Do you sometimes stay up late? - Page 2

[UUMom]

My oldest and youngest stay up late. My two middles one (15 & 13) have always gone to bed early and gotten up early. My 15 yr old is sound asleep (not even 9 here, but she will be up at 5) and my 8 yr old is playing a baord game with her father. The 18 yr old is out. My 13 yr old is in the shower (baseball game tonight) and will crawl into bed soon with his radio & fall asleep to a Red Sox game.

I think you go with whatever kind of kid you have. I once had a 9 yr old fall asleep in a rented stroller in WDW, hours before the fireworks, but the baby was up and partying.

[onlyzombiecat]

My dd stays up late often- all night sometimes- so we do stuff at night regularly. She woke up at 9:30 PM yesterday and is still awake at 5AM today. She'' probably go to sleep around noon or 1 PM. My dd sleeps 10 to 12 hours from the time she goes to sleep regardless of it it is 7 PM, midnight or noon.
I have never purposefully kept her awake when she was tired because I wanted to do something- it is just her natural body rhythym. I don't think it would be right to keep your child awake if they are tired. Following your child's lead on when they go to sleep though is fine IMO as long as it works for your family.

We've taken dd out shopping late at night and no one has ever said a word to us. I think the judgemental people are at home asleep.

Some drawbacks to the habit of late nights:
Less time to play outside before it gets dark or mosquitoes come out- have to be quiet outside so sleeping neighbors aren't bothered
Not as easy to do stuff with kids/families who go to bed earlier or get up earlier- might miss some kid activities
Have to be careful of grazing at night- keep regular meal times even if the hours are at night
Different sleep schedules for different family members can be tough to handle sometimes. My dh has to get up early for work so he goes to bed at 10ish. If we stay up later we have to be quiet so he can sleep. I also miss sleeping at the same time as him.
Harder for adult to adjust to some late nights and then some regular days than for the child- at least for us. That can lead to grumpy or lethargic parent. Honestly, my dd's late nights are hardest on me.
Use more electricity.


Positives:
Following natural body rhythym so less struggle over bedtime
Less tied to a traditional routine
See cool things at night- stars, moon, different bugs, nocturnal animals
We can do lots of things at any time- cook, crafts, reading, play games, do puzzles, watch DVD's, the internet is always open
In summer we are more active when it is cooler.
More places are open late or 24 hours these days.
Less crowded shopping at night.

[bwylde]

We've always tried to have a sleep when you want attitude about bedtimes. DS was a horrible sleeper as a baby and nothing worked so we morphed into a late to bed, late to rise family. The only downside is I get the least amount of sleep since I can't go to bed until the kids are asleep (often as late as 1am) and I have to get up at 6am to babysit, plus I get up at least once during this time and take about half an hour to get back to sleep. Needless to say I can't wait for school to start and babysitting is done so I can sleep in again! It will be easier when the kids are older and can be up and about by themselves.

We get tons of critisism. I just now say different things work for different people. No two families are the same and we are following our family rhythm. It's no one's buisness when my kids sleep!!

[granola_mom]

Thanks for the replies everyone!

I usually feel okay about our choices. I'm pretty laid back, and DD definitely takes after that. She doesn't have a regular nap time or bed time or wake up time, and I usually don't think about that and it hasn't been a problem within the confines of our apartment. When we venture out, however, and other moms want to know things about sleep, it goes something like this:

