Originally Posted by lucky_mia
Many people are using donor eggs. I bet the women in your office didn't get pregnant with their own eggs.
Watch what you say there. I've had people assume I used donor eggs with my pregnancies because of my age. It's sort of like looking at a mother whose skin color differs from her child's, and assuming the child is adopted... I read a thread about that here too recently. There's nothing wrong with using donor eggs or adopting... but making assumptions like that is really not very polite.
I believe that the biggest reason so many women (who can afford the procedures) choose IVF and donor eggs is that the doctors tell them to do it. We're told "go see your doctor if it takes over 6 months to TTC at age 35 or older." I was told by doctors at age 36 and again at age 37 that my eggs were "too old" and I should go ahead and use donor eggs. Many of my friends in their 30s were told the same thing when they went to see their doctors, with no physical reason except for age
. So they were, of course, terrified, and went ahead and did the IVF (some with their own eggs and some with donor eggs).... while other friends of mine who weren't even TTC got pregnant by accident in their late 30s (despite using birth control). Do you see something wrong with this picture?
As for us, we took a break from TTC for a while, improved our diets and general health, and when we tried again, at age 39 I had no trouble conceiving (on our first or second month TTC, I don't really remember), had an easy pregnancy, and we had a healthy homebirthed baby. When we decided to TTC our second child, I was 41 and we conceived the first month we tried; the pregnancy has been easy so far and baby is due next month.
Doctors suggest intervention to women over 35 because it raises the chances of conceiving a baby, but it is certainly not the ONLY way that women in their late 30s and early 40s have babies.