield when DS ws a baby. Kmart didn't carry any, Babies R Us didn't carry any, and I had to schlepp out to Walmart (quite far from my house) to get one. Of course, they had a bunch of convertible seats with the shield and only one without. That was only 5 years ago.

If the seat is "clearly very old" then it may no longer be safe. Maybe you can ask the teachers at school if they could talk to her about carseat safety, or pass along information? There's probably no way to approach her directly without it coming across all wrong.
post #24 of 235
that sort of stuff bugs me. especially the poor nutrition. those car seats are surprisingly still on the market and meet all current safety standards. and I have met people who surprisingly were looking for them. But you have to remember that minimum safety standards are still safety standards and her car seat is as safe as it needs to be for her comfort. So long as it is installed and used properly and current it would be snotty to say that it just isn't good enough.

as for the food, the only time I would speak up is she started whining about how chubby her kids are. My neighbor whines about how her children inherited their chubbiness but really all they inherited is that they eat at fast food restaurents 40+ times a month (no exaggeration)! I would also talk to the school about not allowing kids to share. it is just too dangerous these days. Preferences aside. but also it might be worth it to remind the teachers that you choose your child's food carefully and would rather them not eat anything without your permission.

If you really feel you must do something to address the car seat thing could you maybe talk to the car seat safety people and to the school and schedule some sort of after school car seat safety check (hey its for everyone convenience right )
post #25 of 235
I would mention the carseat. That's an issue of child safety which I think every parent is concerned with, regardless of parenting style. As far as the food goes, as long as their are rules which keep their kids from sharing...well, the world is full of different people
post #26 of 235
Lots of parents love the Over the head Shields. I told my mom i wanted one of those....needless to say I know better now. My DS rides in a Raidan. They are usually cheaper than 5 point models. My DS rode in one for nearly three years, and I am sorry but I would feel judged if someone told me I needed a better carseat..a link for carseat safety or other helpful info yes. ...but just saying its not good blah blah. That doesn't help.

I would much rather a child ride in a cheap over the head shield carseat than no carseat at all.

As for diet. LOTS of parents think, juice and kids items are healthy eating. Most parents don't blink an eye at the label. My own sister was like..Sprite has fruit juice in it..its okay to drink

Just a few thoughts
post #27 of 235
Yes, I think you are being too judgemental.

If her carseats appear to be outdated, I would consider saying something. But as far as I know, they do still make overhead shield seats, so they could be just fine.

As far as the food goes ... well, I'd tell myself she probably thinks applesauce and apple juice are healthy because they are fruit, kwim?

It's really not your place to get involved, and while I can understand not wanting to expose your kid to artificial dyes, I'd take that up with the teacher.

Even at 2, they can keep the kids from sharing. My son went to a wonderful Waldorf preschool last year with 2-4 year olds and they all sat down at the table and I never saw food sharing going on. The teachers sweetly helped each kid eat their meal.. it's quite possible and I'd take that up with the teacher.
post #28 of 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by pigpokey View Post
If my son was being exposed to artificial colors, which affect his quality of life, at school, I would ask the school to change policy. I would provide them with some of the research on the food colorings and benzoate preservatives and help them write a letter to give to all parents about the necessity of keeping this stuff out of food sent to school that might be shared with other children.
I would teach my son not to share food that other children bring to school.
post #29 of 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by mistymama View Post
If her carseats appear to be outdated, I would consider saying something. But as far as I know, they do still make overhead shield seats, so they could be just fine.

.
They still make them. They aren't 'just fine'.
post #30 of 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by Finch View Post
Ah, to worry about stuff like this....:

My 3.5 y.o. (who has a feeding disorder and autism, among other things...) eats that fruity applesauce. We're thrilled. We can mix his enzymes in it. It's something that's sort of got texture to it (as in not a smooth puree...which take up about 50% of his diet...) and he actually eats it! Willingly!

