5 y.o. climbing trees

[luv my 2 sweeties]

I need a little reassurance (or caution?) from BTDT moms. My 5 y.o. ds has been a climber since before he could walk, but this year, he's finally tall enough to hoist himself into trees and climb up. I don't have a problem with tree climbing in general, but he can go higher than I'm comfortable with. He's quite good at knowing his own physical abilities and limits, but I'm not sure how well he understands the limits of the tree branches, kwim? As he gets higher, I worry that he will use branches that aren't big enough to be safe.

So I want to be encouraging of his explorations, but I also want to keep him reasonably safe. (I don't mind him suffering a fall, even a somewhat painful one, since those kinds of accidents don't upset him or deter him much. I DO want to avoid *serious* injury, of course.) What limits, if any, have you set for your tree climbers? How do I manage this balance without turning all my hair gray? :

BTW, 7 y.o. dd climbs too, but she's much more cautious and never climbs higher than I would, so I don't worry.

[pigpokey]

I enjoyed the Mothering magazine article where the non-American parent rushed outside to admonish her son for climbing so high because the tree was young and he might harm the tree. Anyone remember that article? About an American mom who moved to ... Eastern Europe maybe?

I've not BTDT yet, but I do think five year olds used to be pretty unsupervised outside a generation or two ago.

[MamaRhi]

Ok, maybe it's just that it's morning, but I am having a hard time figuring out what BTDT means...

But I do have a 5 y.o. tree climber. He also quietly escapes from the house, takes a route through the side fence and swings up into the little tree in the front yard which he can easily climb to the top of. So we made two rules about tree climbing when we found him with his head poking out of the top of the little tree when all of us had thought he'd been in his room upstairs.... 1. Tree climbing is ok when there is an adult around to supervise WHO KNOWS YOU ARE THERE. and 2. Only climb trees/branches that can hold your weight. While I believe the little tree can hold him *now*, I seriously doubt it would hold his 8 y.o. sister so I've asked that he not get used to climbing this one as he'll quickly grow to heavy for it. I'm trying to figure out how to help him climb the stronger backyard trees that are just a little harder to get into till he gets a bit taller. You CAN help them learn how to judge the branch strength. It's all in how much it gives when you push on it and listening. If you hear the branch start to creak or crack, it's best to find a bigger/stronger one quickly.

[princesstutu]

BTDT= been there, done that

If your child is comfy going high, then I wouldn't worry about it. I used to climb trees to above our roof when I was a kid. I loved seeing the whole neighborhood. My mother hates heights, but you know what she did instead of admonishing me or worrying?

She found something else to do.

My kids love to climb trees, too, and my 5yo goes much higher than my 7yo and 8yo. I don't worry as long as he's not trying to jump down from that height.

Good luck! Focus on something else. Don't limit your kids simply b/c you would limit yourself.

[mamaduck]

My kids wish our trees were climbable. I'm considering nailing some boards to one of them to make a ladder so that they can get up into the branches, which are just too hight reach.

I would have some conversations with him and demonstrations about how to judge the strength of a branch, positioning himself near the trunk of the tree, and testing branches with one foot. I'm sure he's figured a lot of this out for himself, but it can't hurt to articulate some common sense.

Depending on the trees, I might set some markers or indicators for how high he could go -- but I would admit openly that it was about my own anxiety, and not about his ability.

Certain kinds of trees -- willow trees for example -- have weaker or more brittle branches, and should be avoided. This might be a good opportunity to do some research with you son, and learn all about trees together.

[edamommy]

my 4 year old climbs. BUT the LAW is that he can only climb with us RIGHT THERE... no climbing AT ALL if he's outside w/ his friends.

[luv my 2 sweeties]

Originally Posted by edamommy

my 4 year old climbs. BUT the LAW is that he can only climb with us RIGHT THERE... no climbing AT ALL if he's outside w/ his friends.

Do you really mean there is a law on the books, or that is the "law" in your house? I have forbidden climbing unsupervised, but I do let him do it with his sister around. She's not responsible for him, but she would come and get me if he got stuck or fell.

Thanks for all the responses so far. I usually go with my gut, but I'm not sure I trust my gut on this one. He's so much "gutsier" than me when it comes to physical stuff! It's good to hear other experiences.

