Argh! My 4.5 year old colored all over his walls!!!

[mistymama]

I'm actually pretty proud of how I handled this issue, but any insight or suggestions are always welcome.

I woke up this morning to find that my 4 and a half year old took a magic marker and scribbled all over the wall in his room last night. I have no idea where the marker came from, but I do know that he most certainly knows that we do not write on the walls!! : I figured this was probably more of an impulse control issue .. he found the pen and most likely didn't have the impulse control to NOT write on the wall when it was so very tempting.

So after taking a few deep breaths, I went into his room and talked with him. I reminded him that we are not allowed to draw on the walls, only on paper. He told me it would "dry" in a little bit and look like the other walls. I told him that this afternoon, after school, he and I were going to have to get the supplies and fix the wall. We brainstormed what we thought would fix it, he suggested water, and I suggested that we wash the wall down and then repaint it.

We were planning on doing an art project this afternoon, but I told him that the messy wall is bothering me, so I want us to repair the wall before we do any art projects. He fussed about this, which to me made it feel a bit punitive .. but at the same time, I don't think it's unfair to expect us to fix this mess before doing other things. The scribbled wall does bother me, and I wont be able to really relax until it's cleaned up.

So my plan is to pick him up from preschool, go get some paint and we'll go home and repair the wall together. THEN, if he wants, we can do an art project.

Is this fair? Am I being too punitive?

[ShaggyDaddy]

Are they his walls or your walls? I am not trying to get all self rightious on you, but honestly I don't understand assigning some space as "his" then requiring him to keep it the way you want it. I mean it is his or it is yours. Personally, since magic markers on the walls, painted over today or in 10 years is exactly the same amount of work, I would not press the issue.. of course maybe when he is 12 he would get annoyed with it and paint over it himself, then it is actually less work for you.

[mistymama]

The walls actually belong to our landlord.

[mavery]

Originally Posted by mistymama

The walls actually belong to our landlord.

Given this clarification, I think I would handle it just the way you did.

[mistymama]

Ack, my computer is acting all wierd and posted before I was done.

Anyway, it's not that I'm trying to be awful and anal. But we live in a small space, and his room is also where my desk/computer are. I work in there. And the scribbles on the wall look like crap, they bother me.

[mamaduck]

I think you handled it great. Nothing at all wrong, harsh, or punative. It might end up being fun even.

Before you go to the trouble of repainting, you might try "magic eraser" on it or something like that. I'm not sure I'd let a 4 year old help with the repainting -- that sounds brave, as you are likely to get pain spatters on the carpet, etc. But if you feel it will work out -- then go for it! You know your kid.

After you are finished repairing the wall and paint has dried, may I suggest that you attach a large peice of posterboard to his wall, and tell him that he can color on that the next time he feels the urge to draw on the wall.

[gcgirl]

Originally Posted by mamaduck

After you are finished repairing the wall and paint has dried, may I suggest that you attach a large peice of posterboard to his wall, and tell him that he can color on that the next time he feels the urge to draw on the wall.

Yep - that's what I was going to suggest as well.

It's interesting that the scribbles bother you - my parents made a point of NOT painting over some crazy little scribbles my sister made in the downstairs bathroom because they love those little reminders of what kids are like. I understand that you might be nervous about your landlord finding out, though.

[elizawill]

two words for ya:
magic eraser

[chfriend]

It's a piece of cake to get darn near anything of a wall with a Magic Eraser. I keep a supply handy.

[mamaduck]

my parents made a point of NOT painting over some crazy little scribbles my sister made in the downstairs bathroom because they love those little reminders of what kids are like.

Yeah - I remember some pencil drawings on the wall in our old house that I couldn't bring myself to erase. Something about it was just -- cute, I guess. It was hard for me to wash it off when we moved, and our landlady was due to walk through. And again, I wrecked a car (it was awful) earlier this year, and when our insurance co. made a settlement offer they mentioned that there was an ink drawing on the backseat (the car was totalled, so even bringing it up seems a little crazy) and they deducted about $15 off the settlement over it. I had to bite my lip not to shout, "Hey! That was a priceless peice of child-art! It should raise the value of the car. Someday he's going to be a famous artist and people will be outbidding each other at auction to get ahold of that scrap of apolstry!" I didn't say that though. I just laughed and accepted the deduction.

