X-posted from BF forum
the following is poster's replies and my answers
and the update:
I finally decided to pick up the prescription. I went to take one today and the sticker on the bottle said "do not take this medicine if you are breastfeeding."
Well DUH. The nurse wrote me the prescription when I said that I get depressed WHEN HE NURSES, so she had to know.
I called and got another nurse. She said it says that because there's not enough research to call it safe. Well, I'm not taking it.
She said another option (what? another option? the first nurse said meds or deal with it) is a therapist who can maybe help me deal with the emotions and stuff, and then refer me to a psychiatrist (at this point I'm thinking I'm in way over my head) to talk about medicine.
BUT... I have to wait until August 6 for the appointment. Meanwhile I have been singing, reading, etc to distract myself.
Thanks if you've read this whole thing. I'm just looking for some support. I guess I'm tempted to just cancel the appointment and go it alone, partly cause I don't like admitting there's a problem, partly for the impending insurance struggle.
Quote:
| Every single time I nurse Kalten, within 30 seconds of latching on, I feel this deep sadness/hopelessness, sometimes physically in my chest. Could it be hormonal? We've always had a pretty good nursing relationship, and whenever people say stuff like "he's so big!" I feel so proud that he's BF and I'm meeting his needs and keeping him healthy. When it happens, I try to put words to it and figure out what's wrong, but nothing ever is. What is it? I'd really like to figure it out, as it seems to be getting worse. |
Quote:
| BUT, the times I've felt it, I know it had nothing to do with any of this or anything else in my life for that matter. I could tell it was purely hormonal. Yeah, somehow I really think it doesn't have anything to do with things going on. It just feels like feelings. could you be pregnant? Hm. I doubt it, but I would absolutely love that! Maybe I'll try that preg test I have at home. DH and I planned on stopping BC in December. Was the birth difficult? Was your own birth or babyhood difficult? Those are questions that popped into my head, reading your post. Maybe you are still processing something. Or hormones. Or both. That's the thing. Everything was/is pretty much perfect... Are you mourning something? Were you hoping for a natural birth and had a c/s...? Did you have a miscarriage before this pregnancy...? Going back to work soon...? Maybe miss your "old self" a little...? I remember when DS was a little baby, sometimes when we were nursing or I was lying in bed with him watching him sleep, I would feel so overwhelmed with love that I would burst into tears. It terrified me how much I could love another person, and that if something happened to him I didn't think I could go on living. Basically, I was a hormonal wreck.  The only thing I can think of is that I wanted to do it without an epi but ended up with one and felt a little guilty for a week or two. But I'm pretty sure I'm over that. I've done the "burst into tears with love" thing a few times. It's different from that, but maybe related? dooney, my mom had post partum depression after me that really showed itself the most when she let down during breastfeeding. She would have an overwhelming sadness that was not just an emotional feeling, but also a physical one...she says that she could feel it in her chest, sometimes a sadness so deep it was in her very bones. The hormones involved with breastfeeding did intensify the feeling of sadness to a huge degree. For her it got worse because I had colic from food allergies that she didn't know about and I was a really, really, really cranky baby. Too, though she was happy in her marriage, she didn't have much support in her post partum period at all, and so was tired to boot. All of those things combined made for a very sad mama, especially with the hormones of let down. If you think that that might be the case, I will echo the other pp's and suggest that you DO see your doctor. There are things you can do, naturally as well as chemically, that are safe and effective for treating ppd, and will help to make you feel normal again...even if it's just when you're breastfeeding. That's exactly how I would describe it. Maybe it's so mild for me because I have a lot of support and Kalten's a really easy baby. What kind of doctor treats PPD? I don't have a regular doctor. Would my OB help? Thank you guys so much for your support and ideas and mostly for making me feel like I'm not alone and not crazy. I'd never heard of anyone being sad only while nursing. Within the last few days the sadness sometimes hasn't gone away which worries me. DH and I have a date planned for tonight and K's going to grandma's so maybe that will help a little. |
Quote:
| I finally called the women's health center. ("I'm going to have you hold a minute - oh wait, are you thinking of hurting yourself or the baby? lol)They made me answer a bunch of questions (I have blamed myself unnecessarily when things have gone wrong a-all the time, b-most of the time, c-hardly ever, or d-not at all - ARGH!) before she would let me explain. It made me so frustrated and for the rest of the call I was bordering on tears. I haven't cried the whole time this has been a problem. When I got to explain what was wrong, the nurse talked to my OB and he said it sounded like a rush of estrogen whenever I nurse. My options were a low dose of... I think she said Lexapro? or "monitor it and let us know if it worsens." Now I think I am worse off than before. I had her call in the prescription but I don't know if I'll pick it up. |
I finally decided to pick up the prescription. I went to take one today and the sticker on the bottle said "do not take this medicine if you are breastfeeding."
Well DUH. The nurse wrote me the prescription when I said that I get depressed WHEN HE NURSES, so she had to know.
I called and got another nurse. She said it says that because there's not enough research to call it safe. Well, I'm not taking it.
She said another option (what? another option? the first nurse said meds or deal with it) is a therapist who can maybe help me deal with the emotions and stuff, and then refer me to a psychiatrist (at this point I'm thinking I'm in way over my head) to talk about medicine.
BUT... I have to wait until August 6 for the appointment. Meanwhile I have been singing, reading, etc to distract myself.
Thanks if you've read this whole thing. I'm just looking for some support. I guess I'm tempted to just cancel the appointment and go it alone, partly cause I don't like admitting there's a problem, partly for the impending insurance struggle.
We were in the same ddc. I couldn't read this and not respond. I lurk on this forum because I got hit with a bad bout of ppd and while it wasn't just while nursing, I empathize with your feelings of confusion and wanting to "go it alone"....not wanting to admit to struggling etc. I lashed out at my ds a couple of times though and realized that I was hating my life, thats when I called the midwives, who called in script for zoloft asap. I guess knowing how much I was against taking anything helped them realize that if I was asking for it that I must really need it. It DID give me a lifeline when I needed one. I weaned myself off of it almost as soon as I started though, after reading the Mood Cure which sprang from a thread in this forum actually titled "A True Natural Remedy". It's a majorly long thread and I haven't gotten through the whole thing but it's led me down a different path on my journey. So far so good! I'm doing St. John's Wort and a bunch of amino acids. I don't know where I was going with that. I guess I just wanted to say hello and to offer a 
. No one can tell us how to proceed down our personal path of course but its support you want so its support you have. Lots and lots 
: This is exactly what happened to me with both my kids. I remembered loving being able to bf but hating it at the same time because I would get this rush of "yucky" feelings that I couldn't explain every time I would nurse.
But, Wow! I had never heard of anyone else experiencing this.
That ends up adding to the depression for so many and totally unneccesarily. No thanks to the Dr.'s who don't choose to make themselves aware.
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