Steering The Craft, Anyone? - Page 2

[TypingMarie]

I posted my results from the first exercise on my Momspace blog page. It's a longer than a normal thread post so I wanted to put it on my blog to keep from cluttering up the thread.

I'm open to criticism of any kind, be it constructive, deconstructive or destructive.

I'm looking forward to seeing how others fared with this exercise. I thought it was a lot of fun.

[sea_joy]

Writing the right

Here's my long sitting in my notebook writing excercise. I'll take anything that pops into your head for criticism/ praise. I am aware, though, that it is very non- linear. I thought I would take as much focus as possible off of plot and put it on "being gorgeous". In fact, it makes no sense at all.

You've been warned.

"To start a thing of sparkling prose, and not let me get sucked in, belly first, into the surging pull of childishness is a challenge."

Said Miranda

"To plunge a stark bubbling forth from my pen, like a froth, to spurt onto the page like a human liquid."

Linda bespoke with a calm tone of voice, rising and falling like a splindering Joyce.

That rhymes.
Oh Shit.
I'll have to delete it.

"Nevermind Linda, "

says Dear Abigail

"Let's point to the point, so I know where it lies."

I think this may be meter, poorly printed on my page. At least alliteration has a place upon my stage. And rhyming, too! But are we allowed to start a sentence with and? Or But? Or or?

"Is it bubbly enough?"

Muses Luna...

"Is it too short?"

Nevermind that, pry the prawn from your ears. To dwell upon the shallow caves of plot and rules shall get us squarely in the middle of nothing.

Here's another:

Old man in taxicab kills bear.
Most Brutilly.

"Russians, I mean to say, "
holding my hands
as if to pray
"hold the keys to the secret, the one
worth more than gold.

How to stay
alive when your
soul's gone cold."

[TypingMarie]

I liked that a lot, sea_joy, it was great to read out loud. The non-linear nature makes perfect sense in the context of this exercise. Looking forward to seeing more of your work, I like your style

[fivi2]

Wow - you both did an amazing job.
*.*

[TypingMarie]

Very vivid, fivi2 I got a clear mental picture of the scene. Glad you're joining us

After seeing other writers' exercises, I'm starting to notice that this exercise makes the scene easier to "see" because of what you can "hear". What a clever exercise. I'm getting excited about the next one!

[sea_joy]

Anyone else?

Would anyone else like to add anything before we move on? I'll post the next exercise tomorrow, I think, that way any last minute writing can be added.

I loved the other writing! It was fun to read everything out loud. I hope everyone else feels elike I do, like we're getting nicely acquainted with our writers toolbox.

Okay, more tomorrow!

[kimboburly]

Just saw this...would love to get in on next one :)

Just got a moment to sit at my computer and read the MDC forums.

This is a great idea, and I'd love in on the next one.

Peace,
Kim

[MadWorldSonnet]

Are we still doing this? I enjoyed reading everyone's first entry, but I felt kind of silly posting my own, but here goes.



What a higgety piggety mess this is-
It’s higgety piggety for sure.
The more I mull over messes made
The more they become blossoming blemishes
On an otherwise pockless Island

The little boys strolls carelessly in
Past the moutains of messes
So I say to the little boy “Little Boy,” I say
“What can be done in the interim
For such an insistant mess
Made completely of pure and perfunctory
Higgety Piggetyness?
Surely you’re as sure as I am sure
Of the surely serious nature of this mess.
So what do you suggest in regards
To this Higgety Piggety mess?”

But the little boy could do nothing but stare,
Stare blankly back at me and my Sureness.
Surely he was mocking me
Maybe mocking me and my mess?
No words escaped his Little Boy mouth
No explanations formed in his brain

And then I saw what the little boy saw.
I used the eyes of the little boy
and the Higgety Piggety mess disappeared
As surely as I’m sure it was there at all.
Little Boy’s eyes sharpened on the structure, and the mess was no more.
In its place was a partially perfect, potentially purposeful pile
Set there by magicality and imagination
For Little Boy to rough-and-tumble his way
Through another lazy summer day
On the Higgety Piggety Island.


Again, this is not my favorite piece, and and constructive criticism is welcome.

VERNA: Can I just say that I love this line?

Slip, slip...sizzle.

It's so fun to say out loud and imagine.

PS-Working on exercise 2. I've got some ideas brewing as we speak.

[threadbey]

i'm sorry this thread died