Dreaded question with our 14 year old

[JacobWestlake]

Our son Michael is 14, will be 15 in November.

When our son was 3, he had to have a testicle removed. Last week he finally asked us why he only had one testicle. We've never talked with him about it before, we'd just assumed that he'd come to us whenever he wanted to ask. Well he finally did and apparently he's upset over it, because he's not yet started puberty yet. He wants to see a doctor and get shots.

A) how do we talk with him about him losing a testicle when he was 3? It never descended and it was atrophied, they removed it for his saftey.

B) We'd rather not have him get artificial hormones to boost his growth if we dont have to. But then again, he might just need the assistance with one testicle.

[LotusBirthMama]

He's fourteen and probably old enough to know why it was removed. I mean, he can probably understand the medical need for the removal. I would maybe take him to his doctor and let your son ask about puberty and the impact that only one testicle will have and maybe go from there. Good luck. My oldest brother has only one and I don't recall him ever needing hormomes.

[JacobWestlake]

Originally Posted by LotusBirthMama

He's fourteen and probably old enough to know why it was removed. I mean, he can probably understand the medical need for the removal. I would maybe take him to his doctor and let your son ask about puberty and the impact that only one testicle will have and maybe go from there. Good luck. My oldest brother has only one and I don't recall him ever needing hormomes.

Do you recall if his puberty was late because of it?

[BamaDude]

Originally Posted by JacobWestlake

Our son Michael is 14, will be 15 in November.

When our son was 3, he had to have a testicle removed. Last week he finally asked us why he only had one testicle. We've never talked with him about it before, we'd just assumed that he'd come to us whenever he wanted to ask. Well he finally did and apparently he's upset over it, because he's not yet started puberty yet. He wants to see a doctor and get shots.

A) how do we talk with him about him losing a testicle when he was 3? It never descended and it was atrophied, they removed it for his saftey.

Try telling him exactly that, in exactly those words.

Originally Posted by JacobWestlake

B) We'd rather not have him get artificial hormones to boost his growth if we don't have to. But then again, he might just need the assistance with one testicle.

I have known two guys who had only one testicle: One who lost one of his to mumps at 8 and another who had one testicle that never descended and it was removed when he was very young. Neither needed hormones of any kind during puberty. I suspect that much as one lung or kidney can do the work of two if need be, so can one testicle.

As for Michael being worried about being a "late bloomer", how old were you and your partner when you went through puberty? These things tend to be hereditary, and not everyone is destined to be 6'1" and shaving in the sixth grade.

Also, Michael might be interested in having a prosthetic testicle implanted once he's through puberty. They're not uncommon, and they can make a world of difference to a guy's self esteem.

[LotusBirthMama]

Originally Posted by JacobWestlake

Do you recall if his puberty was late because of it?

Not really, but I don't think it was. I know he grew facial hair fairly young..so if it was delayed, it wasn't by much. And he was really into Playboy at like...13, if that means anything!

[JacobWestlake]

Originally Posted by BamaDude

As for Michael being worried about being a "late bloomer", how old were you and your partner when you went through puberty? These things tend to be hereditary, and not everyone is destined to be 6'1" and shaving in the sixth grade.

I started around 12. I'm not sure about my wife. I asked to take a look down there this evening. I cant recall seeing that area for the past several years. He's definitely not started puberty yet, as he's not yet developed pubic hair, but he's not a baby down there either.

We told him that if he wants, we can make arrangements for him to see a doctor, but they will want to look also. He's said that he can wait until he's 15 and if nothing changes by then he will want to.

Also, we did tell him this evening about having one removed for his safety because it h ad not descended and it atrophied. I could see the acceptance on his face, bu I could also see hurt. It worries me.

[JacobWestlake]

Originally Posted by LotusBirthMama

Not really, but I don't think it was. I know he grew facial hair fairly young..so if it was delayed, it wasn't by much. And he was really into Playboy at like...13, if that means anything!

