People who get a deal are so unappreciative - Page 2

[birthgreeter]

I do not mind lowering my fee for people who can not afford it. I will also barter for services. One couple had fields of hay and needed my services so we traded for enough hay for the winter for our horse and cow.

I will do this but-- what is upsetting is when you have one who can afford to pay, and will not pay or does not pay on time. They continue to push the limit. I let the clients make the payment plan that works for their budget, to try to make things easier on them, they set the dates they will pay (within my guidelines of dates to have it paid by). It is frustrating when you have one who will not pay but they have the money to go on vacation 2-3 times during the pregnancy....I don't like billing and I don't like talking about money again and again. It is good that it is only a few clients that are this way...

[jengacnm]

In my practice we STRONGLY recommend that first time moms either take classes OR hire a doula (both are ideal, but they MUST do one or the other). Recently a young couple was trying to wiggle out of it for what I sensed were monetary reasons. They were just SHOCKED that Bradley classes cost $350. I spent time talking about the huge binder of information they will get (printing fees) and about the time involved for the instructor. I got a flash of insight and asked them, "How much do you think you SHOULD spend on classes?" That seemed to catch them off guard-and they hadn't thought about it. So they decided that $350 was too much when they hadn't really decided what was just enough.

I guess that helped them to reframe-a few visits later and they are taking the Bradley class they wanted to take. And they paid full price.

Great thread, ladies.

[pamamidwife]

birthgreeter, I get what you're saying BUT isn't that about YOU not asking for what you need and not being firm about boundaries rather than always being about THEM? how can your resentment be about them when you cut your fee and allowed them to pay late?

I think it's better to be honest - speaking from experience, of course. Of course nobody likes to talk money but I'm really finding that the more we cower from money talk the less money we'll make and the more resentment we'll have.

I guess, in essence, I'm really trying to steer this back to personal responsibility. It's not about "these people". It's about US.

[birthgreeter]

Originally Posted by pamamidwife

birthgreeter, I get what you're saying BUT isn't that about YOU not asking for what you need and not being firm about boundaries rather than always being about THEM? how can your resentment be about them when you cut your fee and allowed them to pay late?

I did not say that I had resentment, and when I talked about being frustrated with a couple who was not paying on time, It was not the one who could not pay-it was one who could pay-and continues to fight my boundaries.

[SublimeBirthGirl]

Originally Posted by pamamidwife

well i think therein lies the problem: when we have expectations of OTHERS i honestly believe we'll almost always be disappointed. we cannot control how someone else lives their life, births their babies, or "values our services". we can only control and deal with our OWN expectations and reactions.

I think that this thread is valuable in seeing that we're still doing things for free with expectations attached. When that's the case, we'll surely be disappointed. You know?

Very true.