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Parents who do things differently (no "sigh") - Page 3

post #41 of 235
I cannot understand how on earth any of this is your business.

You need to teach your child to eat his/her own food if you are so afraid they might eat something you don't approve of.
post #42 of 235
Thanks for reminding me how much my boy loves ho-hos! Off to the store now!

Seriously - don't we ALL have areas to improve our parenting skills w/o pointing fingers at others?
post #43 of 235
Drinking Juice is No Better than Drinking Soda

Just an FYI. My kids drink both. Can't really police 'em once they're not underfoot 24/7.
post #44 of 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2tadpoles View Post
Drinking Juice is No Better than Drinking Soda

Just an FYI. My kids drink both. Can't really police 'em once they're not underfoot 24/7.
Thanks for the link! I knew that juice was as bad a soda in terms of the link to obesity but I had no idea about the liver damage! Very interesting...
post #45 of 235
Thread Starter 
Okay, let me clarify:

I am not uptight. I am not crazy or intolerant of other parent's choices. I don't only give my kid sprouts and tofu (who actually can get their toddler to eat that?!). We don't eat take-out (we keep kosher, which also limits choices and means Mcdonald's isn't even an option) I just would rather he not eat foods like cake, cookies, foods full of transfats, candy, etc. Yes, I do give him treats, and he generally eats well. And I recognize that other parents are not necessarily as choosy as I am about this, and put their energies elsewhere. I am not judging anyone.

Now, as for the head-teacher in the daycare, I agree that she should have more control over the sharing...she just doesn't. She is a sweet older lady, who is very nurturing (very AP-like), compassionate, etc. But as there are a bunch of 1-2 y.o. toddler running around, often with ziplocks of crackers, cookies, etc, it is very difficult to stop the sharing. Even she hates the artificial garbage and chooses to not feed that to the kid, and instead uses the school's applesauce for that kid.

(I guess I am glad in that regard that my ds just entered the 2-3 y.o. group.)

I simply was venting and asked if it's appropriate to say something. I appreciate the honest answers and understand the consensus that it's probably not a good idea, unless the carseat is a serious safety issue (i.e. over 5 years old).

I guess i forgot how much my words would be over-analyzed and ripped apart. It's such a difference when you hear a reply like:

"I think it's very sweet that you wish you could help them be healthier and safer.

It's too bad you can't fix them all... sigh"

rather than

"yes, you are being way too judgemental"

Yes, I still enjoy MDC, and like seeing e/o's opinions. I just think everyone (collectively) over-reacted and over-judged a bit.
post #46 of 235
Don't you hate it when you get judged for being judgmental?
post #47 of 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chavelamomela View Post
I simply was venting and asked if it's appropriate to say something. I appreciate the honest answers and understand the consensus that it's probably not a good idea, unless the carseat is a serious safety issue (i.e. over 5 years old).

I guess i forgot how much my words would be over-analyzed and ripped apart. It's such a difference when you hear a reply like:

"I think it's very sweet that you wish you could help them be healthier and safer.

It's too bad you can't fix them all... sigh"

rather than

"yes, you are being way too judgemental"

Yes, I still enjoy MDC, and like seeing e/o's opinions. I just think everyone (collectively) over-reacted and over-judged a bit.
Why are your surprised that people answered your actual question:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chavelamomela View Post

Am being too judgmental?
post #48 of 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by mtiger View Post
Why are your surprised that people answered your actual question:
Oh, I think that in real life, we tend to be a lot more tactful and encouraging in our responses, even to direct questions.
post #49 of 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chavelamomela View Post

I guess i forgot how much my words would be over-analyzed and ripped apart. It's such a difference when you hear a reply like:

"I think it's very sweet that you wish you could help them be healthier and safer.

