question for midwives

[madhavi]

i noticed that with my two births the midwives i had only responded to the questions i had. usually they would say, "do you have any questions?' during my prenatals but they never brought up things they 'thought i should know'
with my first pregnancy i didn't really know what to ask...and with my second i had tons of questions and created an intimate bond with my midwife. i suppose the reason for childbirth ed is b/c that's not really a midwife's job?
i feel like your sharing the most intimate moments of your life with the midwife, shouldn't they ask you many questions...and get to know you? is there some sort of rule or standard about this for midwives?
or is it individual?
just wondering...maybe i'm outta line...

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[Midwife Kris]

Are you saying there is no conversation unless they ask you if you have any questions? If you are having good conversations about things on tap for that particular visit they can acquire knowledge and answer their questions simply by talking to you rather than asking you specific questions. I'm not saying that they have the answers to everything but a regular old conversation can tell us a lot. For example I don't have to ask you how you're doing at the start of the appointment if you are late, rush in, and tell me, "Gosh I am so stressed with work/kids/school that I didn't have time to eat or drink much today and to top it off I am SO TIRED and hardly have any free time to put up my swollen feet or even walk around the block and get some exercise!" I use that declaration to talk about strategies for getting more rest, food, drink, exercise, and cut down on stress without asking too many questions.

[madhavi]

that's not exactly what i meant.
for example, a friend of mine is a birth and pp doula. she asks questions about any sexual abuse issues, fears, miscarriages, etc. i've never had a midwife ask me anything like that. i'm just wondering what a midwives protocol is.

[Reha]

Originally Posted by madhavi

i'm just wondering what a midwives protocol is.

I think that is is very individual, depending on the midwife. Every midwife has a different way of being. Of course, most midwives (all?) will inquire about pertinent medical history (like miscarriages), etc.

[KLPeanut]

I think it is very individual with midwives and their practices. Some of the questions are on the intake forms that are usually filled out at the first visit. I think it is the responsibility of the midwife to ask the right questions and to listen but it is also the responsibility of the mom to volunteer information. Of course as a first time mom you don't always know what is going to affect your birth.