Post Partum Plans? - Page 2

[Belleweather]

~Do you have someone coming to stay with you? Or is it just you and your DH/SO?

Last time it was just me and DH for the first week and is was so, so, so wonderful. (Seriously, for all your first time parents I would so urge you to think seriously about 'babymooning' with just your little family for a while. I think it was one of the best choices we ever made.) This time, I think we might have to have 'help' whether we like it or not just because of the Christmas season and needing someone to take care of DS while I labor. Probably, my mom will come for Christmas and stay with my Aunt Mary until the baby is born and for a week to 10 days afterward so she can make sure we're fed and DS has someone to spend part of the day running around with him.

~What about a mother's helper or pp doula? I don't think that's 'us', you know?

~Do you expect to be able to do all the household chores, activities, etc. as normal or will you have others do things for a while? NO. I learned last time that overdoing yourself after having a baby is not a good idea and can lead to long bleeding, healing times, anemia and exhaustion, which sets me up for PPD. I'm really focusing on resting as much as possible -- in bed or on the couch.

~Do you have any plans for what to do for food or meals afterwards? I plan on buying out Trader Joe's, cooking mountains of our staples to freeze, taking advantage of our local foodie takeout joints down the block and cooking about half a cow for Christmas Dinner so we can eat leftovers for a while.

~Are you welcoming all visitors or do you have restrictions? I don't feel like we'll be overrun with visitors and I'm very much not germphobic, so I can't imagine that we wouldn't welcome people who wanted to vist us -- after the first couple weeks, that is. I need some quiet time to adjust and to heal and I don't want anyone in my house when sitting and peeing are still huge challenges.

~Do you have any special plans for entertaining your other children? Or how to get them to bond/accept the new baby? Fraggle Rock. DS has Season 1, and watches it daily and Season 2 is in his Christmas Stocking. We're also looking for some dance and Cirque Du Soliel videos he might enjoy. Also, there will be LOTS of new Christmas toys to play with. As far as bonding, I really want to focus on being there for HIM as well as the new baby, and I think that having a homebirth will really help him understand the baby as a part of our family, not something that comes from outside (ie. the hospital) and might go back. Alas, he's not really getting the baby-in-mama's-tummy thing right now; I think he thinks I ate something bad!

~Will you still celebrate the holidays as usual or put things on hold?
We're VERY traditional about the holidays and actually celebrate the entire 12 days of Christmas, so I know some activities will have to be put on hold -- sledding is probably going to have to be just DH and DS this year, and our annual Epiphany Cocktail Party will probably have to be cancelled. But since it's also going to be really the first Christmas where we can introduce DS to our traditions and he'll remember and understand them, I really want to keep things as normal as we can. And, waddling down the aisle at midnight mass, hugely pregnant has been a dream of mine for YEARS and I don't want to give it up for anything but active labor.

[lisarussell]

Originally Posted by wife&mommy

What is everyone planning for after they have the baby?

~Do you have someone coming to stay with you? Or is it just you and your DH/SO?

My mother just moved to town a few months ago, they're living in our basement.

~What about a mother's helper or pp doula?
never had nay help ever with any of my (5) kids and I'm thinking it sounds like fun


~Do you expect to be able to do all the household chores, activities, etc. as normal or will you have others do things for a while?
Since I always HAVE, I expect that I'll be able to if I want. I think, however, that I will milk it as long as I can since this is my last (and 6th) baby. I'm going to pre-cook meals and try to look as weak and lame as possible. I want to finish a knitting project and take some naps with the baby.


~Do you have any plans for what to do for food or meals afterwards?
Not yet, but I am going to make some plans. We own a restaurant, so maybe I'll just get dinners delivered all the time.


~Are you welcoming all visitors or do you have restrictions?
I'm going to welcome all visitors. In the past I've always been too busy running around (running our business, running errands) to entertain visitors (even postpartum) So I will let people come over.

~Do you have any special plans for entertaining your other children? Or how to get them to bond/accept the new baby?
No plans, my older kids entertain themselves. We're homeschooling and we always take December off, so they are full of ideas to occupy themselves, and they always have a little leftover or catch-up work to do.


