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Need help with the neighbor's kids. *UPDATE, post 34.* PICTURES ADDED - Page 3

post #41 of 63
Could you set up a sprinkler on your property in your backyard, maybe just a couple hours a night...and stake it out for a few nights just to make sure that they don't mess with it? Of course then you'd hava to contend with the urge to hose them down...
post #42 of 63
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by maygee View Post
Could you set up a sprinkler on your property in your backyard, maybe just a couple hours a night...and stake it out for a few nights just to make sure that they don't mess with it? Of course then you'd hava to contend with the urge to hose them down...
And it's a waste of water.

At this point, I really just want them to be cought. I don't know if I'm more mad about the police simply not doing anything about it, or them knowing the police aren't going to do anything about, and in essence sticking their thumb on their nose and doing it anyway.

These kids/young adults (if they're over 18) could end up with a criminal record because of this, if it gets to that point. All because of a few bad decisions. However, there is a certain level defiance, and a refusal to co-exist within society while respecting your neighbors that just doesn't sit right with me either.

At what point does someone else's "choice" to break the law become a disruptance that must be dealt with? When do you become accountable for your actions?

I'm just so frustrated with the whole situation. :
post #43 of 63
Thread Starter 
Now we can add fire crackers to the list of problems. In broad day light. One more goes off and I'm calling the police again before one of them shoots through my window. :
post #44 of 63
Is this still your neighbors kid and his *gang*!?!?!?!!?! If yes, someone would have to physically be holding me back from marching over there and tearing a strip of her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HUGS!
post #45 of 63
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by StrugglingMomX's2 View Post
Is this still your neighbors kid and his *gang*!?!?!?!!?! If yes, someone would have to physically be holding me back from marching over there and tearing a strip of her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HUGS!
Yep, it's them. : I've talked to her already, and I don't really know what it good it would do go over there. Everytime I've gone over there after they've been out back, she wasn't home anyway. Surprise surprise.

On the bright side, I do have a video of them smoking a joint. I'm going to wait and see what happens tonight, and if I can get more pics/videos, then I'll be putting it on disk and taking it to the police station.

If the police STILL don't do anything about it, I'll be taking my disk with the videos and pictures to the news stations.
post #46 of 63
I agree with the water hose, but I"d have it set up so if you hear them out there then it gets turned on.

What do the landlords/management say about it? Surely you could send the pics you took to them, including the one of them smoking the joint.

Can you collaborate with your neighbors & do a neighborhood watch/patrol?

Unfortunatly until the police catch them in action there isn't much they can do.
post #47 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarrieMF View Post
What do the landlords/management say about it? Surely you could send the pics you took to them, including the one of them smoking the joint.

Can you collaborate with your neighbors & do a neighborhood watch/patrol?

Unfortunatly until the police catch them in action there isn't much they can do.
Ohhhh a neighborhood watch would be perfect! How do the rest of your neighbors feel about what's going on?

Also, do you have a motion spotlight? If not, I'd get one and aim it in the direction of the path.
post #48 of 63
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by StrugglingMomX's2 View Post
Ohhhh a neighborhood watch would be perfect! How do the rest of your neighbors feel about what's going on?

Also, do you have a motion spotlight? If not, I'd get one and aim it in the direction of the path.
The other neighbors are upset about how the path looks, but other then it's an "out of sight, out of mind" thing. We're fortunate in that we can leave out complex by going down the driveway, so we aren't forced to use the path. Other houses further up the hill need to use it to get to the bus stop, so they are probably more concerned.

This complex did put locking gates/doors up because of teens, not necessarily these ones, cutting through and congregating at the back of our property. So now you need a key to get in and out of our complex, which is nice, but doesn't help when we are only separated by a fence, you know?

