help me feel grateful about shower?

[MahBearRI]

So, my step mother and sister have informed me that I may not purchase anything else for myself because they will be throwing me a shower. That is wonderful - smething I didn't expect at all..
However - they are waiting until the 12th of August to have it...I am due on the 27th.
I am quite nervous that I won't have all of the things that I'll need. And then at that point need to scramble to try to purchase them for myself.

I feel ungrateful and rude if I try to communicate this to them again. I am anxious about nearly everything at this point..I just want to feel prepared...And I am so not prepared.

At this point, is there any polite way to ask them to change the date? Or would that be a pain in everyone's neck - and therefore I'd be best off keeping my mouth shut....

[moonchiald]

If they haven't already sent out invitations, I would ask them to change it to the first of August. All of the showers I have been to give about a 2 weeks notice for the shower. That will give you an extra 2 weeks to get what you need.

Just tell them that you are afraid you will go into labor early since the books and Dr.'s all say that it is normal to go into labor anywhere from 2 weeks before the due date to 2 weeks after.

I had to cancel and reschedule my cousin's baby shower for that exact reason. She wanted the shower closer to her due date and ended up in the hospital on her shower date.

[artgoddess]

I don't think there is anything wrong with asking them to move the date up for you. Aside from that how are they shopping for you? Did you fill out a registry? If so you can check the registry and see how things are going. You'll know by the shower date if stuff was not purchased.

DP and I made one large trip to Babies R Us a couple weeks before my due date to buy wheat I thought I could not live without post shower pre baby.

[Spring Sun]

I personally wouldn't worry about it. With ds, I had my shower less than two weeks before he was born and it was fine. Really, there are only a few essentials that you need for the new baby, she'll be in your arms most of the time anyone. But, if it going to stress you out def ask them to change it, how could they mind? Just emphasize your "nesting" impulse

[lyttlewon]

There isn't really anything you NEED, as in couldn't wait a little for. You need diapers, couple changes of clothes, boobs and a car seat. If you have all of that you can wait for a shower.

[Alohamelly]

I would be nervous too. I'd probably ask them to move the date up.

[PiePie]

i say don't let the shower date get in the way of your feeling prepared. most of the shower gifts i got are not the "essentials" i would have purchased. folks go in big for clothes 0-6 months and receiving blankets and various decorative items. so if you really think you need that diaper pail, by all means go for it; keep the tags on; you can always return it later.

what is it you think you need to survive the first 2 weeks? i need a new set of sheets for the new big family bed, wipes, cloth diaper service. i've got my sling, the diaper changing pad, my lansinoh and breast pads and 2 breast-feeding pillows : , clothes. actually the one clothing item i may not have that i should have, with an august baby, is a sun hat. i also need nursing bras and nursing pjs, but you can bet you are not going to get them at your shower!

seriously, when the nesting instinct gets strong, i just tell everyone to get out of my way. it's better for everyone. i don't think this means moving your shower date because there are unlikely to be duplicates, unless you feel the need to buy 3 items of clothing a day for the 1st 6 mos.

[SeekingJoy]

Originally Posted by PiePie

i say don't let the shower date get in the way of your feeling prepared. most of the shower gifts i got are not the "essentials" i would have purchased. folks go in big for clothes 0-6 months and receiving blankets and various decorative items. so if you really think you need that diaper pail, by all means go for it; keep the tags on; you can always return it later.

what is it you think you need to survive the first 2 weeks?

: I recently had a shower for baby 2.0, and got tons of precious (but completely non-essential) baby clothes in sizes 0-12 months. Like this fluffy feather thing for her hair. Cute, but not diapers or lanolin. I did get a car seat, but it was one that when my MIL asked what one "big" thing I still needed I requested it. My favorite gift was a pre-natal massage gift certificate.

With DS, I got lots of duplicates, despite having a registry. I couldn't wait until my baby shower, which the hostess could only have 3 weeks before I was due. Thankfully, Target and Babies R Us are great about returns for gift registries, and we ended up returning duplicates (duplicate gifts and duplicates of things DH and I had purchased, but left tags on). I kept the tags, receipts and boxes for lots of stuff that I wasn't sure if I would actually use or if I could find used/cheaper.

On the other hand, I have the nesting urge BIG TIME. Do what you makes you feel the most comfortable and the least stressed. I am sure their intent isn't to stress you out. Maybe they don't realize/don't remember how unpredictable a baby's birthday can be?

[NaturalTXMama]

Don't worry! Just buy the things you think are essential, leave the tags on and keep the receipts. Then if the baby comes after the shower and you receive duplicates, just return the ones you bought. I would focus on just being ready for the labor and birth!

[beanbean]

Originally Posted by NaturalTXMama

Don't worry! Just buy the things you think are essential, leave the tags on and keep the receipts. Then if the baby comes after the shower and you receive duplicates, just return the ones you bought. I would focus on just being ready for the labor and birth!

I was going to say the same thing! I'd rather have it on hand and have to return it later than take the chance of not having essentials when the baby arrives.