~Will you still celebrate the holidays as usual or put things on hold?
We're not very religious, but I love to decorate for the holidays, so I'll decorate but we don't celebrate anything but gifts. we make gifts all year long for the holidays. This week we made rose bead sachets from our rose bushes.


Oh in answering these I think it would help to know what # child this is for you. This is my second and I am FAR more nervous about the pp time than I was last time!

this is my #6. I'm plotting my pp more than ever. I'm milking it. Its my turn to need attention!

[Elsaraw]

Originally Posted by wife&mommy

What is everyone planning for after they have the baby?
1st baby

~Do you have someone coming to stay with you? Or is it just you and your DH/SO? No, I want just the three of us.

~What about a mother's helper or pp doula? No.

~Do you expect to be able to do all the household chores, activities, etc. as normal or will you have others do things for a while? My husband is capable. And then when I feel better I will clean things properly

~Do you have any plans for what to do for food or meals afterwards? We can't freeze meals because we eat raw, but my dh makes yummy stuff and when he goes back to work (will be off for a week, we wish more but he'll be in a new job) and I'm content grabbing simple food, like fruit, from the fridge.

~Are you welcoming all visitors or do you have restrictions? I want two days without visitors, I'm battling dh now about that. I'm not sociable as it is and I want a babymoon.

~Do you have any special plans for entertaining your other children? Or how to get them to bond/accept the new baby? n/a

~Will you still celebrate the holidays as usual or put things on hold? Will continue as normal, which is not much celebrating but I put an xmas tree up for the cat

Oh in answering these I think it would help to know what # child this is for you. This is my second and I am FAR more nervous about the pp time than I was last time!

1st baby

[Ceinwen]

This is baby number two for us, my dd will be turning five just after babe arrives. This baby is joining us via c-section, so my recovery is going to be somewhat different.

~Do you have someone coming to stay with you? Or is it just you and your DH/SO?

Just us! Dp is taking off two weeks, and I expect to spend a lot of time ensconced in bed being pampered (or is that me just dreaming?)

~What about a mother's helper or pp doula?

My own mother lives about 1.5 minutes away, and she's already made it clear she will be doing a lot to feed and care for me.

~Do you expect to be able to do all the household chores, activities, etc. as normal or will you have others do things for a while?

I've been warned that it may be at least three weeks before I'm starting to get my strength back, and for incision pain to subside. We're going to take it a day at a time, but I expect that I'll be needing a lot of help initially.

~Do you have any plans for what to do for food or meals afterwards?

I'm going to do a bunch of freezer meals before hand, and I'm also going to be relying on my mother to bring us dinner when she can (she completely offered).

~Are you welcoming all visitors or do you have restrictions?

First 36 hours in hospital will be very restricted. After that, people can come during visting hours. At home, it's on a call/appt. basis; with my first dd I felt obligated to be accomadating to everyone - not this time!

~Do you have any special plans for entertaining your other children? Or how to get them to bond/accept the new baby?

As far as entertaining dd goes, she's starting JK in September, so that will keep her busy. With regard to accepting the baby, all family and friends have been warned that I won't have her feeling like second fiddle. My sisters and mother are going to be very involved with Zoe during that time, and doing special things with her.

~Will you still celebrate the holidays as usual or put things on hold?

Some issues have been cancelled altogether. Usually Christmas Eve we go do dp's grandmother's house for a big event; this year we're just not going. Christmas day we're still going to my parents' place. I know while there, I can just lie on the couch and be queen all day. Boxing day we usually go to dp's parents' place, this year they're coming to our house and MIL is bringing dinner for everyone.

[Beppie]

~Do you have someone coming to stay with you? Or is it just you and your DH/SO?

My mom will be coming sometime. But I was 2 weeks late with dd#1. If I'm that late with this baby, that means it might be born around Christmas day, so my mom might be here in advance for the holiday. Otherwise she'll come after it's born. (They're a 14 hour drive away.)