"So, what time do you put DD down?" she says.
"Hmm... sometimes she's in bed at 10, sometimes midnight... depends. I don't really pay that much attention to the time, I just follow her cues," I respond.
"Depends on what? On when she has naps? When does she take naps, how long are they, and how many does she have?"
"Well, it's different all the time and I don't really follow the clock or schedules. Sometimes she has two naps, sometimes one, sometimes they are short and sometimes she sleeps for a long time, but I couldn't really tell you how long, really."
"So, when you put her down depends on how often she wakes up during the night then? How often does she wake up during the night?"
"Well, we cosleep, so it's hard to say. I don't really notice when or how often because I don't pay attention to the clock. I just latch her back on or change her diaper while we're both still half asleep. So I couldn't tell you how often she wakes up."
"So has she slept through the night yet? What time does she get up?"
"You know, I really couldn't tell you if she's slept through the night... it really doesn't make that big of a difference to my night either way. She just gets up when she wants to. Sometimes she goes to bed at midnight and wakes up at 7:30, and sometimes she goes to bed at 10 and wakes up at noon the next day."
"You let her sleep in that late? But won't she be up all night?"
"Maybe, maybe not."

Hahaha... so, in the end of the conversation I end up feeling a bit like a parent who pays no attention to her kid or doesn't care. But that's only when I talk to people who do it differently. I just think I'm pretty laid back, but maybe that comes off as lazy to some people?

[bwylde]

People feel that routines and schedules must rule people's lives. So many are uncomfortable with the idea of *gasp* doing what you Want when you Want. Heaven forbid someone should follow their hearts! (at least this is the attitude I get. When asked why it's important that we should have a set bedtime it's asumed we follow a public school mode. Yeah right!!!)

[folkypoet]

I loved your answer, onlyzombiecat! My son (9) is sounds a lot like your daughter! Your pros and cons list was spot on. The only difference for us is that we probably use less electricity simply because it's so hot here during the day. If we're sleeping through the heat, though, we can leave the air conditioner off more often.

And, granola_mom, I'm almost certain I had that exact same conversation when ds was a baby! Word for word!

I love that he's following his body's natural rhythm, and since I'm a night owl, too, we get to spend lots of time together. He'll purposefully go to bed early if he knows there's something he wants/needs to do the next day, but usually, he's up well past midnight - occasionally until dawn.

We'll often get strange looks when we're out and about late at night, but it doesn't really phase him (or me, for that matter). I figure this societal norm is rooted in our Puritan work ethic - not something I'm trying to base our decisions on! But really, as long as a child is getting the right amount of sleep, who cares when they're sleeping? And the looks certainly aren't any worse than the ones we get when people see him out during a school day or when he has to correct them about his gender ("Oh, I'm a boy - I just have long hair").

[SagMom]

Originally Posted by granola_mom

I just think I'm pretty laid back, but maybe that comes off as lazy to some people?

Yes, I've gotten this feeling from people also. But, the bottom line is, if you and your kids are happy with the way things are, nothing else matters, yk? I've found that saying, "This works fine for us." with a smile pretty much ends the conversation whether it's about bedtimes, or nursing or co-sleeping, or unschooling or whatever.

[kayla14]

My kids have an early bedtime, but only because by the end of the day I feel like I need that quiet time. I look forward to them being in bed, and having time alone with my dh.
That being said, although my kids go to bed early, they often stay up late. My 8yo usually stays up until around 10:30 or so, but she just lays in bed reading, so I don't care.

[mags]

Originally Posted by Chinese Pistache

Our kids (6, 4, 2) have an early bedtime. They get up at the crack of dawn no matter what time they go down and they feel much better when they get enough sleep. That said, they usually have no problem staying up for special occasions. I've actually had more people judge me for giving my kids an early bedtime, along the lines of us being too controlling. But I really don't care. The kids go down happily (usually!) and we get a few sane hours alone.

I could have written your post (well, I only have two kids though), lol. Ppl always seem so surprised that our kids have a relatively early bedtime, I feel like we get judged more for it than parents who let their kids stay up late on a regular basis.

[lurve]

personally i can't wait for my dd to decide she wants a late bedtime and to sleep in!! oh i dream of that day every morning she wakes me at 5:30! i keep explaining to her that part of the benefit of having a sahm and for homeschooling is we get to set our own sleep schedule. but alas she is only six months old and doesn't seem to grasp the whole idea yet!