Everything has changed...

[stacey0402]

I always knew I wouldn't circ my son, but I never really understood the emotional response some mommas have when they hear that another mom does want to circ her son. Now that I have a perfect, whole little boy everything has changed. I cry at the thought of another baby boy being circumcised. It makes me so angry.

You see, my son is perfect and I can't imagine wanting to change anything about him. He doesn't look like his dad, and that's okay. They don't have the same eyes, chin, or ears either. I looked at my baby when we were still in the hospital and just cried thinking about letting somebody take him away and hurt him like that. I see posts where mothers want me to respect their decision and I just can't. I hate the mommy wars, I agree that we need to support eachother in our parenting decisions, but I can't support this.

I just can't believe how much my perspective has changed since having my son.

[bluetoes]

Originally Posted by stacey0402

I always knew I wouldn't circ my son, but I never really understood the emotional response some mommas have when they hear that another mom does want to circ her son. Now that I have a perfect, whole little boy everything has changed. I cry at the thought of another baby boy being circumcised. It makes me so angry.

You see, my son is perfect and I can't imagine wanting to change anything about him. He doesn't look like his dad, and that's okay. They don't have the same eyes, chin, or ears either. I looked at my baby when we were still in the hospital and just cried thinking about letting somebody take him away and hurt him like that. I see posts where mothers want me to respect their decision and I just can't. I hate the mommy wars, I agree that we need to support eachother in our parenting decisions, but I can't support this.

I just can't believe how much my perspective has changed since having my son.

I am exactly the same. I was always against it and thought it was just a dumb thing to do. Once I realised the horror and particularly after my son was born I got REALLY mad. And every day I get more and more angry. I think about it every diaper change and it just makes me so sad.

[Quirky]

I hear you. It's amazing what actually SEEING an intact boy and realizing that his foreskin is just as much a part of him as his foot or his eyelids will do.

[Yulia_R]

Originally Posted by stacey0402

I always knew I wouldn't circ my son, but I never really understood the emotional response some mommas have when they hear that another mom does want to circ her son. Now that I have a perfect, whole little boy everything has changed. I cry at the thought of another baby boy being circumcised. It makes me so angry.

You see, my son is perfect and I can't imagine wanting to change anything about him. He doesn't look like his dad, and that's okay. They don't have the same eyes, chin, or ears either. I looked at my baby when we were still in the hospital and just cried thinking about letting somebody take him away and hurt him like that. I see posts where mothers want me to respect their decision and I just can't. I hate the mommy wars, I agree that we need to support eachother in our parenting decisions, but I can't support this.

I just can't believe how much my perspective has changed since having my son.

You don't have to respect abuse! There is nothing there to respect!
Would you respect if someone, let's, say decide to amputate their child's finger or toes? For any reason (religious, cosmetical, etc.)...would you respect that or would you think that this person is out of her @#$%^% mind? Same about foreskin...

[mamasophy]

I don't respect parents who circ their daughters either! Yet they feel that we should honor their customs and not be judgemental, just as pro-MGM people here do.

[A&A]

Originally Posted by stacey0402

I just can't believe how much my perspective has changed since having my son.

That's EXACTLY what happened to me, too. You're in the club now! :

[+stella+]

I am glad you feel this way and I think I know what spurred your decision to say so, and I commend you for saying something where people cover their ears and say "la la la we cant hear you". I am not a member there, just a lurker trying to score some fluff here and there and I commend all you mommas who stuck your neck out a little.
:heart

[stacey0402]

Originally Posted by A&A

That's EXACTLY what happened to me, too. You're in the club now! :

Yay! I need to change my signature I guess

[stacey0402]

Originally Posted by +stella+

I am glad you feel this way and I think I know what spurred your decision to say so, and I commend you for saying something where people cover their ears and say "la la la we cant hear you". I am not a member there, just a lurker trying to score some fluff here and there and I commend all you mommas who stuck your neck out a little.
:heart

thanks momma

[LavenderMae]

I was anti-circ before I had my first son. I thought it was horrible before I had my first son. But after I had my first boy I became a thousands times more against it. Having my first perfect and precious little boy made me realize just how wrong circ really is in a way I just couldn't completely understand before I had him.
So, yes I understand how you feel!

[Mama2E&O]

I know exactly what you mean. While pregnant with my daughter, we made the decision that if she was a boy we would not circumcise. But we were not as completely emotionally invested in it as we are now, now that we've got two sons as well. Before we saw it as something unecessary that we just wouldn't choose to do. Now it is horrifying.

[eepster]

Totally know what you mean. I come from a non-circ'ing imigrant family and never got why so many americans did it, or why in this generation (all girl for my generation) my sister and some cousins went along with their DHs, but it never truely hit home how one would have to disconnect in order to let that happen to thier perfect new babies till I had my boy.