~What about a mother's helper or pp doula?
Not sure. Haven't thought that far ahead.

~Do you expect to be able to do all the household chores, activities, etc. as normal or will you have others do things for a while?
I think I'll be going crazy around the house, especially with dd#1. I'm anticipating her having a very hard time with a new baby, so I think that will be my focus for a while.

~Do you have any plans for what to do for food or meals afterwards?
I'll make & freeze some meals in advance. like Lasagna, spaghetti sauce, chicken curry, etc.

~Are you welcoming all visitors or do you have restrictions?
We're really far away from family. But whoever wants to come is most welcome!

~Do you have any special plans for entertaining your other children? Or how to get them to bond/accept the new baby?
No real plans yet, and it's my biggest concern/worry!

~Will you still celebrate the holidays as usual or put things on hold?
Yes, I think we'll definitely celebrate, regardless of what's happening. Maybe I'll be in labor on Christmas Day, but then our celebration will be even more special b/c of the new baby! We're planning a homebirth, so I kind of think it'd be awesome if the baby comes on Christmas Day. I don't have to worry about being in the hospital over the holidays.

[zjande]

~Do you have someone coming to stay with you? Or is it just you and your DH/SO?
My mom, MIL, AND brother are all flying in from various parts of the country a few days before my edd to stay with us.

~What about a mother's helper or pp doula?
My mother's helpers will be: dh, my mommy, my mil, my brother, my 16 yr old DD and my 9 yr old ds.

~Do you expect to be able to do all the household chores, activities, etc. as normal or will you have others do things for a while?
I've learned the hard way that even though I feel perfectly fabulous after birthing, being active makes my bleeding really heavy so I force myself to just relax & enjoy the new family member & all the attention. Thankfully dh is entirely supportive of this.

~Do you have any plans for what to do for food or meals afterwards?
My plan is to call out "I'M HUNGRY!" quite frequently.

~Are you welcoming all visitors or do you have restrictions?
Welcoming. But I have no problem saying "I need to take a nap. Let's visit more later. Goodbye!"

~Do you have any special plans for entertaining your other children? Or how to get them to bond/accept the new baby?
I'm sure all my kids will have fun with all our visiting family members (last time my MIL stayed for 3 weeks, it was wonderful), but otherwise I don't have any special plans. My ds2 will be 25 mos old. Having closely spaced babies is all new to me so I don't know what to expect.

~Will you still celebrate the holidays as usual or put things on hold?
I'm due Christmas eve & predict that I won't give birth until after Christmas day (oh I hope I hope I hope : ). I plan to do most all our shopping online. We don't ever travel or do big exciting things on Christmas so I think it will be fine & pretty much like usual. Unless I give birth that day!!

[wife&mommy]

Bumping up some older threads to see if anyone else has anything to add!

[Throkmorton]

~Do you have someone coming to stay with you? Or is it just you and your DH/SO?

DH is going to take 2 weeks off. I am having a c-section so he is going to take short-term disability because I will be unable to pick up DD at all. My mom is taking the other kids for a day or two then DH will also have to leave me at the hospital because she can't take too much time off work.

~What about a mother's helper or pp doula?

I already have a Mother's Helper. I have informed her she will have to come more often while we settle in and she will have to clean bathrooms for a couple weeks.

~Do you expect to be able to do all the household chores, activities, etc. as normal or will you have others do things for a while?

Nope. As I said, C-section. I won't be able to do anything but nurse for 2 weeks or so. I my doctor's note that says no vacuuming, mopping, sweeping or lifting over 10 lbs for 6 weeks.

~Do you have any plans for what to do for food or meals afterwards?

Does taking this kid to visit Grandma and Grandpa, so I can eat my dad's spaghetti count? DH does 90% of the cooking now anyways.

~Are you welcoming all visitors or do you have restrictions?

Usually the threat of seeing my boobs and my nice post-partum hair style is enough to keep a steady stream of visitors at bay. Even with DD, we were going out when she was a week old, and we attended a wedding when she was 3 weeks old.

