DD, just turned 5, has a tendency to overreact, especially to bodily hurt. i've always been very empathetic and validating, and she'd wail and sob, sometimes for hours. an example that stands out in my mind--when at the age of 4 and optometrist sprayed cool mist over her CLOSED eyes, after we explained to her what was going to happen, she cried for the rest of the appointment (the doc said she's never seen a child cry after this); she cried for an hour on the train back home--on and off, but mostly on; she was upset and ruminating about it for another 3 hours while we were out at her favorite mall where she got to ride her favorite stroller-car. and then she wailed some more when DH got home and she told him about her horrible morning.
that one was on the longish side, but it is typical for her to cry, on and off, for up to 30 minutes after falling on a dirt road and scraping the skin on her finger--not deep enough to even draw blood.
i feel terrible about it, but i am starting to be irritated by this. i try to model more "controlled" reactions, but it doesn't seem to work. like if i burn myself while cooking, i'd say ouch, and she'd rush to me to check on me, and i'd say, not a big deal, just a bit of a burn, no, i don't need a bandaid. stuff like that.
i also told her recently that different people feel pain differently, and that most people don't feel that much pain with minor bumps. i started to distinguish for her between pain and discomfort, but she insists that what she is epxeriencing is terrible pain.
i do know that different people do have different thresholds, but what tells me that hers is pretty normal is that she often wouldn't even notice the pain unless she sees a scratch of a bump. she'd be totally okay, then she'd see a small scrape, and she'd start wailing, tell me she is in terrible pain, etc. and i find it is so hard to be trully empathetic. i know she does feel things deeply, but i tend to tell her now, matter of factly, okay, that's a small red spot on your hand, that's okay, that's nothing, lets go and read now.
her reactions are especially startling, as DS would fall really hard sometimes, cry for 3 seconds, and say, happily, I am sitting! as though sitting was his purpose in life.
what do you think is the best way to deal with someone like this? i don't want to tell her that her hurts are not legitimate, but i also don't want to let her know that she can cry for hours after a tiny scratch. now as she is older, she also likes telling people about her terrible wounds, and show her barely noticeable scrape or red spot, and i am afraid people would laugh at her, as some already had, though good naturally.
that one was on the longish side, but it is typical for her to cry, on and off, for up to 30 minutes after falling on a dirt road and scraping the skin on her finger--not deep enough to even draw blood.
i feel terrible about it, but i am starting to be irritated by this. i try to model more "controlled" reactions, but it doesn't seem to work. like if i burn myself while cooking, i'd say ouch, and she'd rush to me to check on me, and i'd say, not a big deal, just a bit of a burn, no, i don't need a bandaid. stuff like that.
i also told her recently that different people feel pain differently, and that most people don't feel that much pain with minor bumps. i started to distinguish for her between pain and discomfort, but she insists that what she is epxeriencing is terrible pain.
i do know that different people do have different thresholds, but what tells me that hers is pretty normal is that she often wouldn't even notice the pain unless she sees a scratch of a bump. she'd be totally okay, then she'd see a small scrape, and she'd start wailing, tell me she is in terrible pain, etc. and i find it is so hard to be trully empathetic. i know she does feel things deeply, but i tend to tell her now, matter of factly, okay, that's a small red spot on your hand, that's okay, that's nothing, lets go and read now.
her reactions are especially startling, as DS would fall really hard sometimes, cry for 3 seconds, and say, happily, I am sitting! as though sitting was his purpose in life.
what do you think is the best way to deal with someone like this? i don't want to tell her that her hurts are not legitimate, but i also don't want to let her know that she can cry for hours after a tiny scratch. now as she is older, she also likes telling people about her terrible wounds, and show her barely noticeable scrape or red spot, and i am afraid people would laugh at her, as some already had, though good naturally.
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