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Rant!!! Is 35 too old to ttc - Page 2

post #21 of 57
i conceived #1 at 35 -- now 36 and eagerly awaiting birth. i have had morning sickness and swollen feet -- neither age-related.
post #22 of 57
Gee, I hope 35 isn't too old. I'm 43 and ttc. I had #1 just before my 33rd birthday, #2 at 35, and #3 at 38. If all goes well I'll have #4 at 44.

Kiley
post #23 of 57
I know of many women who have healthy children after age 35. In fact, statistically more and more women are having children later in life.

There was a study released last year that the magical cut-off age of 35 was no longer as valid due to a better understanding of pregnancy, fertility, and of course advances in medicine.

I know some women in their early 40s who are new mothers. It's quite common.

And in the age of more people going to college, having student loans, and getting married or partnered later in life, I think it seems like an understandable progression.
post #24 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grace24 View Post
I would've been a terrible mother ten years ago! ... Now I'm calm, peaceful, settled, and married to a wonderful man. NOW is when I'm going to have babies, and I don't care who has what to say about it!

Find another doctor!
:

I had #1 just before I turned 33, and #2 will definitely be after the age of 35, since I've only got 2-1/2 months until that milestone! In fact, I'll probably be 36 or 37 before we have #2.

Yes, women's fertility does decrease after the mid-20's, but instead of being a flippin' freak, your doc could've handled it in a much more reasonable and helpful way. ("If you're going to ttc again, let's talk about the risks, and what you can do to improve your chances..." etc.) Yikes. If you don't report her, I'd at least write a formal letter to the office and send a carbon copy to the medical board!
post #25 of 57
Thread Starter 
Thanks for the replies! I have some different news about this situation. I talked to a friend thats affiliated with the dr's office and she told me it wouldn't do any good to report her cuz she's just a Physician's Assistant and not a real dr, is that true? I didn't even know she was a assistant, people call her Dr.:
post #26 of 57
Proof that UA violations come in all professions (see my sig.) Oh, and in many states, allowing people to call you "Dr." if you're a PA or NP is acting outside of your license & you can be disciplined for that by the state board. Just an FYI.

FTR, IMHO, health & willingness/readiness to have a child has much more to do with a healthy outcome for the child than mom's chronological age.

Certainly the fertility issues (and common need to use donor egg to achieve pregnancy in the 43-44+ range) mentioned by a PP are definitely there, but there's no reason to begin to *prevent* pregnancy at 35 or 40 just because of the birthday. It may be harder to get pg, but that doesn't mean a desired pregnancy is a bad idea.
post #27 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by joy2bmom View Post
I talked to a friend thats affiliated with the dr's office and she told me it wouldn't do any good to report her cuz she's just a Physician's Assistant and not a real dr, is that true? I didn't even know she was a assistant, people call her Dr.:
I thought that PAs have a governing body as well as docs. My cousin is a PA, and I certainly know that she had to pass a bunch of exams in order to get her license (kind of like the bar exam for lawyers). It's not some fly-by-night profession. A PA has taken a masters degree program on top of a science-based undergrad, and has done at least one unpaid externship before being licensed. A PA has the ability to write prescriptions. So no, she's not a doc, but she still should know better and be professionally accountable!!
post #28 of 57
I would of given her an earful! I was 38 when I had #1 (my son), 40 when I had #2 (my daughter) and we are TTCing baby #3 and I will be 42 in November!

My OB/GYN has no problems with it at all. In fact she said go for it!

I know I am at high risk. Doubly so because my daughter has special needs. But we have made the decision to move forward and try for baby#3. Which will be our last one. Sadly...
post #29 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by lucky_mia View Post
I am happy to hear that you are pg and doing well but the reality is that a woman's fertility does start to decrease starting in her late twenties and even more so after 35 and certainly after 40. That does not mean a woman should not have a baby after 35, but they should have the facts. We see lots of celebrities having children in their 40s and really it is misleading as a woman has a very small chance of getting and staying pregnant after 40 with her own eggs. Many people are using donor eggs. I bet the women in your office didn't get pregnant with their own eggs. Yes, it is possible but statisitcally, not very likely.
yes to that. I think that should have been touched upon. Maybe I'm more sensitive to the fertility angle of it because my grandma had twins at 41 and never had a period after that.
Also, my mom and her sister went through menopause around 41-42.
post #30 of 57
I am 42 and currently pregnant (past the 12 week mark) as a single mother by choice using my own eggs and very low-tech insemination methods. This has been the EASIEST pregnancy I have ever experienced, although part of that may be that I take things in stride more now than I did in my 20s and that I don't expect life to hand me nothing but flowers and sunshine.