When you're dropping wads of cash...as in 5 digits...every year out of pocket to pay for stuff like therapy and weighted blankets, etc., you really don't sweat about stuff like "omg, is this applesauce organic and dye free?" Who cares. Bigger fish to fry, much more important stuff to worry about in the universe.

Priorities. Gotta love 'em.
Dude. Word.

Every time I see someone post "OMG junk food!" or "Oh noes I saw a kid eating cookies and white pasta!" I cringe a little.

I feed my kid apple juice, because she will drink it. If I thought she would happily eat bright blue Barney applesauce with candy sprinkles, I would buy 2 packages. Maybe your kid will drink organic goat's milk and eat sprouted bread sandwiches. Lucky you..
post #31 of 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chavelamomela View Post
The annoying part is that when she sends junk to school, all the kids share and me (and all the other mommies) hate when our kids get such junk.

I guess this is just one of those things that we can't do anything about...
yes, you can do something about it. Get on the parent board, and push the agenda of the school having a policy that children are to have healthy snacks to eat and then give examples for the parents. And a policy on drinks, such as, "we expect juice once a day, and otherwise water or milk (mainstream), or a milk alternative for other drinks."

My children's school and daycare do this.
post #32 of 235
If the carseat is old (and not just the old style) I would definalty say something. My friend has her 4yo ds in an ancient (at least 8 years old) overhead shield carseat he is too big for. I mentioned my concern to her but she feels he "looks safer" in that rather than a booster (buying a new higher limit carseat is totoally out of the quetion). I mentioned getting a new booster for him (her booster is also one of the ancient ones with a bar across) and she said she thinks they are too expensive and the old one is "just fine" when he needs it. But I had to mention it because I know she doesn't use internet or anythying, and honestly she was really suprised a carseat *could* be unsafe. Some people just don't know
post #33 of 235
Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Finch
Ah, to worry about stuff like this....

My 3.5 y.o. (who has a feeding disorder and autism, among other things...) eats that fruity applesauce. We're thrilled. We can mix his enzymes in it. It's something that's sort of got texture to it (as in not a smooth puree...which take up about 50% of his diet...) and he actually eats it! Willingly!

When you're dropping wads of cash...as in 5 digits...every year out of pocket to pay for stuff like therapy and weighted blankets, etc., you really don't sweat about stuff like "omg, is this applesauce organic and dye free?" Who cares. Bigger fish to fry, much more important stuff to worry about in the universe.

Priorities. Gotta love 'em.

Dude. Word.

Every time I see someone post "OMG junk food!" or "Oh noes I saw a kid eating cookies and white pasta!" I cringe a little.

I feed my kid apple juice, because she will drink it. If I thought she would happily eat bright blue Barney applesauce with candy sprinkles, I would buy 2 packages. Maybe your kid will drink organic goat's milk and eat sprouted bread sandwiches. Lucky you..

Dude again, totally. My son drinks cups and cups of juice a day, because he will drink it!! Applesauce? HAH! My son wouldnt dream of eating it, and I have tried with those fruity things. He eats cookies/fries/processed nuggets, mcdonalds almost DAILY because...well..thats all he WILL eat!!

Maybe the lady cant afford a new car seat. Or organic, or maybe that is all her kids would eat. I think it is sweet of you to care about those children that arent even your own, but losing sleep over this issue is just a waste of time. I know mamas glare at me at the play center because my child is eating choc ice cream and they are trying to force their kids to eat celery and stuff and their kids are looking at my kid thinking id rather eat ice cream but hey, i really dont give a stuff!
post #34 of 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama2Bug View Post
Dude. Word.

Every time I see someone post "OMG junk food!" or "Oh noes I saw a kid eating cookies and white pasta!" I cringe a little.

I feed my kid apple juice, because she will drink it. If I thought she would happily eat bright blue Barney applesauce with candy sprinkles, I would buy 2 packages. Maybe your kid will drink organic goat's milk and eat sprouted bread sandwiches. Lucky you..
: My kid is a picky eater and at this point I have relaxed my ideas if it means she eats.