~Do you have any special plans for entertaining your other children? Or how to get them to bond/accept the new baby?

As much as I hate to admit it, 24 hour commercial-free children's programming is a great thing, isn't it? DS is excited about the new baby, and DD doesn't get it, but will probably just roll with it (she will be 18 mos)

~Will you still celebrate the holidays as usual or put things on hold?

Yep. Now I totally have an excuse not to have to drive 5 hours to go visit DH's parents too! :


This is my 3rd

[kittywitty]

~Do you have someone coming to stay with you? Or is it just you and your DH/SO?

No. Just dh, the kids and I.

~What about a mother's helper or pp doula?

No.

~Do you expect to be able to do all the household chores, activities, etc. as normal or will you have others do things for a while?

Yes, I always have had to from the second I walk in that door from the hospital.

~Do you have any plans for what to do for food or meals afterwards?

Hopefully we can freeze some meals.

~Are you welcoming all visitors or do you have restrictions?

Noone we know lives near us, so this is a non-issue.

~Do you have any special plans for entertaining your other children? Or how to get them to bond/accept the new baby?

No. It's going to be xmas break, so maybe they will get to play in the snow with dh.

~Will you still celebrate the holidays as usual or put things on hold?

Yes. We are likely driving the 4 hours to family within a couple days of baby being born. It will be insane, but we miss them.

This is #4.

[AGlimmeringHope]

Re-Doing this since I know my answers have changed.
~Do you have someone coming to stay with you? Or is it just you and your DH/SO?
We will definitely still be living with my folks. So they'll be available to help out if I need it. And knowing them, they'll try and just take the kids from me anyway. They're the sort of grandparents that are NUTS about grandkids (I'm an only child).

~What about a mother's helper or pp doula?
No, but since my dad likes doing cooking and cleaning, I guess he kind of fills that role.

~Do you expect to be able to do all the household chores, activities, etc. as normal or will you have others do things for a while?
I'll probably be able to get out of early diaper washing by sweet talking DH. My dad keeps the upstairs clean, but I'll still be in charge of our room and dd's toy room we're making her.

~Do you have any plans for what to do for food or meals afterwards?
See dad. LOL I plan on freezing some easy stuff, and having some things on hand that can just be tossed in the crock pot. But honestly, my parents rock at cooking in the colder weather. My mom's chili is to DIE FOR.

~Are you welcoming all visitors or do you have restrictions?
If you call first and we give you the okay, you're welcome to come over. If you don't call first and your name isn't Jenny or Heidi (my two best friends- they're more like my sisters) you can come over, but you run the risk of only seeing my parents as I may or may not come upstairs depending on how I feel. :x

~Do you have any special plans for entertaining your other children? Or how to get them to bond/accept the new baby?
Just this week dd has really seemed to begin to grasp the concept of the baby. She'll point to my belly and say baby and kiss my belly, etc. She loves my cousin's newborn, so I really don't think we'll have much of an issue. The biggest thing will be her not being able to give this baby a bottle (cousin's kid is FF). She LOVES giving Spencer his bottles.

~Will you still celebrate the holidays as usual or put things on hold?
Actually, I want to try and start MORE traditions this year. :x Yes, I'm crazy! I want to take dd out looking at Christmas lights and for hot chocolate with peppermint, make a schedule of when we celebrate with each of our families since I can't go out of town to see DH's family because of their smoking. I really like them, too, but I can't do 30-50 people smoking in a small house because of my asthma, sinuses, and migraines. Last time I did I wound up literally turning greenish and was sick for 3 days.

[Belleweather]

Our answers have changed a lot too.

It now looks like we ARE going to have people come to stay for the birth and immediate post-partum period. Contrary to all expectation, DS's Godfather and our close friend Justin and his finace are going to be able to come up and be here for the birth. We needed someone to watch DS and I can't think of anyone I'd rather have there than Justin -- he was there for his sister's birth when he was nine and talks about it all the time and is a huge natural childbirth advocate AND he is very calm and reassuring and generally good with DS.