I dont know if he's into those types of magazines or not. He does not want to learn to use the computer for more than typing up school reports and such, so I dont think he's been exposed to it online.

[Spirit Dancer]

hi there.
My experience is a little different but I thought you might find it reassuring. My dh had a testicle removed due to it having a lump when we were first married. The dr he saw was a top specialist in this area ans said that one testicle will compensate for the lost one and work as`well as two would. Totally no need for added hormones.
Also 6 mo after that I got preg with my son and 8 mo after his birth I got preg again! It does not affect fertility!
But if he wants I would let him go to a dr (one who knows about these things) and let the dr reassure him.

[anubis]

It's fairly common to have a testicle removed. Most men with one testicle have perfectly normal sexual development. As mentioned earlier, it's a bit like having one kidney or ovary, the one that's there will compensate for the other. Similarly, men with one testicle generally do not have a great reduction in fertility (one of DP's old medical books I've got here says 10% chance of infertility, compared to 6% for men with two testicles). If it's what he wants, I'd take him to see a doctor to get reassurance.

[Tishie]

Yes, even if the testicle issue isn't causing problems, it still seems the compassionate thing to do to take him to see a doctor who can help him feel better. It's such a tough time to be different or a "late bloomer."

[Yoshua]

Testicles have very little, if anything, to do with puberty. It has to do with the patuitary gland and when it starts excreting the proper hormones to kick his body into grow mode.


You can take him to the doctor but I highly doubt the doctor will recomend hormone treatment at 14. It will most likely wind up in a conversation about the nessesity of removing the testicle when he was an infant and his fears about being a late bloomer and how to deal with them.

[Mama Dragon]

One of my brothers had a testicle removed as a child, he went on to develop as he was supposed to and has 2 kids, totally naturally conceived.

[jennnk]

I have a friend who was an FAS baby, and in addition to having 11 toes and only one fully-formed hand, he was born with only one testicle. It didn't affect puberty at all, or his sex drive, or his fertility. He was more self-conscious about his feet than about his testicle, to be honest. Some kids are just late bloomers - I was the next-to-last of my friends to menstruate, had no breasts to speak of until 16, and never grew taller than 5'0". It wasn't because of anything medical, it was just how my body was made to be.

[JacobWestlake]

We saw a specialist today that deals with childrens puberty situations, and he examined Mike, and said that he's not yet hit puberty, but its coming. He says unless Michael has a huge problem with it, he wants to wait for another year to see how he progresses. His bone age is only 12 and 3 months, and he said that by the time he's a few months from turning 16, if he's not yet hit puberty then its definitely time to give him a hand. If Mike starts having social problems because of it, it can be discussed earlier.

We talked about him only having only one testicle, and the specialist said that it wont make any difference, and its not the cause of him being prepubescent at almost age 15. He said they make artificial testicles for people like him. If he wants one, he can have one right now, they can match the size. But he said it would be prudent to wait until after puberty is done. Right now they'd have to change it out every few months and opening his scrotum that many times to do that would cause more scarring than what it would be of a social value.

As for Mikes feelings in the matter..

He's OK with waiting a year, at the present time. He just wanted answers

[Tishie]

Oh, that's great! So he's feeling better, and you have options if need be.

[jeanieloz]

That's good news.
If it's any consolation, my son was about 14 before he hit puberty, he's 15 1/2 now and his voice hasn't even changed yet, and he's over 6 ft tall! He hated that his shorter friends have hit puberty earlier, and now seem so more "manly" than him.
My 12 yr old doesn't look to be anywhere near puberty yet.
donna

[Laggie]

I think this might be more about your son's hurt feelings that you never talked to him about this. I mean... don't you think he has wondered about it all these years? Or was he somehow unaware that most boys have two testicles?

Whatever your reasons are for not talking to him about it, I think you need to explain them to him, and maybe even apologize.