I've been printing all my posts from the this thread as sort of a running diary. I also have pictures and videos now, and we're taking them to our co-op meeting this month to see everyone else's thoughts. We are the only unit that backs directly up to the path, though there are 4 in this little corner who can hear them. Our community garden also backs directly up to the fence, and we've had problems with trash being throwing into the garden, spitting, etc. My biggest concern now is the smell of urine back there. We are on a hill, so drainage would come right down the hill into our complex. I'm not sure how that would work, but just the thought of it gave me the willies. : We eat the food in the garden.

I'm really shocked at how deplorable these kids have behaved. I was no saint of a teenager, either. I smoked, I drank, I cursed... but I NEVER would have acted this way. Never. And because I remember what it's like to be a teenager I didn't take on a "me grown up, you kid, do what I say" attitude. I honestly though they'd lip me off and then move down the path another couple hundred feet into the green belt and we'd be done with this. I'm FLABBERGASTED that they have continued to flaunt their defiance right under my nose while taking up property destruction and public urination.

If you could see the lay out of the area, you would understand how EASY it would be for them to walk 2 minutes down to the river. Heck, they could light a FIRE down there, sit in their lawn chairs, and NO ONE would see them. They are acting like this for the express purpose of trying to piss me off, and I am NOT going to give them that satisfaction, which is why I have not spoken to them since the last time they brushed off my attempts to resolve this.

Just :

But I leave in two weeks, so I'm not optimistic much will be resolved by then anyway.
post #49 of 63
For what it's worth-- I've had my share of good and bad confrontations over the years. The problem now is you've got bored teenagers making an activity out of bugging you.

I think you sent a mixed signal by putting the sand bucket out. You really don't want them out there. Can you make that area less hospitable? What kind of music does you mom have-- any Wagner, or Johnny Matthis? Don't laugh--the FBI has used loud annoying music to lure hostage takers out of standoffs! Here's a fun idea-- there are organic fertilizers made from fish matter that will make your lawn beautiful but smell like dead fish for a few days. You can buy some, mix it with a bucket of water, and pour it along that side of the fence. In my experience, no one will want to stand around there near it.

Unfortunately, you live near the teenager with the mom who is a pushover. I had a best friend like that in high school, and yep, we lived at her house.

Good luck because I totally understand how wrong this is to have to endure.
I would keep a dialogue with the police going too.
post #50 of 63
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by shanagirl View Post

I think you sent a mixed signal by putting the sand bucket out.
I didn't put a sand bucket out there. It was one suggestion I made in the begining to try to curb the butts on the ground, but I was laughed at, so I never bothered.
post #51 of 63
you're nicer than i am. really, you are.

i'd calmly inform them that their choices and decisions were their own, but that i refused to let them compromise the health of my child.

i'd take pictures/video of them smoking both cigarettes AND the dope...and then march down there with a broom, dustpan, and trash can. i'd then inform them that they had a choice, clean up their mess, or i would take the video to the police. if that didn't bother them, i'd print out copies and post them around the neighborhood

you don't mess with my kids. period. and i'd definitely call the law, each and every time. WITH evidence.
post #52 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by loriforeman View Post
i'd take pictures/video of them smoking both cigarettes AND the dope...and then march down there with a broom, dustpan, and trash can. i'd then inform them that they had a choice, clean up their mess, or i would take the video to the police. if that didn't bother them, i'd print out copies and post them around the neighborhood
I laughed when I read this and thought "Go mama go!" but then started thinking that I'd bet money if she did this it would somehow get her in trouble!
post #53 of 63
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by StrugglingMomX's2 View Post
I laughed when I read this and thought "Go mama go!" but then started thinking that I'd bet money if she did this it would somehow get her in trouble!
Oh believe me, I've thought of every vendictive thing possible. When I saw the broken glass (which someone else cleaned up BTW, maybe them?) I was going to sweep it up spread it all over their fricking drive way. Oh I was MAD. (And getting mad again thinking about it ).

BUT.. it wouldn't solve anything. It would just teach them that whenever there is a conflict about their actions they get to act like hooligans instead of trying to resolve it. It sucks being the mature one.