Intellectually, I think this is fabulous -- we needed someone to come and help, and Justin and Laura will be far more comforting and less disruptive than, say, my mom (who likes to 'take over' everything including mothering my babies). Emotionally, I'm really torn because those quiet days when it was just our little family when DS was born were so beautiful and valuable and I'm scared we'll lose that.

But... it also solves our Post-partum Doula/Chores/Food question, since they're also snobby food people and will be MORE than happy to feed us and go out for groceries while they're here, which is a great weight off my mind. Plus they're the kind of friends who you can treat even more like family than family -- meaning that I'm comfortable asking them to run the dishwasher or switch the laundry, and that I don't feel like I have to entertain them. I envision many evenings of lounging on couches and futons nursing and playing video games.

[SandraS]

~Do you have someone coming to stay with you? Or is it just you and your DH/SO? No, no need - I would HATE to have anyone in my home.

~What about a mother's helper or pp doula? Nope. Hubby and I can handle the kids just fine!

~Do you expect to be able to do all the household chores, activities, etc. as normal or will you have others do things for a while? I see no reason why I won't be doing laundry, cooking, or whatever.

~Do you have any plans for what to do for food or meals afterwards? Same as before.

~Are you welcoming all visitors or do you have restrictions? All visitors welcome - pass that baby around like a hot potato!!

~Do you have any special plans for entertaining your other children? Or how to get them to bond/accept the new baby? Don't anticipate any problems there.

~Will you still celebrate the holidays as usual or put things on hold? Celebrate as usual! As long as I have this baby by noon on the 24th, I'll be making the 3 hour drive to be at our annual family reunion on the 25th.

[Friday13th]

This is baby number 1 so this is pretty much what I'd prefer now based on how I normally behave when I feel crappy, I have no idea what I'll actually want at the time.

~Do you have someone coming to stay with you? Or is it just you and your DH/SO?
I really, really, really don't want anyone in the house. They can come up and see us before we check out of the hospital and then I want them out of my hair.

~What about a mother's helper or pp doula? Again, no. I think DH and I need time to adjust and figure things out by ourselves.

~Do you expect to be able to do all the household chores, activities, etc. as normal or will you have others do things for a while? That's DH's job for a while. I'll freeze some meals ahead of time but he's a good cook and more than adequate when it comes to house work.

~Do you have any plans for what to do for food or meals afterwards?
Some freezing of meals, I'm sure some takeout and DH cooking

~Are you welcoming all visitors or do you have restrictions?
I don't mind visitors who don't stay long and don't mind me possibly wandering around topless.

~Do you have any special plans for entertaining your other children? Or how to get them to bond/accept the new baby? N/A

~Will you still celebrate the holidays as usual or put things on hold?
I'm hoping we can get in our yearly Yule celebration dinner with DH's family although we may have to do it early. Otherwise I'd love for a quiet X-mas day at home where people actually come to us instead of our usual hauling ourselves and all the gifts from one house to another for two days.

[Tiny_Dancer]

I guess I never answered these questions. I think we have a pretty good plan so far-This is our second baby. DD will be 20 months exactly on edd. DD was born in the late 36th week and all the women in our fam. go early so I'm sorta counting on him being at least a week early.

~Do you have someone coming to stay with you? Or is it just you and your DH/SO?

Not staying WITH us at our house, but hopefully my mom and sisters will spend lots of time here (they all live close by)and after the first week we'll have our in-laws come. They stay in a nearby hotel. Last time we way over did it with time spent with them immediately after the birth. Bfing and bonding really suffered since they were at our house All. the. time. i won't let that happen again. I plan to hold my boy constantly, establish a strong bfing relationship and not be afraid to tell people to get out of my hair when we need a break!!!

~What about a mother's helper or pp doula?

I am seriously considering this since I plan to have at least a 15 day lying in period, mostly in my bedroom. Our doula does 1-2 pp visits but I think I'd like to actually hire someone to do petty stuff like laundry, prepare snacks (I'm ravonous pp!!) and tidy the house. This would be especially nice for dh and provide extra time for him to love up on dd during those first days. I will also ask my mom and sisters for lots of help.

