I went in today for a non-stress test, as the resident told me to do when I told her I was leaving. She showed me where to register and which desk to go to for the NST. She said I could come regularly to check up on the baby.
Today I arrived and they did the NST then the OB came in and said that I would no longer be eligible for any outpatient services. I must be readmitted or I get nothing. No follow up NSTs or ultrasounds. I am calling the College of Physicians and Surgeons just to make a fuss about such poor ethics. Obviously he is trying to coerce me into staying.
He did admit that they cannot make me have a c-section, and that of course they would be forced to allow me to proceed with a vaginal birth if I insisted. He then tried to point out that things can change during labour and a c-section might become necessary, and that I need to trust the OB so that if something like that happens and a c-section becomes necessary I will accept it. I did tell him that I understand that cesarian delivery can save lives, and that sometimes they are necessary, but how am I supposed to trust the opinion of a random OB I've never met whose mindframe was from the beginning that the c-section was necessary just because the baby was presenting breech?
: I pointed out that my midwife would be in attendance and that I would be considering her perspective. He made a bunch of rude comments about how she shouldn't be involved etc. He said she can't make decisions for me. I told him that I was making my own decisions, and that I would consider the opinion of the care provider I've had and trust in addition to the opinion of the man who already thinks I'm supposed to have a c-section.
Someone mentioned priveleges....yes, technically she should have assisting priveleges now, and attending priveleges at 35 weeks with a physician present. The OB brought up (and the one who is mine is the head OB) the fact that a c-section becomes more dangerous with the lower comfort levels of the attending physician. I pointed out that there would be a perfectly qualified, capable and willing attendant at the birth and how convenient for them!
I called him out on the literature, asking him what he thought of particular studies on vaginal breech births, including the term breech trial and the follow-up, and he really didn't have a good answer for me. He just went into a spiel about how most doctors won't do vaginal breech deliveries in Canada and it's not just him, etc. What he didn't tell me is that he has at least one OB on his own staff perfectly willing to do so, and not thinking it such a big deal. My midwife spoke to this man this morning, and while he's not willing to come in for me off-call, he would be happy to proceed with my planned vag breech when he's in on his 2 days a week.
I gave him specific reasons why I did not feel I should be sitting in the hospital indefinitely waiting for this baby. He noted that there had been several conversations between me and others (nurses, OBs, residents) about the topic, and I told him that yes, there have. And they've been abusive and disconnected. The first day I was told I wouldn't stay if I was stable. That I would have outpatient care, even a nurse coming to my home to monitor occasionally. Then I was told I had to stay. I never met this OB that I met today, nor did I ever know my care had been transfered to him. I was in for a full two-and-a-half days. I was told I would meet with neonatology on a certain day. I didn't that day or the next. What benefit of my being there? He tried to tell me there was an increased risk of cord prolapse; I told him I had a frank breech and the risk is much lower. He stopped that argument. Then he had the infection argument. I pointed out I had sat through their IV antibiotics and continued oral antibiotics as prescribed (even though yeah, I'm only partly convinced this is necessary--which I didn't say). He left that alone. Finally it came down to "you should realize how lucky you are to have an antenatal bed...they're hard to get and blah blah blah). In reality, I could be sitting there indefinitely. I've been fine. No bleeding. Baby moving. All NSTs good. BPP good. I just hate that I'm being bullied like this. And now with refusing to do any outpatient monitoring...well, it's obviously manipulative and meant to be a threat. I cannot stay in that environment for potentially a couple weeks.
Just had to get some of that conversation out with people who might understand. I'm glad DP was there. I couldn't have faced the staunchest, most conservative head of obstetrics on my own with a nurse literally laughing out loud at me for being so obviously silly when I pointed out that the practice of an automatic c-section for breech presentation is not in keeping up with current literature.
Okay, enough venting.
If I make 36 weeks, I mosey on down to the hospital where my midwife does have priveleges and we birth the baby. That would be ideal at this point, though I'm getting so mad I almost want to go to their hostile hospital and scream at them while I push a baby out of my vagina bum-first.
I do fear that there will be backlash against me and the baby because when the baby is born they will have a way of regaining power over me. Things like threats, unnecessary testing, half-truths, and just not making things easy for us.