Hi there wise mamas,
My dd, age two, has a tendency to pinch other toddlers on occasion, or to pull hair. It's gotten lots and lots better; I realize that this is age-appropriate; I am not worried. I try to prevent this kind of behavior by helping her to be well-fed, well-rested, recently pottied, etc., and if I sense that she is likely to act aggressively, I try to stay one step ahead of her and calmly physically intervene, saying "I'm not going to let you hurt Mary." Etc.
For the last month or so, she has been actively trying to process these episodes afterwards. Often, the first thing out of her mouth upon waking is, "No pull hair! Open hand! Ow! Hurts! No! Not do it!" She'll run through the whole script 2-3 times, with lots of dramatic emphasis, gesturing, and animation. She has this intense need to talk about it, when it has happened, but also just in general (when there is no specific incident she's referring to). I am certainly not intending to guilt-trip her, and I leave the hair-pulling etc. behind, just as soon as it is over. I would never bring it up later that day, or the next day -- but she almost always does.
I guess I am wondering mostly how to respond when she brings this up. I've tried just affirming what she is saying (it is, after all, an almost perfect imitation of what her papa and I say!
), but she looks at me sort of searchingly, like there is something else I ought to be saying. I'm just not sure what she's going through, exactly, or how to guide her.
Any thoughts?
My dd, age two, has a tendency to pinch other toddlers on occasion, or to pull hair. It's gotten lots and lots better; I realize that this is age-appropriate; I am not worried. I try to prevent this kind of behavior by helping her to be well-fed, well-rested, recently pottied, etc., and if I sense that she is likely to act aggressively, I try to stay one step ahead of her and calmly physically intervene, saying "I'm not going to let you hurt Mary." Etc.
For the last month or so, she has been actively trying to process these episodes afterwards. Often, the first thing out of her mouth upon waking is, "No pull hair! Open hand! Ow! Hurts! No! Not do it!" She'll run through the whole script 2-3 times, with lots of dramatic emphasis, gesturing, and animation. She has this intense need to talk about it, when it has happened, but also just in general (when there is no specific incident she's referring to). I am certainly not intending to guilt-trip her, and I leave the hair-pulling etc. behind, just as soon as it is over. I would never bring it up later that day, or the next day -- but she almost always does.
I guess I am wondering mostly how to respond when she brings this up. I've tried just affirming what she is saying (it is, after all, an almost perfect imitation of what her papa and I say!
), but she looks at me sort of searchingly, like there is something else I ought to be saying. I'm just not sure what she's going through, exactly, or how to guide her.Any thoughts?