[Ruthla]

Your response sound appropriate to me.

The next logical step is to remove all markers from the house, or at the very least from his reach.

I've had a marker-free house for years. By the time my girls were both mature enough to handle them, DS was a toddler. It really irked me when my girls would get art sets as gifts, because then we'd have markers again, but the rest of the set was stuff they'd enjoy using, so I couldn't just take it away, and if I took the markers out of the set then the set would look incomplete and my Mom would always want to replace the missing markers. :

[aja-belly]

Originally Posted by gcgirl

It's interesting that the scribbles bother you - my parents made a point of NOT painting over some crazy little scribbles my sister made in the downstairs bathroom because they love those little reminders of what kids are like.

yeah, i agree.

also, i don't think posterboard is going to help the fact that his art bothers you and you think it looks like crap.

[mistymama]

Poster board is a GREAT IDEA! I think we might get some of that to pin up while we are out getting our supplies today.

My old house had pencil scribbles down the hallway and I loved those with all of my heart.

But somehow, huge black scribbles all over the freaking wall is just not charming! It's distracting.

[mistymama]

Originally Posted by aja-belly

yeah, i agree.

also, i don't think posterboard is going to help the fact that his art bothers you and you think it looks like crap.

Oh please. Are you serious? :

[Ceinwen]

Hey mama :

We had a little bit of that happen at our house recently, and it was with a sharpie marker no less.

Since dp is in New Bruswick working, and it was his marker (so I couldn't make him deal with it ) Z and I did exactly what you did.

Re-painted.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love my baby girl, I love her artwork, but not all over the wall.

It ended up being a lesson for both of us. I have to admit, I didn't even handle it as gracefully as you did... I blew my top first. We just did her room when we moved in here last November.

Anyway, I think you handled it beautifully. Nice to know the kiddoes are still keeping up with eachother.

[BellinghamCrunchie]

If you are going to paint over it, maybe you could have the art time before the re-painting, and maybe you and he could have a blast with the walls in the room... who knows, maybe you'll both end up loving it so much you'll want to keep it up for a few days or weeks (or until you're expecting the landlord to visit)

[mamaduck]

Originally Posted by aja-belly

also, i don't think posterboard is going to help the fact that his art bothers you and you think it looks like crap.

There are lots of ways to channel basically positive behaviors into constructive outlets, without damaging self-esteem. Its kind of like, "Hey I love your beautiful singing voice, but its a little too close to my ear now. Please take some steps back so I can enjoy it properly." Communicating that art work can be better enjoyed on paper is fine. Its a good thing for the kid to know.

[elizawill]

Originally Posted by aja-belly

yeah, i agree.

also, i don't think posterboard is going to help the fact that his art bothers you and you think it looks like crap.

what???!!!???? :

[aja-belly]

the origional poster stated that the problem was that the scribbles bothered her and she thought they looked like crap. i was just pointing out that posterboard wouldn't help that any. it was her words.

i don't see a problem with re-directing his creativity or even having him help paint over it (after all, it's not his or your property to decorate).

[elizawill]

i own my house and i don't have a landlord, and i still don't let my kids scribble on the walls with markers. this wasn't an art project her son did, he scribbled on the wall because he found a marker. kids do that kinda stuff, yk? it doesn't make mistymama or myself any less nurturing if we actually clean it or feel irritated that our children colored on something they shouldn't have.

if it was an ongoing issue, she could paint the wall with chalkboard paint and let him go at it....but it sounds like an isolated incident. i read her post as feeling frustrated because her son did something he knows not to do, and she was checking in to see if she handled it well. we all have different house rules....some don't care if their kids jump on the couch or stand on tables....but others don't allow that. when we post about getting GD guidance and support, it's important that we recognize our advice should be about gentle discipline & not feeling the need to challenge others in established house rules that aren't unreasonable.