Ok, this is a bit weird and I never even DREAMED it'd be an issue. We've been pretty "unconditional parenting" with DD so far, not using "good girl/bad girl" or "good-job"ing her to death or whatever, just LOVING her lots and in the rare event she does something not so cool, we explain what's not good about it... over and over, in the case of pulling the dog's tail, but whatever, she'll get it eventually and the dog is pretty patient. So, yay us there.
BUT the dog, who is a very good dog generally, does have some behaviours that we find we need to nip in the bud, like when she resumes begging for food, or takes food from DD's hand when DD isn't looking (and definitely isn't offering). So, when that happens, we usually tell the dog she's bad, and send her to her bed. This typically works, the dog refrains from begging for some time (like weeks) until the temptation gets too much again.
The dog gets disciplined quite a bit more at grandma & grandpa's house (the dog goes pretty much everywhere with us, and DD spends quite a bit of time, like maybe 2 days a week there, while I run errands etc., so the dog is there with her) because grandma has some rules about where dogs may park their possibly-not-entirely-clean bums. (Ok, grandma's a clean freak.) So Daisy (the dog) gets a lot more "go to your bed, ok, good dog, I'll get you a carrot" sort of things, which she doesn't appear to mind because the upshot is she gets to hang out with the humans all day and gets regular infusions of carrot. But, she does get told "good girl" a LOT and much less frequently "bad girl/dog".
So, DD has picked up on this, and when SHE does something she thinks is pretty cool, she "good girls" HERSELF. And, when she does something she knows she's not supposed to, and I express my displeasure (like drawing all over the coffee table) she'll mutter "bad girl" to herself even though NOBODY has ever said that to her, and when I express my displeasure it's always VERY clear that I object to the fact that the coffee table has scribbles on it, NOT that I think DD is in any way less loveable of wonderful.
My question is, if DD labels HERSELF a "good girl" or a "bad girl" (and please be aware that the "good girl"s outweigh the "bad girl"s by about 10:1) is this something to be worried about? And if so, what can we do about it?
Oh I should add that DD is 20 months and quite verbal - vocab of around 100 words or so, regularly talks in sentences.
BUT the dog, who is a very good dog generally, does have some behaviours that we find we need to nip in the bud, like when she resumes begging for food, or takes food from DD's hand when DD isn't looking (and definitely isn't offering). So, when that happens, we usually tell the dog she's bad, and send her to her bed. This typically works, the dog refrains from begging for some time (like weeks) until the temptation gets too much again.
The dog gets disciplined quite a bit more at grandma & grandpa's house (the dog goes pretty much everywhere with us, and DD spends quite a bit of time, like maybe 2 days a week there, while I run errands etc., so the dog is there with her) because grandma has some rules about where dogs may park their possibly-not-entirely-clean bums. (Ok, grandma's a clean freak.) So Daisy (the dog) gets a lot more "go to your bed, ok, good dog, I'll get you a carrot" sort of things, which she doesn't appear to mind because the upshot is she gets to hang out with the humans all day and gets regular infusions of carrot. But, she does get told "good girl" a LOT and much less frequently "bad girl/dog".
So, DD has picked up on this, and when SHE does something she thinks is pretty cool, she "good girls" HERSELF. And, when she does something she knows she's not supposed to, and I express my displeasure (like drawing all over the coffee table) she'll mutter "bad girl" to herself even though NOBODY has ever said that to her, and when I express my displeasure it's always VERY clear that I object to the fact that the coffee table has scribbles on it, NOT that I think DD is in any way less loveable of wonderful.
My question is, if DD labels HERSELF a "good girl" or a "bad girl" (and please be aware that the "good girl"s outweigh the "bad girl"s by about 10:1) is this something to be worried about? And if so, what can we do about it?
Oh I should add that DD is 20 months and quite verbal - vocab of around 100 words or so, regularly talks in sentences.
Less punishment/reward stuff, more removing the dog from the situation and putting her outside when things get a little rough, like when she takes the snacks. (The dog who lives with us does the snack thing too.)
