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Need help with the neighbor's kids. *UPDATE, post 34.* PICTURES ADDED - Page 2

post #21 of 63
Jan 03'
"In the past eight years, states began enacting legislation that also prohibits minors from possessing tobacco products. To date, it appears that at least 36 states, including four New England states, and the District of Columbia prohibit tobacco possession by minors. "

post #22 of 63
I'm surprised. I thought the cigarette law was Nation Wide (but then I'm from a New England state, so obviously it's all around me). And it isn't just buying because I know a boy who was arrested for possessing cigarettes, in fact he was the first kid in my city right after the law went into effect. He ended up having to do community service.
post #23 of 63
It seems it is more the friend than the kid who lives in the complex who is the problem. Ask the kid for where he lives so you can talk to his mother about his cigarette & MJ use. If that doesn't work(and it probably won't given their ages), then I'd contact both complexes and see if they can do anything about the littering, etc. maybe they can put up security cameras?

Is this walkway city property? If so then I'd call the city to complain, since you know where the 1 kid lives. Unfortunatly his mother will get the complaint notice, but if she talks to her son maybe he can convince his friends to go elsewhere. At their ages there's no reason they can't go further away.

I understand the mom not wanting the cigarettes at her place, but that doesn't mean everyone else should have to deal with it.
post #24 of 63
Thread Starter 
I am FUMING MAD right now. I just called the cops, and I am going to call the cops every time I smell them out there until something is done about it.

Finally after 5 days of rain the sun is coming out. It's a nice evening and my mom and I just finished putting together and outside bench for DD and were about to take it outside for her when all I hear is coughing and spitting coming from the "smoke pit". I put my shoes on and went out there to talk to them, yet again, because this issue is not going to go away.

This time they had THREE bongs out there. And lawn chairs!! Not a pipe, not a joint, but a freaking foot long water bong, and 2 smaller bongs. On a PUBLIC path. UNDER my bedroom window, and about 30 feet from my patio. NEXT to a PARK!! There are children all up and down the hill playing outside in the first bit of sunshine we've seen all week and there are three teenagers parked out there in freaking lawn chairs getting high.

I asked them why they couldn't go down to the creek, and they basically laughed at me because they don't want to walk all the way down there.

I also asked them why they can't go sit in their own drive way, and he told me that his mother won't let him. That's nice. Send your dope smoking teenager to sit next to a park and get high with a bunch of neighborhood kids watching. Lovely.

I told him that I was aware of them breaking 3 by-laws. He laughed at me again. I asked him if he would like to work out a solution, like getting an ash tray - that *I* - would pay for so they could smoke their cigarettes, and then when they use the bong they can go down to the creek. He said no. I asked them if they would rather just have me go through the police and by-law enforcement if they didn't want to find an amicable solution and he told me that the police told them to go smoke their dope in the path. I asked for the Constables name and he didn't know it. So I told them I was going inside to get my phone and then I was going to walk up and get their house number, then call the station to verify that they were allowed to smoke out there. When they saw me on the phone they promptly packed up their lawn chairs and went inside.

I was told the police would be coming out to take a look. They have the boys house number and street number.

I told the police that I will file a report *every singe time* I see them out there until a solution is found. I have tried to handle this nicely by offering to pay for an ash tray. I have suggested a night time smoking curfew so they don't wake the neighbors up (they were out there at midnight last night and woke up my daughter). I have asked them nicely to simply just leave. I have talked to the mother and that didn't work.

Something needs to change, because I want to enjoy my patio and garden in the nice weather without hearing someone cough up a lung and "hawk a loogie" while they puff away on their bong. :
post #25 of 63
Oh my! You have been much more patient than I would have been! Next time I would not warn them before calling the police. Unreal - I hope this is over for you soon!
post #26 of 63
Ok this situation is totoally unacceptable and HUGS! OMG! Honestly do they really believe they’re going to come out the winners in this I mean really! I can’t believe that they are being soooooo defiant! Are you in a rental or condo? I ask because I really feel you need to force this mother into action! Yes, call the police since they are being so beyond reason and I would also be writing a VERY detailed letter to the rental company or condo corp about that house!
post #27 of 63
Is there anything your mom can do as the actual tenant? Can she file a complaint with her property management?
post #28 of 63
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by secondseconds View Post
Is there anything your mom can do as the actual tenant? Can she file a complaint with her property management?
My mom is in a rental co-op, the boys are in owned townhouses. My mom's co-op turns the other cheek, but *I* am not. And since they are on neither property, but rather on CITY property by sitting in a path, I can take what ever action I want seeing as how I have every right to use that path, regardless of where I live. You know?

So, I am writing a letter the other mom's strata council, and I am going to have a talk with her one more time. I am going to be flat out honest that this crap IS going to end, or they or going to get sick to death of hearing from me. Plain and simple.

I don't care if they want to smoke. I don't care if they want to smoke dope. What I care about is the fact that they're BLOCKING a public walking path, and are so intimidating that people are walking around because of them. Further more, they are smoking their MJ next to a park, and with children playing around them. Which, even as liberal as I am about MJ, seems soooo wrong.

All I ask is that they keep their MJ smoking private and don't flaunt it in the faces of the neighbors and neighborhood kids. If they're going to smoke cigarettes, they should clean up their mess and have some kind of respect for everyone by not going out there at all hours of the night. Fair?
post #29 of 63
Sorry, but they crossed the line with the mairjuana.

I compeltely agree with you, call the cops.