To the OP, I think your heart is in the right place but yes you are being extremely judgemental, if the kids are happy and well-adjusted then she probably is doing the best she can.

Shay
post #35 of 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by pigpokey View Post
If my son was being exposed to artificial colors, which affect his quality of life, at school, I would ask the school to change policy. I would provide them with some of the research on the food colorings and benzoate preservatives and help them write a letter to give to all parents about the necessity of keeping this stuff out of food sent to school that might be shared with other children.
Seriously? Sorry, that just made me

If I received a letter from a parent about the da-dum-DUM 'dangers of artificial colors' along with research on preservatives and had a finger wagged in my face for daring to expose their little Johnny to such horrors, I would laugh my butt off. Then I would tear up the letter and laugh some more. Then I would go out and buy bright blue applesauce and send my kids to school with it everyday and enjoy the thought of that parent's head exploding.
post #36 of 235
Er, I love the way everyone thinks that someone is being judgmental only when the issue in question is one that that person does not care much about. example: I don't care about artificial colours in food; therefore, you are being judgmental when you say that you care about them and want to do something about it that involves another parent.

I'm sure if this lady was smacking her children every day, many responses would be different. Oh, but I keep forgetting, gentle discipline is important, no matter how "difficult" one's child is. Food is not, so if you have a picky eater, no one should judge what you give your child. Right, that makes so much sense. Thanks for clearing that up for me.

If someone spanked her child in front of my child (and especially at my house) I would say something. If someone's child is feeding my child junk, I say something. I happen to be one of those mothers who is fussy about both. Sooooooorrrrryyyyyy.
post #37 of 235
OMG, apple juice means you're a bad mom? Relax.

You know, on MDC, people love to talk about the stuff they do that is perfect, like some sort of competition. But they also avoid talking about the stuff they don't do. Like when some newbie posts a thread asking, "What is crunchy?" and people make an impossible list of requirements they think MDC members fulfill. No one is "perfect," and maybe the mom who only feeds her child organic macrobiotic foods and has no plastic in her home and sews her own cloth diapers and rear-faces her child seats and breastfeeds until the age of 8 - that imaginary mom - maybe she emotionally warps her kids, or maybe she is just an uptight martinet.

Or maybe most of us here don't have such an issue with food.
post #38 of 235
You're being way too judgmental. You don't know her situation at all and shouldn't be pointing your perfect fingers at her. :

My kids drink apple juice. Probably way too much of it. But you know what? Its better than soda. There are a million things worse than apple juice. She has a carseat that isn't rated the best? You've got to be kidding me......
post #39 of 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nature View Post
You're being way too judgmental. You don't know her situation at all and shouldn't be pointing your perfect fingers at her. :
How do you know she does not know the situation?

We give our DD apple juice, at breakfast. Organic, not-from-concentrate apple juice. That and whole wheat toast with butter or cream cheese. I think the OP was referring to the habit of drinking apple juice all day, which causes rotten teeth, a sweet tooth, bad eating habits, etc. And I think she was also more concerned about the food with artificial colours and the fact that it is being shared with her own kids. I don't normally interfere with what other people feed their kids but I get really annoyed when their food is given to my kid. Leaving aside the nutritional value, how do they know that my child is not allergic, or diabetic, or has some other behavioural condition affected by junk food?
post #40 of 235
I think the food sharing is a different subject and one that should be taken up with the staff. If a policy is in place, the parents will have to abide by it. As of now however, there seems to be no policy or no penalty for breaking it. That is their issue, not the mothers. Take it up with them.

I agree, I don't want anyone sharing their food with my children. If allergies were present that would be very bad. At the same time, I would try my hardest to teach my child not to take other peoples food. I know it can be done. My best friend has a child with diabetes, and she cannot just accept food from people or take food. At two years old she knows to say no, and doesn't try to take it because she knows it could be dangerous for her.

And I think if there were more to the story that the OP probably would have shared it already. So I assume the list of judgmental observations are all there is.
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