Montessori - good, bad, ugly?

[Celery]

I'm thinking about maybe a Montessori pre-school next year for my will-be-3 year old. However, I know very little about it, and what I've heard is a little unsettling. Any real info and experiences out there?

What unsettles me is calling play 'work', and only having one right way to use toys rather than experimenting and being creative. I like the idea of encouraging competency in daily tasks and try to do that now since I read about it. But is Montessori really rigid?

Waldorf doesn't appeal to me, I don't think. But again, I don't know a lot.

[sunshine's mama]

Montessori wasn't rigid like that when I was young (i went from 1st grade thru 8th grade) at all and the schools here aren't either.....

There is a great subforum here that has alot of Montessori info on it so I would look there....

I would LOVE to send dd to Montessori when the time came but we can't afford it......I really wish we could...

I wouldn't send her as long as I went though. It was really hard to transition into high school...going from hands on learning to book learnng where everyone was supposed to learn the same thing at the same time...I alread knew alot of it......but I would send dd as long as I thought it was ok and the transition would be easier for her.

I would also love to homeschool her but I don't have the disipline for it.....

HTH

[lalaland42]

DD goes to Montessori and really loves it. Have you gone to the school that your DC will go to and observed? What did you think?

Montessori actually meshes pretty well with my parenting style and very well with DD's personality so her Montessori school has worked out fairly well.

Calling 'toys' 'works' - The idea behind this is that adults should treat children with respect and using the term work gives their activities the importance it deserves. Really, the negative connotation with the word 'work' is an adult one. When I pick DD up from school, I ask her what she did today and she says (with the biggest smile on her face), "I did work all day long". Never mind she only goes for 3 hours, 3 days a week. To her, she did a great job with her works and she is excited about what she did. DD is 27 months in case you were wondering.

Respecting the works - This concept seemed a little harsh to me as well because I don't want someone to tell her how to play. The way this is interpreted at DD's school is that she has to treat the materials with respect. No standing on them, throwing them, eating them, etc. She is also encouraged to work in her own space and then cleans up afterwards. I have observed her using the "works" completely incorrectly (I think she was using an animal as a hat) but as long as she was respecting the materials, she wasn't corrected.

DD's personality and our home environment- DD has been going to Montessori since 12 months but her personality seems well suited to that type of environment. Two words that describe her are "self-sufficient" and "independent". She also has a long attention span for a toddler. She has always been this way. At home, I encourage her to do as much for herself as she feels comfortable with. I just gave her a new job, putting the dinner plates on the table. She carries ceramic plates with food over a tile floor to the dinner table and sets them down at each place. She also always wants to do things for herself including picking out her own clothes (since 12 months) and getting in her carseat herself (several months now). She is not overly serious either, she is in fact completely goofy but her independence and self-sufficience lend itself well to Montessori. Those self-sufficient/independent traits are the kind of thing that Montessori tries to bring out. Some people don't like that and it definitely has its drawbacks(!) but it really works for our family.

Check out the Montessori forum under Learning at School, there are a lot wiser women there who know a lot more about Montessori.

Before deciding, you should definitely visit the school and watch the kids. A good Montessori school will want to meet your child as well to make sure your DC will mesh with Montessori. You should also find out about associations (AMI/AMS) before deciding because any school can call themselves Montessori. There is more info about this in the other forum as well.

HTH.

[Celery]

a whole subforum, and a comparisons sub-forum, too. Thank you, I will go there and read at once! I haven't been to any pre-schools yet, I'm still researching the styles and what to look for.

[erin_d_a]

my DH went to montesorri and says he will never send any of our children the same way. It didn't work well for him and he says he doesn't like the way the education is done.

However he is a very structured person, who likes to have things laid out for him and he is systematic. He has always been this way, so I think that part of his problem is his personality (HA that sounds bad) He thrived in prep school for jr. high and high school.

[TripMom]

Originally Posted by Celery

What unsettles me is calling play 'work', and only having one right way to use toys rather than experimenting and being creative.

I'll share a convo with you - its between my DS (4 at the time) and his best friend - next door neighbor boy - same age. My DS in Montessori and friend in play based preschool.

Friend: DS, next year we have to go to Kindergarten. They are going to make us do "work" and its going to be really boring.

DS: That's not true. Next year at Kindergarten I am going to do really fun work.

In other words - the word "work" had no negative connotation at all to my DS - he merely associated it with the cool stuff he got to do at preschool . . . . and, it clearly instilled a love of learning in him. Whereas his friend has the idea that you won't get to "play" at school and that it will be boring . . . .

[chinaKat]

Well, at least in my neighborhood it's WAY more expensive than the other preschools.

IMO unless you have a ton of money to burn I can't see spending that kind of cash on *pre-school* for a three year old.

It seems to me like you are paying a premium for a designer name.