It's too bad you can't fix them all... sigh"

rather than

"yes, you are being way too judgemental"

Yes, I still enjoy MDC, and like seeing e/o's opinions. I just think everyone (collectively) over-reacted and over-judged a bit.
true. true. The old adage "it takes a village..." would certainly apply here...that is, *if* our culture could apply it. As it stands, it wouldn't fly, simply because the majority of people aren't going to thank you for pointing out their weak spots, kwim? It is nice that you're concerned for other children...I am, too....and I have a hard time refraining from saying something when I see a child treated in a way that is harmful to them...but...I say it to my DH, who has a better ear (i.e. more accapting) for it then the parents of the child.
As far as the sharing is concerned...while I wouldn't want my child/ren getting the hands on gnarly, over-processed crap...hey, at least the children are sharing with one another. That's gotta count for something, right? As long as you keep your children eating high-quality food at home, then that's what the bulk of their intake will be...
post #50 of 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmlp View Post

If someone spanked her child in front of my child (and especially at my house) I would say something. If someone's child is feeding my child junk, I say something. I happen to be one of those mothers who is fussy about both. Sooooooorrrrryyyyyy.
No need to apologize for being fussy. You have every right to be fussy about what you feed your kids. That's why I'm okay with taking up the sharing/bringing healthy snacks issue.

What I do find judgemental is telling other people about their food choices which is the issue we're discussing here I think. ETA: Especially since I don't think anyone can judge someone's diet from just watching them a few hours a day/days a week. Maybe it's true, maybe the person whose child is seen with a bottle of juice is guzzling down a gallon or more a day but OTOH maybe it's two bottles a day. One at drop-off and one at pick-up. I think it's impossible to know unless one is following the person around all day and night.

I don't think that making less than ideal food choices is equivalent to spanking.
post #51 of 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmlp View Post
Oh, I think that in real life, we tend to be a lot more tactful and encouraging in our responses, even to direct questions.
There is no we.
post #52 of 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmlp View Post
Oh, I think that in real life, we tend to be a lot more tactful and encouraging in our responses, even to direct questions.
Possibly.

But what some see as being "tactful," I call "sugar-coating."

It's part of the reason I like online forums. People are usually more honest, even if the truth hurts.
post #53 of 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama2Bug View Post
I feed my kid apple juice, because she will drink it. If I thought she would happily eat bright blue Barney applesauce with candy sprinkles, I would buy 2 packages. Maybe your kid will drink organic goat's milk and eat sprouted bread sandwiches. Lucky you..
This made me seriously LOL.

I agree, if the allergy and sensitivity thing is a concern, take it up with the school and/or TRY to teach your child not to accept food (I say try because I know darn well this would be near impossible with ds...). I understand getting upset about that, that's a legit health concern.

The carseat thing makes me raise an eyebrow, but the mom in me who's seen much much much worse thinks, hell, at least the kid is restrained.

As for being concerned with what this mom feed her kids in general sheerly for the sake of not agreeing with her choices, well, it's nunya. I'd tear somebody's head off if they commented on what my ds eats/doesn't eat. You don't always know the whole story from HER side either. My ds looks "normal." You'd never guess he has a feeding disorder, but indeed he does. I about turned a cartwheel yesterday when he actually asked for and ate a real, whole banana (cut into pieces of course). : He wouldn't eat the ends of the banana, though, 'cause they weren't cut into perfect little banana circles......this is my world.
post #54 of 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chavelamomela View Post
I simply was venting and asked if it's appropriate to say something. unless the carseat is a serious safety issue (i.e. over 5 years old).
If you decide to mention the carseat to the Mama and you are really concerned... offer to pay for the carseat out of your pocket.

Perhaps the Mama is not in a financial position to buy an appopriate car seat at this time...because what can she do with your advice if she isn't?
post #55 of 235
The snack sharing issue at school is just that, a snack sharing issue at school, and should be addressed with the teacher.

Quote:
"She is a sweet older lady, who is very nurturing (very AP-like), compassionate, etc. But as there are a bunch of 1-2 y.o. toddler running around, often with ziplocks of crackers, cookies, etc, it is very difficult to stop the sharing."

