Stop doing that right now or I'll hit you!

[dovey]

That's what my 3 yr. old said to my 1 yr. old. Then he started hitting her softly with one finger on her head. He's said it two times, once when she was standing up in her highchair, and once when she was eating crayons. It's like he's trying to help discipline her, but obviously the wrong way.

I don't know where he gets this from. I don't think we say stuff like that to him, but maybe he perceives it that way. His dad says stuff like "climb into your carseat before I count to 10 or I'll tickle you!" But it's always in a joking way. I guess maybe that kind of tactic isn't so good.

My one year old has started hitting this week too. It's so odd that all of this is coming up at once. She looks at me and then starts hitting her brother when he's doing something that she wants to have. I haven't reacted to this because my son doesn't seem to care, and I don't want her to associate hitting with me getting upset.

So, how are these two things related? I don't know. How should I treat these two situations?

[PrennaMama]

Why don't you want her to associate hitting with you getting upset? I would take that to be a good, sice she the natural consequence of her hitting is that it frustrates mom, or hurts other... kwim?

When dd hits, I let her know it's not ok to hit, it hurts... i she keeps hitting, I tell her I'm frustrated that she is not chosing to control her body, and ask if she needs a break, to get control.

[dovey]

Well, yeah, that makes sense. I just don't want her to associate hitting with me getting upset because whenever I'm upset, and I try to get her to stop doing something (i.e. hair pulling), she thinks it's hilarious, and laughs and does it more. I don't get the feeling that this is a malicious thing (obviously - she is one year old), but I'm sort of at a loss for disciplinary tactics.