This will also be my first UC/UP, although I have had three midwife assisted births.

One of my mentors had her youngest (of twelve) when she was 46, and she's not the type to use donor eggs and high-tech reproductive technology even if she could afford it which she can't.

Your doctor was out of line. I used to believe the 35 cut-off lie myself, but I wasn't ready to have another baby when I was only 35; I was still too flaky and too burned from the consequences of having a crack addict's kids and my big kids were too needy.

It only took me fifteen cycles to conceive this babe and I was not able to arrange things with the donor for all fifteen of those cycles. It took almost three years between my surviving dd and my ds and I was married and in my early 20s.

Please do not automatically assume that you will have more problems with TTC, pregnancy, and birth just because you are older. I was certainly prepared, but it has not proven to be the case. My littlest little one has been pure joy and s/he was the best decision I have ever made.
post #31 of 57
My mom had me at 34 and my little sister at 37. She had a few problems but they had nothing to do with age. A woman at my church had her two year old at age 40 (her first and only).
post #32 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by lucky_mia View Post
I am happy to hear that you are pg and doing well but the reality is that a woman's fertility does start to decrease starting in her late twenties and even more so after 35 and certainly after 40. That does not mean a woman should not have a baby after 35, but they should have the facts. We see lots of celebrities having children in their 40s and really it is misleading as a woman has a very small chance of getting and staying pregnant after 40 with her own eggs. Many people are using donor eggs. I bet the women in your office didn't get pregnant with their own eggs. Yes, it is possible but statisitcally, not very likely.
Statisically, a 40+ year old woman has a 5% chance of conceiving unaided. However, those odds can be aided with: fertility drugs, in-vitro fertilization or with zygote or gamete transfer. All of those procedures can be done with the woman's own eggs. I believe fertility is also enhanced if you are not trying to have your first over age 40. I wouldn't go so far as to say it's LIKELY the women used someone else's eggs, but they may have had some other fertility help.

As long as you are menstruating, you are still capable of conceiving. Age of menstruation/menopause is individual but tends to run in families. My mother conceived me at the age of 42 with only 1 ovary working. This was before the first test tube baby so it certainly wasn't with donor eggs. My sister had 3 children between the ages of 37 and 40 (3 under 3!) and my other sister had one child at the age of 42. DH and I are TTC and I'm 37.
post #33 of 57
There certainly were no donor eggs when I concieved last year at age 43.
No donor eggs when Mom had conceived at 43 back in '80.
post #34 of 57
lucky mia...yes, both the women I work with got pregnant on their own with their own eggs. Both were quite surprised! In fact there were seven babies at work that year, we were joking it was something in the water

Yes fertility declines, we know this... but there's not really a "magic age" like this woman's doctor said, as everyone's different... by the way it only took us two months to conceive.
post #35 of 57
WOW! I'm sorry!
You should at least leave a negative rating for here here:
http://ratemds.com/search.jsp?country=0
If her name isn't on the list, you can add it yourself.
Again, I'm very sorry. 35 isn't old AT ALL!!!!
post #36 of 57
I'm sorry that happened to you. I think you're right- you need to drop that doc like a hot potato. I don't think 35 is too old to ttc by any means- I think as long as you are aware of the extra risks and are prepared to deal with them, it's certainly no self-important know-it-all doctor's place to presume to tell you what to do!
post #37 of 57
this dr. sounds like an ignorant creep. I'm a labor and delivery nurse at a busy suburban hospital and I take care of women over 35 having totally normal, healthy pregnancies all the time. Blow her off...
post #38 of 57
Depends on the woman I suppose... but I do know a mama who started at 35 and has 4 so far.....
post #39 of 57
Ah on her!

I had my 1st @ 34;
2nd @ 37
3rd @ 41

And I'm starting to feel that familiar pang for another baby now @ 42.
post #40 of 57
I wonder if she would have had different comments if you did NOT yet have children? Or just one? I noticed the comments really changed when I was pregnant with number 3. There's a bit of a stigma against "larger" families of 3 or more kids. Being happy with 2 is some sort of standard. Nobody commented on my age but they did question my sanity at going for a 3rd. Whatever her prejudices, she was way off base. Good for you for standing up for yourself.
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