And I really truly question the sanity of this boy's mother. She lets him smoke weed knowingly? Call the police.
post #30 of 63

You have handled this all very well and I think you have been as amicable as possible. You have been nice, offered solutions and compromises and they have taken none. They deserve the consequences coming to them. Keep going mama. I hope a solution comes soon.
post #31 of 63
You've bent over backwards trying to offer them reasonable solutions. I wouldn't warn them anymore, I'd just go straight to the police so they can catch them in the act (actually, I'm mean, I would have done that the very first time).
post #32 of 63
Originally Posted by menudo View Post
Not in the USA. It is illegal for a minor to PURCHASE cigarettes and it is illegal for someone to intentionally purchase cigarettes for a minor but it is completely LEGAL for a minor to posses cigarettes and smoke them.

Most of my teen cousins have been caught with MJ and alcohol. None of them got in any real trouble even though the law states they can even lose there driving privilege until age 21-just for being caught with alcohol!
For clarification, it's not illegal in Canada either, only the purchasing of like the above poster mentioned.

They also tend to be more lax about pot as well, but perhaps it will take another authority, or the threat a monetary fine, to get the message across.
post #33 of 63
I wonder how long it will take the police to do somethign....

They sound so rude! (the teens)
post #34 of 63
Thread Starter 
FINALLY, the police came out and actually did something!!

Again, I was laying in bed and could hear the familiar sound of lighters flicking, and them spitting, and loud chatter, kicking trash around, etc. It was 30 degrees today, so ALL the windows are open, and yep, cigarette and marijuana smoke was wafting in the windows.

So I called the non emergency line again (I think this is the second or third time I've called since I last posted). The said they'd send a FEW cars out to take a look. This time I staked out the window, turned the TV off, turned the lights off, turned the fans off.. all so I could hear and see in the dark.

Low and behold, they showed up!! But as soon as the patrol car pulled in they took off. I hear glass break, then "f@ck f@ck, RUN", and then you could hear them hauling buggy down the path. I saw the officer walk up the path with a flash light, so I went out and met him at the fence. We had a GOOD chat. He's going to see about getting the fence torn down. Not the fence that backs onto our yard, but the fence on their side of the complex then encloses the path and makes it dark and secluded. He shined he light up the path and said you can barely see 30 feet up there, no wonder kids are up there smoking! He also said something about getting lights put in.

We went on to have a good chat. Didn't hurt that he was cute as heck. : But I digress. He was very understanding, and this kind of thing annoys him as much as me. He even told me about a little old lady in his complex that got scared by a group of teens, so he knows the trouble we're having.

THEN, right as we were talking, a group of kids came walking down the path. He shined the light in their face, and the kid snottily (is that a word?) said "get that effing thing out of my face". The officer said "EXCUSE ME?". I don't think the kid knew it was a cop, so he said "I don't want that shined in my face". The officer said "I don't care what you want, stop right where you are".

He then went on to tell them that they've received several calls about kids smoking dope in the path, and of course the kids denied it. It sounded like he asked them to open their bags, but I'm not sure if you can do that, so maybe I'm wrong. By that point I started to make my way back inside. The kids already know who I am, so if those were the ones (I couldn't tell it was dark) I really didn't want to be standing there watching them get questioned.

I don't think it was them though, because as I was literally typing this message 4 kids came RUNNING down the path, hooting and hollering, "yeah baby, they didn't get us, PIGS, etc etc". The must have been hiding in the path the whole time I was standing there talking to the officer.

So I called back and told the dispatcher they were back, and that the kids must have been hiding the whole time the officers were there.

Again, mid post I see the flash lights out back, so I went back out to talk to them and tell them which direction I saw the kids head. The officer said he heard rustling in the path and suspected some of the kids jumped a fence into one of the neighboring yards.

They're going to hang around tonight. They said they're going to move the car to make the kids think they're gone, then keep an eye on the place. I'm SO HAPPY someone is finally doing something about this. Not only just catching these inconsiderate kids and holding them accountable, but removing the fence and putting of lights would be a HUGE improvement!!!
post #35 of 63
Thread Starter 
There is broken glass EVERYWHERE back there today. I am going out to pick it up in a bit. Many people walk their dogs and children out there, and you can barely get through without stepping on it. I'm using the gardening utensils from our complex - push broom, shovel, wheel barrow. It's gross back there. It also smelled like they've been peeing back there. : It's disgusting.

Would it be appropriate to leave the bag of trash in their driveway??
post #36 of 63
I'd file a police report before cleaning it up. Take pictures before cleaning it up too. Also, while filing the report, ask the police if it would help for you to get pictures of them actually doing the damage next time.
post #37 of 63
Originally Posted by moondiapers View Post
I'd file a police report before cleaning it up. Take pictures before cleaning it up too. Also, while filing the report, ask the police if it would help for you to get pictures of them actually doing the damage next time.

I definitely agree.
What a hassle!!
post #38 of 63
wow! so sorry you're having to deal with all of this...and that the mother of the kid is leaving it up to someone else to parent her child. ugh.
post #39 of 63
Thread Starter 
Here are the pictures of the path. Some of the grafiti was already there, but it is WAY worse today. :

That little nook is a great place to flick their butts and garbage (this is also the place where they set up their lawn chairs, otherwise they stand in the spot marked "smoke pit"):

Inside the nook:

Cigarette butts:

A few of the old grafiti looking down the path:

New grafiti from last night:

This picture says it all for me.. that's my bedroom window you see above the fence. This clearly shows how close they are to our house. Just on the other side of the fence is our garden.

The park next to their house:

The path from their house:

The path from my house (see how close I am? : ):
post #40 of 63
that sucks that they are making your home so unpleasant. I have a big thing about my home being an oasis away from everything, i would be so upset! good luck, i hope the police can help!
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Mothering › Mothering Forums › Childhood and Beyond › Preteens and Teens › Need help with the neighbor's kids. *UPDATE, post 34.* PICTURES ADDED