They saw me videoing them the other day and haven't been back. I have lots of footage of them out there, and you can HEAR them, nothing that actually shows them at a good angle. I'm waiting for the day they go out there with their bongs and sit in their lawn chairs. I will get a CLEAR shot (photo not video) through the fence. Then all I need is a picture of them walking into their house and I'm done.
post #54 of 63


Quote:
Originally Posted by North_Of_60 View Post
I don't care if they want to smoke. I don't care if they want to smoke dope. What I care about is the fact that they're BLOCKING a public walking path, and are so intimidating that people are walking around because of them.
So mainly, you have an issue with how these young people look. I get the distinct impression that if this were adults we were talking about that were smoking, or children who were making noise (dare I say it--maybe even your little angel) or even if they were clean-cut looking kids you wouldn't be so riled up over this. You know my dh is a long-haired, black-trench-coat-wearing ex-smoker, and he DID always pick up his cigarette butts, but I notice you didn't even consider the fact that this kid might be telling the truth, because "they" are always down there even though it's also a "public" path that lots of people use. Guess what, they are part of the public, and even if you and some curmudgeon neighbors think they're scary looking, that doesn't mean they have to sit at home so they don't frighten anyone.

You know, it's not the kids everyone else has a problem with in this little situation, it's you, you're the one not exactly winning friends here. Don't the police in your neighborhood have anything better to do? (Don't you have anything better to do?) How much pot smoke could POSSIBLY be getting in your window? Do something quick, your daughter sounds like she's getting a contact high nightly! Buy a flippin' fan.

Hearing people beneath your window is part of the communal living of that type of housing. They're not blaring stereos, they're (gasp) talking! And I know the streets are cleaner in Canada, but to me, the incriminating cigarette butts are barely noticeable. If you don't like it, sweep it up, and ask the landlord for an outdoor ashtray and a couple of flower-pots. (And BTW, urine is absorbed in soil, it doesn't run down a dirt or grass hill. Dogs pee in your garden, and if you buy veggies in a supermarket, even if they're organic to CA standards, they're allowed to put raw sewage on them as fertilizer.)

If you had relayed this exact same story and said "I don't care if they want to smoke. I don't care if they want to smoke dope. What I care about is the fact that they're BLOCKING a public walking path, and these young black men are so intimidating that people are walking around because of them." people here would have jumped your [UAV] in a New York minute. But as teenagers, who choose to have a unconventional appearance, they are okay to de-personalize and write off as "intimidating".

Okay... stepping down off my and waiting patiently for someone to go running to mdc authorities about how mean I am, and for me to get my hand slapped or the thread removed, because disparaging anonymous teen neighbors for how they look (which probably means they're in a different socio-economic class than you) is okay, but my being offended by that attitude wouldn't get looked twice at, much less get this thread shut down, but my offending people by pointing that out will...

... same song, next verse... now where did I put that link to the other messageboard I found...
post #55 of 63
No, not at all Gendenwitha...... you are not the only one whose skin is crawling. .. But, you are the only one who would get into the snake pit to say so.

Anytime I see people behaving in the way exampled by this thread.... where a seed of malcontent turns into a pebble then a rock ... and some snowballing is taking place as a righteous type of fervor builds (and this dynamic is almost completely impervious to intervention of the sort that you offer) ... we all know how pointless it is to try to dissuade someone from scape goating , or from their justifications for doing so. They won't hear it, and you just become another one of their targets.

No, you are not the only one offended by the tone of this thread. But, you are the only one willing to put yourself in the line of fire by voicing your disagreement with the mob here.

I got ya, i got ya...... now lets just slowly move away from the area .... thats right thats right reeeeeeaaaal slow and easy
....

-anj119
post #56 of 63
I disagree with the last 2 posters becuase this is an issue with these teens not showing respect.

They have their own yard, they can smoke in their yard. Obviously what they're doing is bothersome to their own parents as their own parents don't want them in their yard.

If I was the OP it wouldn't matter if they were 16 or 96, what they are doing is disrepectful to the community. Their age, clothing, appearance has nothing to do with anything.