I used to climb trees to above our roof when I was a kid.

Princesstutu, were you only 5 when you did that?

My main concern is that he's going so high so fast -- he just started climbing this week! If he were working his way up more slowly and getting to roof height at age 8 or 9, I'd feel much more confident about it. I guess that's a fantasy, huh?

[edamommy]

Originally Posted by luv my 2 sweeties

Do you really mean there is a law on the books, or that is the "law" in your house? I have forbidden climbing unsupervised, but I do let him do it with his sister around. She's not responsible for him, but she would come and get me if he got stuck or fell.

Do you really think there would BE a law "on the books" about child tree climbing?!??!?!?! :

no, it's our law.

[hottmama]

My son is 4.5 and he loves to climb trees with his friends. He also likes to hang upside down from the branches. I climbed trees all the time, unsupervised, as a kid and I think the experience in the outdoors is worth it to me to let him take the risk. He's never fallen and he used to hang upside down from the bar in the closet at our old house so I have watched him jump up and swing upside down safely a million times. I don't watch him outside all the time but there are always a bunch of kids out there who know where to find me, and I can hear him if he cries (which he does, if he so much as skins his knee).
Have you read "Last Child in the Woods"? It's pretty good and definitely convinced me of the value of unsupervised outdoor time for children.

[Mirzam]

Welcome to my world! My now 9 yo dd has always been a high climber at two she would climb the jungle gym on the side to the very top. DH even had a premonition that of her in her late teens/early twenties climbing a rock with her red hair flying! At 5 she started climbing at a local rock club and took to it instantly. Now at 9 (almost 10) she is an expert climber and boulder and is in a special program to develop young climbing talent. Trees are irresistable to her and she climbs to the very top of some very high trees. She knows what she is doing, she knows her limits so I have made my peace with the fear. You should see the other moms faces though! Anyway, my advice if you have a climber, take them to a climbing gym!

[tm2840]

DS is a climber, and has been since about the age of two. Some of the first words he learned were "stable" and "sturdy." Sturdy is the operative word in your case right now!

When he was much younger I supervised tree climbing. By the time he was five the concept of a branch that would support him was familiar to him AND he was developmentally able to judge if a branch was suitable. But my words from age two to five were always the same (the standard "running monologue" that mothers have).

"Do you see how big Mommy's upper arm is?" (Put one hand around my other arm). "Only stand on branches as big as Mommy's upper arm. Smaller branches aren't sturdy enough for you."

Now I just occasionally holler "Is the branch as big as my arm?"as a reminder if/when I notice him in a tree.

The concrete nature of this seemed to work well for him. Maybe it will for you too!

[momto l&a]

I dont hover over my kids. When they go outside they go unsupervised.

They are however reminded to think about what they are doing and to be very careful.

Thankfully my parents never hovered or supervised my outside play. They also taught me to think before doing. I climbed all sort of trees building whatever I wanted. Was never hurt.

Kids are 7, 5, 2.

[ASusan]

Originally Posted by tm2840

"Do you see how big Mommy's upper arm is?" (Put one hand around my other arm). "Only stand on branches as big as Mommy's upper arm. Smaller branches aren't sturdy enough for you."

Now I just occasionally holler "Is the branch as big as my arm?"as a reminder if/when I notice him in a tree.

The concrete nature of this seemed to work well for him. Maybe it will for you too!

The rule when I was young was "as big as your wrist" (the child's wrist), but maybe upper arm is better. However, the child always has his wrist to use as a concrete comparison.

[Pepperdove]

Man, my *2* year old has started climbing trees. 5 sounds like old hat to me. Thanks, DH, for teaching him THAT trick. Sigh.

[NaturalMamma]

Our DD is a climber! When we moved to this house w/a wonderful climbing tree (she was 5) she took to it immediately. She even taught an older neighbor boy how to climb. She generally won't climb the tree really high. They climb up to a level where they can hang out and have imaginative play.

Some rules I have are: no climbing w/flip-flops and no ropes/jump ropes hanging from the tree.

I'm not out there watching her when she is climbing. But, yes it makes me a tad nervous that it's possible she'll fall out on her head and it will be all over with....