I suspect that if you shop around you may find another "no-name" preschool that meshes just as well with your parenting styles and values, that won't charge an arm and a leg to teach your kid what a triangle is.

[GuildJenn]

Originally Posted by chinaKat

Well, at least in my neighborhood it's WAY more expensive than the other preschools.

IMO unless you have a ton of money to burn I can't see spending that kind of cash on *pre-school* for a three year old.

It seems to me like you are paying a premium for a designer name.

I suspect that if you shop around you may find another "no-name" preschool that meshes just as well with your parenting styles and values, that won't charge an arm and a leg to teach your kid what a triangle is.

Wow, in mine it's cheaper than a lot of the preschools. I bet this is a regional thing (even downtown here they are way more $$, but so are the preschools).

I think Montessoris have a wide range because there are no limitations on the use of the name - that's why you have to look for professional affiliations if that is important to you.

We just chose a particular Montessori because we liked the feel of it - small, staff that seemed very warm and caring, well planned out, etc. I observed them a few times and they were not too rigid about the works/toys... as a pp said it was more about respecting the material than having to do a particular thing with it a particular way all the time.

I actually find my son naturally gravitates towards "work" at home - he loves his trains and things, but if he has the option to shell peas or wash beans or vaccuum, he's all over it. I am storing up memories to treasure during the teen years LOL.

But I was interested in the Montessori method because it is largely individual and I like that idea - that the kids can self-direct and aren't rushed; my son is good at that now and it would be nice to see it continue. I'm not concerned about the lack of imaginative "fairy story" type play as we have fairies and elves at our house...

[kaliki_kila]

The problem with Montessori is that Maria Montessori did not want to copyright her ideas, so schools take a little bit of this and a little bit of that and then say they are a Montessori school.. Any school can call themselves a Montessori school without having to honor the actual Montessori philosophies. So it really depends solely on the school and each school can be vastly different. I would suggest visiting the school you are considering and observing their practices.

I think the most important thing you want to look for is that the school has an open-door policy and you are allowed to visit at any time. Some Montessori schools I have seen do not want the parents to interrupt the children's space, so you drop off/collect your child at the door and are discouraged from going inside. (This is what I have seen at some schools I have visited; I would guess not all are like this).

[healthymantra]

Originally Posted by chinaKat

Well, at least in my neighborhood it's WAY more expensive than the other preschools.

IMO unless you have a ton of money to burn I can't see spending that kind of cash on *pre-school* for a three year old.

It seems to me like you are paying a premium for a designer name.

I suspect that if you shop around you may find another "no-name" preschool that meshes just as well with your parenting styles and values, that won't charge an arm and a leg to teach your kid what a triangle is.

I think it belittles the whole thing to call it 'pre-school'. It is very much 'school' but without the negative connotations we adults, who mostly went through the factory-model school, have.

Current brain research states that more is learned from 0 to 6 years, than at any other stage in life. In fact we set the neural pathways for organization, sequencing, time management, and large and small motor control during this plane of development. To me, this means that investing at this age, in a quality experience for my child, is of more value than setting up a college fund. After all, a 3 year old cannot pay for it themselves, but a motivated 18 or 20 year old is more likely to be able to find a way.

'Montessori' is not a 'designer name' unlike some chain 'preschools' are. Doctor Montessori invested 50 years of her life, over at least three continents, refining and developing her philosophy on child development. Everything she saw and concluded, EVERYTHING, is now being supported by the latest in brain research. Read 'Montessori, the Science Behind the Genius' by Angeline Lillard if you are interested.
Another point the OP should consider, is that Montessori is not something that just happens when the child is in the classroom, but a way of life the whole family needs to be open to. The posters who have stated ways their child demonstrates independence and an interest in real involvement in the home life obviously find that this approach to human development agrees with their family and parenting style. Many parents do not feel they have the time to let their child 'do the vacuuming' (you KNOW you're doing it again later!) or help with food preparation, and do not see the long-term benefits of this involvement.

It is not an issue of money, of 'keeping up with the Jones' or alternatively finding a cheap place for their child to socialize. Many parents prioritize this investment in their child's future, opting for an older car and fewer out-of-state vacations.

Oh and please, don't belittle any pre-school by reducing it to just learning what a triangle is.

[TripMom]

Originally Posted by kaliki_kila

The problem with Montessori is that Maria Montessori did not want to copyright her ideas, so schools take a little bit of this and a little bit of that and then say they are a Montessori school.. Any school can call themselves a Montessori school without having to honor the actual Montessori philosophies. So it really depends solely on the school and each school can be vastly different. I would suggest visiting the school you are considering and observing their practices.

This is very true. You want to make sure the Montessori school is true Montessori - and not someone ripping off the name that was never trademarked. You can tell by finding out if the school is part of the US or Int'l Montessori organizations. Also - they teachers should be certified Montessori.