So what is urine soaks into the ground, these guys do not need to be urinating there. Unlike a dog, these guys can walk home & pee in their own toilets.

They do not need to be leaving their butts on the ground, dropping their bongs & leaving the broken glass, being loud past the noise bylaws, smoking outside another person's property.

Yes it is public property but that does not mean they are free to do whatever illegal things they want to do. They should be MORE respectful because it is public property.
post #57 of 63
for the record...i could care less that it's teens. what *i* would be pissy about is the dope...AND the cigarettes. but mostly the dope.

take that somewhere else, i don't want it by MY kids.
post #58 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by loriforeman View Post
for the record...i could care less that it's teens. what *i* would be pissy about is the dope...AND the cigarettes. but mostly the dope.

take that somewhere else, i don't want it by MY kids.
"I also feel that some people will be intimidated by a group of teenagers, all dressed in black, a couple with long hair, and smoking dope in a secluded path, enough to not want to walk down it. "
So I guess if they were dressed preppy the OP would have found them less threatening - otherwise she wouldn't have felt it necessary to mention the clothes. I guess we are lucky they were male, otherwise we'd be subjected to the whole "SLUT" thing...
post #59 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarrieMF View Post
I disagree with the last 2 posters because this is an issue with these teens not showing respect.
I agree with the PP and the OP about the respect issue. It certainly is not going to serve these people well to continue the defiant 'tudes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CarrieMF View Post
They have their own yard, they can smoke in their yard. Obviously what they're doing is bothersome to their own parents as their own parents don't want them in their yard.
What occurs to me in regard to this statement is that OP has her own yard too. Her yard butts up against public property. My yard does too.
I grew up in a remote area in the North Idaho Rocky Mountains. Now I live smack dab in the heart of an urban area near downtown.
And what I learned fairly quickly is that my peace cannot be, i cannot allow my peace to be effected by the sounds and the people going about their peopley business all around me. I cannot do that. unless i want no peace.


Quote:
Originally Posted by CarrieMF View Post
So what is urine soaks into the ground, these guys do not need to be urinating there.
She never said they were peeing there (oh, actually she did say that) she said she smelled urine there.


Quote:
Originally Posted by CarrieMF View Post
They do not need to be leaving their butts on the ground,
No, they do not. No one does. Still, I am not real impressed by the cigarette butt litter evidenced in the photos. More misc. trash accumulates along my fence line in a week than what the OPs photo shows. Part of my routine is sweeping the sidewalks around my home on a corner.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarrieMF View Post
dropping their bongs & leaving the broken glass,
listen, when you drop glass on the concrete, what do you hear? since the police are now involved, sweeping up the shards from the glass which broke as they laid a Twinkie in their shorts..... this seems a petty complaint in light of the circumstances. She called the police, they dropped and ran just like she wanted them too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CarrieMF View Post
being loud past the noise bylaws,
the noise the OP finds so unbearable and rude is the noise created by people having conversation. they are talking. not war whooping. not Tarzan's jungle cry. OK? talking. According to the OP, they even try to talk *quietly* for her. She reports that despite this, she still hears them speaking in hushed tones.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CarrieMF View Post
smoking outside another person's property.
come on now...... please. outside another persons property is just that. it is outside of another persons property. all sorts of stuff going on outside my property today. already had several dogs with their owner's in tow pee all over my fence where my kids play. the major renovation project is in full swing across the street. the lady two doors down has unleashed the hound (a yapper) and her two exuberant youngsters whose shrills and shrieks I always mistake for violence. Extreme violence. And bloodshed hahahahaaa We've already had the crew of 'tuff guys' come by on their way to summer school at the jr high at the bottom of the hill. In a little while they'll be back on through... heading home. and yelling and pushing and spitting (spitting is tres cool with these dudes.... points for volume, points for heaviness of splat), and cursing and smoking cigarettes, and littering all sorts of ..... sheesh, why even list all this. sorry. you are spared further elaboration on the myriad sources of potential discontent found in my neighborhood.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CarrieMF View Post
Yes it is public property but that does not mean they are free to do whatever illegal things they want to do. They should be MORE respectful because it is public property.
Taking a quick inventory here ....... nope, Ive never seen this type of 'should be' manifest into 'are being' except if its me. Taking a look around I see many examples of poor behavior, and disrespect for others, and well...... in general I see humans. just plain old everyday humans doing plain old everyday irritating stuff. We all live with it, each one of us. And the OP too.