~Do you expect to be able to do all the household chores, activities, etc. as normal or will you have others do things for a while?

I will do NOTHING except eat, rest, hold my new baby, breastfeed and hang out in our bed with dd and dh as we all get to know our new Son/Brother!!! (I really overdid it last time and am so excited to just make our bedroom a quiet retreat and sanctuary for our expanding family.)

~Do you have any plans for what to do for food or meals afterwards?

I love cooking and have a list of freezer meals, especially SOUPS I'll make in oct/nov. DH is a great cook also so he can always pitch in. Last time lots of family and friends from our church brought meals so hopefully that will happen again!

~Are you welcoming all visitors or do you have restrictions?

I alluded to this above. I love visitors but they must call first and we'll tell them what time is good for us and this time I'm putting a sign on the door asking people to keep their stay to a minimum.

~Do you have any special plans for entertaining your other children? Or how to get them to bond/accept the new baby?

dd is a little scatter brained-not one to sit down with one activity for any significant amount of time. Hopefully, she'll hang out with us in the bedroom but also she'll spend a lot of time at my sister's house. her cousin is just 3 wks younger than her and they ADORE each other and love to play together. It makes me happy that there is somewhere fun she can go during those early days.

We're slowly learning about babies in general at our house. We don't tell dd there's a baby in my belly cause she's just learning body parts and it seems too complicated right now. She does kiss my tummy though. She also points to the u/s pic on our fridge and signs "baby". She has a doll that we play with. I think by the time he comes, she'll know he's "our baby" and be such a great helper. (Right now, I still consider DD my "baby" )


~Will you still celebrate the holidays as usual or put things on hold?
I love Christmas and the whole Holiday Season, starting with Thanksgiving! My to do list includes decorating all out BEFORE Thanksgiving. I want it to be a really magical and meaningful season of new birth for our family and decorating helps set the mood!!! I'm really committed to my lying in time so depending on when the baby comes, we probably won't do any of our normal extended family Christmas traditions. This makes me sad but I also think it sounds perfectly romantic to just be here in our house drinking mother's milk tea and watching dd open a stocking while kissing my new baby on the nose. Our theme for this Christmas will be PEACE within our home and hearts!!! If that means skipping all the extra stuff, we'll just read the Christmas story at home and cuddle by the fire.

[dec07mama]

This is Baby #2 for us:

~Do you have someone coming to stay with you? Or is it just you and your DH/SO? - No, just me & DH & DD5.

~What about a mother's helper or pp doula? - No. I will have a birthing doula, and she does two post-partum visits but I'm not hiring a pp doula specifically.

~Do you expect to be able to do all the household chores, activities, etc. as normal or will you have others do things for a while? - Taking care of baby comes first for me, and of course taking care of DD5 as well. Whatever else I can do, I try to manage. DH will have to help out more around the house.

~Do you have any plans for what to do for food or meals afterwards? Nope! We'll just have to worry about that on a day-to-day basis. I hate to meal-plan in advance. I used to do freezer meals a few years ago when DD was younger but, given that she is on a gluten/dairy-free diet, it is really hard to find freezer meals that are suitable for her to it. So, we just wing it each day.

~Are you welcoming all visitors or do you have restrictions? - Nobody is allowed to come over earlier than 10:00 am! I generally don't get a lot of visitors coming to the house...just my mom and my two sisters and my two nieces.

~Do you have any special plans for entertaining your other children? Or how to get them to bond/accept the new baby? - DD5 did not want a sibling at all. We decided not to enroll her in kindergarten this year and to homeschool instead. It is most important for us that she spend this time bonding with the baby.

~Will you still celebrate the holidays as usual or put things on hold? - I guess it all depends on when exactly baby will arrive! Hopefully, we will be celebrating as usual. We normally spend Christmas Day at my parents' house with my siblings and their families. I really hope to NOT be stuck in the hospital at Christmas!