In our area - there are many schools calling themselves Montessori - and only a couple that actually are.

[Valkyrie9]

Originally Posted by healthymantra

It is not an issue of money, of 'keeping up with the Jones' or alternatively finding a cheap place for their child to socialize. Many parents prioritize this investment in their child's future, opting for an older car and fewer out-of-state vacations.

Oh and please, don't belittle any pre-school by reducing it to just learning what a triangle is.

Very well put.

[Melda]

Originally Posted by chinaKat

Well, at least in my neighborhood it's WAY more expensive than the other preschools.

IMO unless you have a ton of money to burn I can't see spending that kind of cash on *pre-school* for a three year old.

It seems to me like you are paying a premium for a designer name.

I suspect that if you shop around you may find another "no-name" preschool that meshes just as well with your parenting styles and values, that won't charge an arm and a leg to teach your kid what a triangle is.

Well First off ... i dont have a ton of money to burn matter of fact we just lost about 2/3 of our income with my hubby losing his job ... I just have 2 children whose future is in my hands at the moment and I want to do what I feel is best by them. My son knows way more than what a triangle is and he learned it because of his montessori education ...like the time in the car he was telling me about trapazoids and parallelograms (did i share he was 5 when we had this converation?) .... please dont minimize peoples choices when it comes to educating their children and what they feel is best for it.

[Maluhia]

Originally Posted by Melda

please dont minimize peoples choices when it comes to educating their children and what they feel is best for it.

ditto

This thread seems to be to come here and bash Montessori which I find strange - but it could just be my perception. If you want to compare - I'd go to that area of this board. There are a lot of great things about a lot of learning styles and here you can find out the good and some of the drawbacks of the one this group of parents chose - but please don't belittle it in an area to share about this style - its just out of place.

I hope the OP finds the learning style and curriculum that fits their child - be it Montessori or not.

Best,
Kulia

[TripMom]

Originally Posted by Melda

Well First off ... i dont have a ton of money to burn matter of fact we just lost about 2/3 of our income with my hubby losing his job ... I just have 2 children whose future is in my hands at the moment and I want to do what I feel is best by them. My son knows way more than what a triangle is and he learned it because of his montessori education ...like the time in the car he was telling me about trapazoids and parallelograms (did i share he was 5 when we had this converation?) .... please dont minimize peoples choices when it comes to educating their children and what they feel is best for it.

For me its not so much what they learn . . . .but they learn "how" to learn. And they love learning - its seen as a positive. See my previous post. My son is so excited to go to Kindergarten - and his little friend is already anticipating that it will be boring and that they are going to make him do work.

[RomanGoddess]

Originally Posted by chinaKat

Well, at least in my neighborhood it's WAY more expensive than the other preschools.

IMO unless you have a ton of money to burn I can't see spending that kind of cash on *pre-school* for a three year old.

It seems to me like you are paying a premium for a designer name.

I suspect that if you shop around you may find another "no-name" preschool that meshes just as well with your parenting styles and values, that won't charge an arm and a leg to teach your kid what a triangle is.

We have a public Montessori school in our neighbourhood that our DD will probably be attending this fall. It's from ages 3 to 6. Is there anything other than cost that you don't like. I'm not sure what else you are getting at when you say "designer".

[RomanGoddess]

Originally Posted by erin_d_a

However he is a very structured person, who likes to have things laid out for him and he is systematic. He has always been this way, so I think that part of his problem is his personality (HA that sounds bad) He thrived in prep school for jr. high and high school.

That's interesting because to me, that sounds like exactly the kind of person that would do WELL in Montessori. The Montessori method is, in fact, in its "pure" form, very structured. Is it possible that he was not at a real Montessori school but at a knock off one that just uses free play and calls it Montessori cause kids can "do whatever they want"?

[lalaland42]

Originally Posted by TripMom

For me its not so much what they learn . . . .but they learn "how" to learn. And they love learning - its seen as a positive. See my previous post. My son is so excited to go to Kindergarten - and his little friend is already anticipating that it will be boring and that they are going to make him do work.

This is what is important for me too. I picked up DD from school and again I asked her what she did in school today and her response: "I did works all day long" with the biggest smile on her face. (She is 2) Then she started talking about all the fun stuff she learned.

As for the PP who bashed montessori, this thread was originally in a parenting forum so I am assuming it was just someone who saw it and clicked.

[chekhovgirl]

Most adults think "work" has a negative connotation. Wouldn't it be great to be in an environment where you love work and look at it as a positive, productive thing?!

[hypatia]

What I really liked about my son's Montessori preschool was that the teachers were excellent. So warm and insightful and calm and competent. I'm sure that's true for most Montessori teachers because they have to work so hard to get certified.