As far as the teacher being an older woman that doesn't have a grip on the children during snack times and that the children are running around with their food, well I won't even go there with what I think of that!

I admit that I would pull my child from any school that sent a super specific list of what they deem appropriate foods for my child. I feed my boys EVERYTHING! I feed them whole natural foods and I guess what some would consider junk...basically my boys eat everything. I can honestly say that if someone approached me because they saw my son eating a fruit roll everyday I would be less than pleased because I know that there is way more to his diet than that one snack!

As far as the seat goes, I agree that I personally wouldn't use one but as PP have mentioned, unless it looks like it could be expired I wouldn't say anything because the seat she's using is legal.
post #56 of 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by amitymama View Post
Seriously? Sorry, that just made me

If I received a letter from a parent about the da-dum-DUM 'dangers of artificial colors' along with research on preservatives and had a finger wagged in my face for daring to expose their little Johnny to such horrors, I would laugh my butt off. Then I would tear up the letter and laugh some more. Then I would go out and buy bright blue applesauce and send my kids to school with it everyday and enjoy the thought of that parent's head exploding.
Wow. Just....wow.

I guess you don't have one of those kids who turns into Manic Terror Child if they happen to eat one drop of artificial blue dye. Something like that makes my kid lose focus and she is a completely different child for a day or two.

I understand the need for parents to teach their kids to not eat other's food.

However...to take such offense at a letter educating parents about the very real dangers of artifical flavors and colors..? I just don't understand that.
post #57 of 235
I would be much more worried about the ill effect on our society of parents who think that their standards are higher than others and look how everyone else is parenting rather than if the kids have a snacks that might have artificial ingredients in it or the type of carseat that they use. I really can't imagine looking into other people's car at the carseat that they use and making a judgement about them that they have low standards.That is rather arrogant. I can't imagine looking into other children's lunchboxes and worrying what kind of snack that they have. I have other things to worry about. There is a war going on...there are gangs, poverty and bullying. This snack and carseat business is just too petty.
What if this was the only carseat that they could get given their circumstance. Why can't we take the energy that we waste worrying about how 'substandard' other parents are ( with the exception of blatant abuse and neglect) and put that energy into parenting our own kids the best way that we can.
post #58 of 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by StrugglingMomX's2 View Post
As far as the teacher being an older woman that doesn't have a grip on the children during snack times and that the children are running around with their food, well I won't even go there with what I think of that!
Well....I didn't say anything about this at first, because I always seem to be the only mama who cares about kids running around with food.

My kids were raised to eat sitting nicely. They don't have to be quiet or solemn, but they were not allowed to run around, lie down, or be raucous during meal/snack times. I would expect the same rules at daycare.

Honestly, I think the odds of a kid choking on their food is higher than being hurt by an old-fashioned carseat.
post #59 of 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by Finch View Post
Ah, to worry about stuff like this....:

My 3.5 y.o. (who has a feeding disorder and autism, among other things...) eats that fruity applesauce. We're thrilled.
Priorities. Gotta love 'em.

My dd also does not eat. She is 21 months old. I would be jumping for joy if she ate the fruity applesauce full of artificial color and flavors. I would let her have cup after cup, too! Just to see her eat. I get excited if/when she eats a few bites of ice cream. : I try not to judge, since I have no idea if there is an issue with the kids. You can't always tell just by looking. But then again, it was hard for me to not to a double take when I saw a mom feeding her 9 monthish old baby a whole lot of blue kool-aid looking stuff in a bottle last week...... Who knows, maybe it was medication of some kind.
post #60 of 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by amitymama View Post
Seriously? Sorry, that just made me

If I received a letter from a parent about the da-dum-DUM 'dangers of artificial colors' along with research on preservatives and had a finger wagged in my face for daring to expose their little Johnny to such horrors, I would laugh my butt off. Then I would tear up the letter and laugh some more. Then I would go out and buy bright blue applesauce and send my kids to school with it everyday and enjoy the thought of that parent's head exploding.


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