I wanted to say my initial post to this thread was heavy handed.
I do actually agree with the OP concerning the rude behavior of the kids. She tried to be cool and they pretty much told her where to stick it. I don't like that.
And, as for shooting yourself in the foot, I think these kids are about to learn a good lesson about not shitting in the nest. Although they are away from their homes, I say that this gathering area away from home qualifies as for the analogy. Obviously, they are attached to using it. If that be the case, (and you and I know this already but they may be just about to start figuring this out), then they would be wise to minimize their impact upon the area esp. when it is an adverse impact involving neighbors - such as it is here.

Predictably, they are going to meet with trouble based upon the continuing activity. I have 3 children, the oldest is 12. So, my idea about what kind of trouble they deserve to meet with.... comes just from my own experiences as a teen.


How about the OP takes it upon herself to accomplish the massive task of cleaning up the area. I saw the pictures. There is alot of trash accumulated there...... looks to be old and matted and will be not a fun job. But, how about getting the area into the kind of shape she visualizes for herself. Then, start the score-keeping again. with a fresh slate.
if they are the ones being pigs and they are lying to her about it not being their trash, then such will become obvious in the newly cleaned environment.

About the graffiti, some people love graffiti. Not me. It really bugs me when some idiot goes and 'tags' some spot they consider to be cool or theirs. Way to tip em to your hand stupid! god.... so, what I've done only once and they are teens and hard to talk to and they look at me like Ive got cheese coming out of my nose.....
but, i say real mellow i say 'hey man..... hows it goin'? ' I say 'hey man tell me what is the deal here wit the paint, man?' and they adopt the counter-posture as if they are getting unfairly railed on for their art. And I said 'man this is not helping the people in this neighborhood at all because it is bringing attention to our kids from the police.' i said to the one kid on the skateboard but the others were listening from their perch on the top of the picnic bench i know, i asked him if they get problems from the police ever. and he very clearly feels very persecuted very unfairly judged -and i said to him that the paint was not for those places we live and need to be safe in. because it is like giving the police a map to our homes and an invitation to visit us with their guns. i told him go tag on the police. i told him go tag on the polluters. And he and his friends laughed at me but i said to them I'm serious this brings problems to our neighborhood where we live we have problems enough. and then i got in my minivan (hahahaha) and went home. but guess what no tags since then this was about three months ago those kids listened to me and they still skate there all hours loudly but no new paint

Maybe I'm lucky. But, maybe OP is encountering trouble and misery that comes as much from her attitude as it does from their presence in her life.
don't chase them
don't hate on them

Help yourself first. Create the environment you think you deserve first. Then blame them if they screw it up.

I promise this is it from me I will be quiet observer again.
carry on.

-anj119
post #60 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gendenwitha View Post
So mainly, you have an issue with how these young people look...
Wow, I am not sure where you go that impression? While I too kinda roll my eyes when someone gets upset about how someone is dressed (because I was friends with plenty of people who liked the goth look in high school and college and how they dressed had nothing to do with what kind of person they were), you are taking one small part of the OP post and claiming it is her main beef? Her main problems to me seem to be the odors, noises, trash and graffiti.

If this were happening to me I would be pissed too and I would guess the OP would still be pissed even if they were dressed in khakis and polo shirts. I know I would and I would be even more pissed if adults were doing this. Both know better, but behavior from teens like this is more understandable, from adults? It would be completely ridiculous.

To the OP, I am glad you are trying to get something the police will take seriously. Good luck!
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