[Mommiska]

That's exactly why I became involved over this issue - the birth of my son. We knew we'd never circ, but once ds was here, I was absolutely horrified by the idea that anyone thought I somehow had the right to do that to him/his body. :

[savienu]

Oh, I am totally with you there!! Before my son was born but after researching circumcision I decided not to circ. But I was in no way so emotionally horrified by it like I am now. I thought it was just me- thought maybe I was "obsessed" or whatever. But I cry every time I think about it, every time I think of anyone doing that to their perfect, whole baby boy. It's like, they are born and they don't know WHAT they are in for with it. It's so disgusting...great, now I feel sick again and want to cry...

[hipumpkins]

On and off for the past 2 years I look at my son sleeping and i cry...I am not kidding or exaggerating..I break down and weep for the babies who were circumcised.
Welcome to the club

[healthymantra]

I thought I was crazy

My son is two and a half, and I NEVER planned to circ EVER. I am from the UK, and so this was something the crazy Americans did, but I would have no part of it.
My DH doesn't really want to talk about it, because that means discussing that there's something wrong with him. We didn't circ, and have gotten mixed reactions from DH's family. (My family, of course, took it for granted that we wouldn't be doing it).
My BIL and his wife have a son, and are expecting again. They did it to their oldest, and will do it again, because BIL 'had it done, and doesn't remember it' and 'is just fine now'. The fine line I walk here is that I love my DH dearly, but the simple fact is that neither of them is 'just fine' now, they just don't know what they're missing.
So I lurk and read and occasionally post on CAC boards, just so I know that there are other sane people out there. I grieve for any boy who's parents willingly let this happen, especially when it's a purely cosmetic reason (as in BIL and wife's case).
Do you know that in her book Jenny McCarthy said that she 'decided to circumcise her son so that he would have a PRETTY PENIS?????'
I threw that book out the SECOND I read that sentence.

I guess in a really LONG way, I'm saying that this is a common feeling for those of us who choose not to, in a family/community/country where it is so easily done.

As a positive note, though, in my son's pre-school class the uncircumcised boys are at about 80%.
So I guess if we keep up this rate, the old arguement about the locker room is going to be sadly on the other side!

Love you all, mindful mammas!!!!!

[PuppyFluffer]

The damage of circumcision goes far and wide ....even when you dont circ your own children.

[bluetoes]

Originally Posted by healthymantra

My son is two and a half, and I NEVER planned to circ EVER. I am from the UK, and so this was something the crazy Americans did, but I would have no part of it.
My DH doesn't really want to talk about it, because that means discussing that there's something wrong with him. We didn't circ, and have gotten mixed reactions from DH's family. (My family, of course, took it for granted that we wouldn't be doing it).
My BIL and his wife have a son, and are expecting again. They did it to their oldest, and will do it again, because BIL 'had it done, and doesn't remember it' and 'is just fine now'. The fine line I walk here is that I love my DH dearly, but the simple fact is that neither of them is 'just fine' now, they just don't know what they're missing.
So I lurk and read and occasionally post on CAC boards, just so I know that there are other sane people out there. I grieve for any boy who's parents willingly let this happen, especially when it's a purely cosmetic reason (as in BIL and wife's case).
Do you know that in her book Jenny McCarthy said that she 'decided to circumcise her son so that he would have a PRETTY PENIS?????'
I threw that book out the SECOND I read that sentence.

I guess in a really LONG way, I'm saying that this is a common feeling for those of us who choose not to, in a family/community/country where it is so easily done.

As a positive note, though, in my son's pre-school class the uncircumcised boys are at about 80%.
So I guess if we keep up this rate, the old arguement about the locker room is going to be sadly on the other side!

Love you all, mindful mammas!!!!!

That is why I come to anti-circ places as well. Although I am American I moved to Ireland right after college. So a lot of my adult opinions and things I learned about were formed there. So when it comes to the issue of circ. I am obviously horrified as would all my family and friends there although it wasn't an issue I ever thought about until I moved back here. Didn't have to. If we'd circ'ed I think they would have completely lost respect for us. To hear what my SIL says about the Americans she works with that circ....

Anyway, it's v. lonely living in the US sometimes. My American girlfriends I don't think agree and just sort of enternain me with their heads in the sand. It will be very very hard to stay close with them if they have boys and circ. Thankfully we have some Irish friends here who also agree and we often talk about the madness that it is. I remember my Irish girlfriend here announcing a few years ago 'you're not going to believe what they do their little baby boys penises here!!'

[TigerTail]

it's not surprising that the rise of ric in victorian times coincides with the advent of using ether/chloroform on birthing mothers.

[bluetoes]

Originally Posted by TigerTail

it's not surprising that the rise of ric in victorian times coincides with the advent of using ether/chloroform on birthing mothers.

The might have happened around the same time but I doubt one related to the other too much and certainly not in relation to pain relief these days. Keep in mind that while not circing might seen as somewhat tied in with natural mothering in the US it isn't in the rest of the world that doesn't circ. So your average European woman doped up to the gills at her own request that arrives at the hospital with formula in her bag isn't going to circ.

In my own case being so incredibly anti-circ has allied me with the more 'crunchy' types in the US. Which I am glad to say has helped me learn about and do a lot of things differently than I might have if I'd been still living in Europe and this was a non-issue for me. So thank you MDC